Challenge 682 - Misleading

[m_findlow]

Title: Misleading
Character: Owen, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 200 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 682 - True/Truth at tw100
Summary: Owen thinks he has the interview process down pat. A double drabble.


Owen glanced up from his clipboard, running through Torchwood's standard checklist of questions for new visitors. He knew it almost by heart, but Ianto made him write it all down regardless, so he might as well follow it. He'd only have to go back and fill out what was missing if he forgot something anyway. And he couldn't be bothered waiting for Jack to turn up. This information collection stuff was a piece of piss. Any idiot could do it.

'How old are you in terms of solar cycles?'

'Five hundred and sixteen.'

'And what is your daily caloric intake?'

The alien swung its legs on the chair, far shorter than Owen. 'Six thousand and ten,' it answered. Owen raised an eyebrow, surprised by the unusual response, but wrote it down anyway.

'Do you associate with a male or female gender assignation?'

'Female.'

'Don't believe a word it says, Owen,' Jack called out, striding towards them.

'Why not?'

'Because they're perennial liars. All Harpronnoi are. It's like their national pastime. They wouldn't know how to tell the truth if their lives depended on it. Would you?' he asked, addressing the alien.

'Yes!' it chirped, grinning mischievously.

'See what I mean?'