Anythingdrabble Challenge 101 - One smooth talker

[m_findlow]

Title: One smooth talker
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Kathy Swanson, Ianto
Word Count: 500 words
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for Challenge 101 - Smooth at anythingdrabble
Summary: Detective Swanson wishes she knew how it is that Torchwood get whatever they want.

Kathy Swanson heaved out a vexed breath as she handed over the evidence bag. She wanted to add the words bloody Torchwood but decided that it wasn't going to make her feel any better.

'That's the fourth case this month I've had to hand over to you people,' she observed. 'My DCI ripped me a new one this morning before approving the release of this.'

Ianto gave her a sympathetic expression, taking the bag and pocketing it. 'Sorry. But trust me, you really didn't want to find out where this evidence would lead you. Even I'm not thrilled at having to take this on.'

'Sadly I believe you. What does that say?'

Ianto shrugged. 'That my job sucks more than yours?'

'Debatable,' she replied.

'Can I at least buy you coffee and a pastry? Apology for you getting chewed out by your boss.'

'Yeah, alright.' She wasn't going to look a gift horse. It really was the least they could do.

She lead him downstairs to the café where he promptly bought them matching coffee and muffins. 'I don't know how your boss does it,' Kathy said, tearing off the top of a packet of sugar and dumping in her coffee before swirling it around with the stick. 'He gets away with murder around here, knicking evidence. Hell, he's even taken suspects. No one else would ever get away with that.'

'Oh, I wouldn't say that,' Ianto replied. I never have a problem. 'Someone has to audit your evidence locker every few months.'

'There's a difference. You're at least polite about it. It's prearranged for a start. By the time any of the brass remember they signed off on it two weeks ago they've long forgotten their ire about letting Torchwood trample all over them.'

He grinned over his coffee. 'And here I was thinking it was just my natural charm.'

Kathy laughed at that. 'Sorry to disappoint you. It's that Captain of yours who wins that trophy. I have no idea how anyone can so so bloody obnoxious and yet such a smooth talker. He manages to win over everyone with that fake smile of his.'

'Oh, it's not fake. He genuinely likes flattering people.'

'You and I must be the only people completely immune to it.'

'I wouldn't say that either.'

'What do you mean?'

'Well, I mean, Jack and I... we're...'

'Shut up. You are not. She shook her head. How did I not see this? I'm a bloody police detective! Seriously, though?'

Ianto nodded. 'Seriously. No one has been more sucked in than me, but I do have my own defence against it.'

'Anything you want to share? Can it be taught to others?'

He chuckled. 'The trick is simply to remember that for every slick move, every flattering compliment, every film star smile, that Jack is equally capable of saying or doing something so completely and utterly idiotic that you wonder how on earth you ever thought he was in control in the first place.'