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Entry tags:
Torchwood: Fanfic: Indecent proposal
Title: Indecent proposal
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 594 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, Undercover couple" at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fic_promptly
fic_promptly Summary: Ianto has to question whether Jack is being serious or not.
Ianto isn’t quite sure what to make of Jack’s suggestion. Perhaps he’s just joking to see if Ianto will bite. Jack is always trying to wind him up and Ianto is always proving to him that he’s a hard man to bait. He can’t really mean it.
‘Undercover? As a couple?’ There’s no actual inflection that implies what Ianto is asking is intended as a question. He says it merely as a statement, repeating Jack’s earlier words.
‘Why not Owen and Gwen?’ God knew he didn't want to suggest pairing Gwen up with anyone else, especially not Jack. They could pass off as a couple. They had in fact, for a very brief time, been a couple, or at last a convenient shag.
‘Maybe if this was an estate in Splott,’ Jack replied, ‘but it’s not. This place,’ Jack paused to check his notes again, ‘Serenity Plaza, god who comes up with these names? Anyway, it’s one of those new developments, all cookie cutter houses and white picket fences and ridiculously nice people. Owen and Gwen having a domestic in this place would be a disaster.’
Ianto cringed, trying to picture himself in the Welsh equivalent of Pleasantville, then adding Jack to that mental image. Good grief. ‘But us? Really?’
‘Why not? We’d just be the nice, happy, progressive gay couple.’
‘And you don’t think that would make us stand out?’ Why not drape themselves in fairy lights and shove sparklers up their arses while they were at it?
‘Are you kidding? Places like this love that stuff. And, that means everyone will want to get to know us, which is good for us as we want to get to know them.’
‘We do?’
Jack put the file down and his usual serious look of askance reappeared on his face. ‘Ianto, this place is hosting alien sleepers from Cell 114. Remember them?’
‘Obviously,’ he replied. How could he forget the nail biting, very nearly end of the world scenarios that had placed out when the last lot had all been woken from their sleeper identities, nearly setting off nuclear armageddon. Ianto tried to push past his reluctance. ‘And how long would we have to be, er, undercover?’
Jack shrugged. ‘I don’t know. A few weeks, maybe a month or two.’
‘A mon–’ Ianto bit down on his words. Living in a real house, pretending that he and Jack were a happy couple, enjoying the domestic life whilst still having to keep up with all their regular Torchwood duties. How was that supposed to work? ‘What about this place?’ he asked, indicating the hub towering all around them.
‘Still gotta go to work,’ Jack replied. ‘The neighbours don’t need to know where. Plus, you’ll be there to make sure they don’t pry too hard, keeping house and whipping up a storm in the kitchen.’ Jack then had the cheek to grin salaciously. ‘Trimming the verge and making all the neighbours jealous that they aren’t married to the sexiest man in the street.’
Ianto narrowed his eyes. ‘Perhaps you should be the one to get all shirtless repotting the daisies.’ Now that would give all the neighbours something to talk about.
‘Don’t wanna stand out that much,’ Jack said. ‘C’mon. It’ll be fun. And we’ll still be saving the planet.’ Jack grinned again, sliding out a magazine from underneath the file. ‘I’ll even let you pick out the furniture.’
Ianto snatched the magazine, trying not to let it look like Jack had won the argument. ‘Fine. But only because I don’t want the world to end.’
Ianto isn’t quite sure what to make of Jack’s suggestion. Perhaps he’s just joking to see if Ianto will bite. Jack is always trying to wind him up and Ianto is always proving to him that he’s a hard man to bait. He can’t really mean it.
‘Undercover? As a couple?’ There’s no actual inflection that implies what Ianto is asking is intended as a question. He says it merely as a statement, repeating Jack’s earlier words.
‘Why not Owen and Gwen?’ God knew he didn't want to suggest pairing Gwen up with anyone else, especially not Jack. They could pass off as a couple. They had in fact, for a very brief time, been a couple, or at last a convenient shag.
‘Maybe if this was an estate in Splott,’ Jack replied, ‘but it’s not. This place,’ Jack paused to check his notes again, ‘Serenity Plaza, god who comes up with these names? Anyway, it’s one of those new developments, all cookie cutter houses and white picket fences and ridiculously nice people. Owen and Gwen having a domestic in this place would be a disaster.’
Ianto cringed, trying to picture himself in the Welsh equivalent of Pleasantville, then adding Jack to that mental image. Good grief. ‘But us? Really?’
‘Why not? We’d just be the nice, happy, progressive gay couple.’
‘And you don’t think that would make us stand out?’ Why not drape themselves in fairy lights and shove sparklers up their arses while they were at it?
‘Are you kidding? Places like this love that stuff. And, that means everyone will want to get to know us, which is good for us as we want to get to know them.’
‘We do?’
Jack put the file down and his usual serious look of askance reappeared on his face. ‘Ianto, this place is hosting alien sleepers from Cell 114. Remember them?’
‘Obviously,’ he replied. How could he forget the nail biting, very nearly end of the world scenarios that had placed out when the last lot had all been woken from their sleeper identities, nearly setting off nuclear armageddon. Ianto tried to push past his reluctance. ‘And how long would we have to be, er, undercover?’
Jack shrugged. ‘I don’t know. A few weeks, maybe a month or two.’
‘A mon–’ Ianto bit down on his words. Living in a real house, pretending that he and Jack were a happy couple, enjoying the domestic life whilst still having to keep up with all their regular Torchwood duties. How was that supposed to work? ‘What about this place?’ he asked, indicating the hub towering all around them.
‘Still gotta go to work,’ Jack replied. ‘The neighbours don’t need to know where. Plus, you’ll be there to make sure they don’t pry too hard, keeping house and whipping up a storm in the kitchen.’ Jack then had the cheek to grin salaciously. ‘Trimming the verge and making all the neighbours jealous that they aren’t married to the sexiest man in the street.’
Ianto narrowed his eyes. ‘Perhaps you should be the one to get all shirtless repotting the daisies.’ Now that would give all the neighbours something to talk about.
‘Don’t wanna stand out that much,’ Jack said. ‘C’mon. It’ll be fun. And we’ll still be saving the planet.’ Jack grinned again, sliding out a magazine from underneath the file. ‘I’ll even let you pick out the furniture.’
Ianto snatched the magazine, trying not to let it look like Jack had won the argument. ‘Fine. But only because I don’t want the world to end.’