BTBD Challenge - Pretty in pink

[m_findlow]

Title: Pretty in pink
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto,  OCs
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 2,636 words
Content notes: Written for Challenge 53 - Pink at beattheblackdog
Summary: Ianto is trying out a different shade, albeit involuntarily

As he slumped into bed and pulled the covers up, he could already feel the beginnings of a headcold. Great. No doubt one of the kids had brought it home from school. Within a few days, they'd all have it, and there was nothing worse than a house full of sick kids. Jack would be the worst of course. The biggest kids of them all, and the worst patient by a million miles. He snuggled under the covers and drifted off to sleep, already dreading tomorrow.

 

When he woke he felt surprisingly good. The tired, achy feeling was gone, and his head felt clear. Amazing what a good night's sleep could do, he thought.

Achoo! came the sneeze from behind him, followed by a groan, as a lazy arm wrapped around him. He might be headcold free, but it seemed like Jack had fallen victim instead.

Achoo! Another groan.

'Jack,' Ianto muffled, turning over to come face to face with his lover. 'How're you feeling?'

Jack cracked open an eyelid and a frown crossed his face. 'I'm fine, but you I'm not so sure about.'

It was Ianto's turn to frown. He felt fine. Better than fine. What was Jack talking about?

'I'm fine,'  he said, before receiving a face full of Jack's next sneeze.

'You might want to check yourself in the mirror, then,' Jack replied.

 

Okay, Ianto thought, consulting his reflection. That was different. From head to toe he was covered in a thick coat of dense fur, the colour of candy floss. The hair on his head was was gone, or perhaps buried underneath the thick coat, his hands and feet equally furry, more like big paws, though all his fingers and toes were still intact. Only his face was mildly less furry, but just as pink, including a cute little pink button nose.

'I don't remember accidentally activating any alien devices yesterday,' he said, staring glumly at the enormous pink yeti staring back at him.

Achoo! came the reply, Jack wiping his wrist across his nose, before Ianto frowned disdainfully,  passing him the box of tissues.

'Whatever it is, it seems your nose doesn't agree with it.'

'Sorry babe,' Jack apologised. 'It must be the hair. You remember how bad it was when we had that stupid cat around the hub.'

Ianto sighed loudly. 'Okay, well, looks like I'm off to the hub to try and fix this. You'll have to take the kids to school.'

 

Ianto had been hoping to sneak out of the house without waking their children. They had to put up with enough weirdness around here without him adding to it. They were the most unfazed, resilient bunch of eight year olds in all of Britain, he was sure of it. Hopefully he could get to the hub fix this, and be back to normal in time to pick them up from school at 3.30.

As luck would have it though, Eleri was padding down the hall toward the bathroom at that moment, teddy still tucked under her arm. Her tiny little frame stopped suddenly at the sight, there was a yelp of surprise, then a squeal of delight, as she ran forward and slammed into his legs, squeezing tightly.

'Daddy! You look like Harold!' she said, referring to her teddy. Moments later, there was the sound of two more sets of tiny feet pounding down the hall. Sian squealed, and Tom broke out into a massive grin. 'No way,' he said.

Ianto could have hugged them all at that point. Most kids would be terrified. Not theirs. Bless.

Sian looked up at Jack. 'Will Daddy be okay?'

Jack picked her up and pecked her on the cheek. 'Of course he will, pumpkin. Uncle Owen will have Daddy fixed in no time.'

 

Uncle Owen had no idea what had suddenly made Ianto sprout thick pink fur. Yesterday had been something of a show and tell session at the hub, with each of the team presenting on various projects they'd been working on.  With the size of their team these days, it was the only way to keep up to date with what everyone was working on. There'd been dozens of different artifacts shown off yesterday, but no one else from the team had arrived at the hub mysteriously afflicted.

'Apart from the obvious,  you seem perfectly fine,' Owen reported, having squinted at the test results.

'You should get glasses,' Ianto replied, watching as Owen struggled with the small print.

'Thanks for the medical opinion,' he replied gruffly. 'Just because you never get any older doesn't mean you can take the mick out of the rest of us.' Ianto just shrugged in reply. Owen hadn't mellowed over the years one iota.

Without a probable cause, the solution was even less forthcoming, forcing him to work around the hub as he was. He'd tried donning one of his suits, but with pink fur sticking out at every cuff and buttonhole, and trying to fit his furry feet into shoes and socks impossible, it just looked ridiculous, so he had to suffer wandering around, as Jack put it, "au naturale".

He'd barely seen Jack all day, having kept his distance on account of Jack's allergies, and also having to leave parenting duties to him. He couldn't very well do the school run as he was, and Tom had football practice after school. At least it was Friday. They had the whole weekend to get their lives back on track.

 

When Ianto arrived home that night Jack was already in the kitchen fixing dinner.

'Just when I thought I'd finally stopped my nose from running,' Jack teased, greeting him, before sneezing again.

'You're not doing anything for my morale,' Ianto grumbled.

'At least the kids don't seem to have inherited my allergies,' Jack noted, watching as they moved about the house,  immune to the hair that was inadvertently being shed everywhere. All they wanted to do was touch it, and marvel at the strangeness that was so much a part of their lives.

After dinner, Ianto decided he'd had enough of listening to Jack's sneezes and sniveling. They weren't even in the same room! He went to the bathroom to shower, feeling ten kinds of filthy. It turned out that showering with fur took a whole lot longer than without, and he used up most of the bottles of shampoo and conditioner, just trying to wash it all. When he hadn't surfaced from the bathroom for a long while, Jack went in to check on him, allergies be damned. When he saw the sopping wet mess that was Ianto, he laughed.

'You look like a drowned rat,' he giggled

Ianto groaned and scrubbed the towel hard over his body but it only made the now dump fur stick out all over at odd angles, causing Jack to nearly fall on the floor laughing. Ianto stomped past him, headed for the bedroom, and taking with him the hairdryer that he used on the girls so that they didn't catch cold from wet hair.

He managed to dry off eventually, but now he was just a giant ball of fluff, going from one humiliation to another. The girls however delighted in his situation, offering to brush out his fur, the way they would have the hair for their dolls. They reached all the spots he couldn't, but he winced often as their tiny hands indelicately tugged at knots in his fur. But for the tangles, it might have been quite an enjoyable experience, but at least the girls were having fun. Even Tom wanted a go, not wanting to be left out.

When bedtime finally came, Jack relegated him to the sofa, unable to stand the thought of sneezing all night long.

'I love you, but, well, look at you. We can't even be in the same room,' Jack replied, reluctantly holding out the pillow and blanket.

'It's fine,' Ianto sighed. 'Not your fault.' It was someone's, but he just couldn't figure out whose.

 

The weekend came and went, stretching out into Monday, then Tuesday, and still there seemed to be no solution for Ianto's furry condition.

Early on the morning of the Wednesday, there was a minor rift alert. They didn't have to undertake it themselves,  but it wasn't far from their house, and the kids would sleep right through. They'd be back in time for hard boiled eggs and toast soldiers before the morning school run. Leaving them on their own wasn't common or preferred, but it was only an hour, and they wouldn't be more than a block or two from home. Ianto had the mobile cameras in their house connected to their phones, so that they could see what was happening, even if they weren't there. For now, three little bodies were sleeping peacefully.

 

Outside it was still quite dark, the first glimmers of light only just beginning to force their way through thick cloud and even thicker fog. It had been the coldest Cardiff winter in living memory, and the snow was falling gently down, having spent all night piling up in thick drifts. Jack pulled his collar up high and then buttoned up his coat, tugging a scarf on for good measure and burying his hands deep in his pockets. When he got out of the car he nearly cried out at the sudden cold gust the ate right through his clothes. Ianto was wearing nothing but his furry pink coat, completely immune to the cold.

'I've never seen anyone look so miserable and smug all at the same time,' Jack noted, a huge cloud of breath forming as he spoke.

Ianto didn't reply. Umpteen nights on the sofa had done nothing for his neck and back, but he was quietly pleased at the warmth of his fur, given the conditions. Perhaps if it hadn't been pink he could have lived with it. As it was, he almost preferred to be freezing cold than furry, even if the demand for cuddles had never been greater. Having a furry dad was definitely a novelty in their books at least.

Traipsing the streets, following the signal of their latest object, Ianto could feel the snow settling on the fine tips of his fur. Later it would melt, and he'd have to dry and brush himself all over again. He was beginning to understand why his sister had always refused to buy his niece and nephew a dog. Looking after something furry was hard work.

With their object finally found, an image disk, that Ianto could look forward to inspecting later, always fascinated by historical records from other worlds, they bundled themselves back into the SUV, looking forward to a hot shower at home. It was the one thing they could still do together without setting off Jack's allergies, and they were both making the  most of it.

On the way home, Ianto made the observation that Jack hadn't sneezed once.

'Maybe you're becoming immune to me,' he suggested.

Jack grinned. 'Never,' he teased. 'Probably just the cold and the damp.' A million years could go by and Ianto would still make him go weak at the knees.

 

Later that evening, Sian was helping to brush out Ianto's fur after a long day at work. The girls had gotten better at it as the days wore on, becoming gentler at teasing out stubborn tangles. He could get used to this, if God forbid, he really had to.

Sian gave out a panicked shriek and Ianto twirled around to see what was wrong. The tiny brush in her hand had a huge clump of pink fur attached, and when he spied his shoulder in the mirror, there was a slightly bald patch just where she'd been brushing.

Tears were welling up and spilling over her cheeks. 'I'm sorry, Daddy... I... I didn't... mean to...' she sobbed.

He pulled her into a hug and made gentle shushing noises, as Jack appeared in the doorway, having hear the cry.

'It's okay, sweetheart,' Ianto crooned, 'it was just an accident. It'll grow back.'

When she finally stopped sobbing, he put her to bed, along with the others and went back to the bedroom to inspect the patch, taking up the paddle brush and finishing brushing. As he did, more clumps of fur came away with the brush, and a great whooping sneeze came from down the hall.

Achoo!

Ignoring Jack's sneezes, Ianto continued to brush, the fur gently coming away, revealing his own skin from underneath, even the soft brown hair that he'd had before, hidden away under the dense pink.

'What, are you moulting or something?' Jack asked, holding a sodden tissue to his nose, watching Ianto.

'Looks like it,' Ianto replied, ignoring for the moment the huge piles of pink hair collecting on the bed and the carpet, and floating in the air. 'Help me with my back?' he asked.

'The things I do for love,' Jack sighed, retrieving a handkerchief from the drawer and tying it over his face, before beginning the task of brushing Ianto down. Ianto lay there and let Jack brush, and brush, and brush, letting out soft little moans of contentment.

'Stop making noises, Ianto, or I'm going to have to take you right here and now.'

Apart for the odd hand job in the shower, they'd been otherwise celebate for nearly two weeks and the strain of it was taking its toll on Jack. Ianto forced himself to enjoy the sensations in silence, almost drifting off to sleep as he lay there.

'This must be what its like to be a cat in someone's lap,' Ianto said, almost purring the words out.

'Yeah,' Jack agreed, 'lazy, hairy, and smelly,' he moaned.

'I don't smell,' Ianto huffed.

Jack chuckled. 'And here I was thinking you'd take offense to the lazy part.'

Jack managed to brush out most of the fur, leaving just a few wisps that made Ianto look more bedraggled than bald, but they wouldn't come out, and he didn't want to brush Ianto's skin anymore, already looking a little red and sore.

'Should fall out on its own, you'd think, if the rest already has,' he said.

Ianto took a quick shower, lathering his dried skin with aloe vera, before wrapping himself up in flannel pajamas, and vacuuming their bedroom from top to bottom, not stopping until every pink strand was gone. No doubt he'd have to do it again tomorrow, but at least for tonight Jack should be able to get some sleep without drowning in his own mucus. He brought the packet of antihistamines back from the bathroom with him and gave Jack a handful.

'Thanks.'

'See you in the morning, then,' Ianto said, headed for the door, looking forward to some sleep now that it was very late.

'Hang on,' Jack said grabbing his arm and tugging him back. 'I think you've suffered enough for one night.'

'I'm allowed to stay here?'

'I never sleep right when you're not there beside me,' Jack confessed.

'Me either. And our sofa isn't nearly as comfortable for long term residence as it looks.'

Jack snuggled them both under the covers, relishing the warmth, and the feeling of having his lover back in his arms where he belonged.

'You know,' Ianto said, 'the irony of it all is that we don't know why it happened and how to prevent it happening again.'

'No,' Jack corrected him, 'the irony is that the kids are going to be really disappointed not to have a furry dad anymore.'

'Kind of lucky in a way. Parent teacher interviews are next week, and I always feel like it's the teachers grading us rather than our kids. If we turned up like that next week I think they'd give us an F.'

'As in F for furry?'