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m_findlowTitle: Read up, me hearties, yo ho!
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: none
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Summary: A raid in the middle of the night brings surprising guests aboard who are interested only in one thing.
There was a bang and a crash that woke Jack and Ianto from sleep. The ship lurched heavily to one side, throwing them from their bed, falling in a tangled heap against the wall as their ship continued to corkscrew from the inertia of that first hit.
'What the hell?' Jack cried out, scrabbling to get a hold of his lover before the bed slid towards them and crushed them both. The ship stopped its sudden keeling and righted itself, tossing them back in the other direction, still a mess of arms as legs as they clung for anything solid, including each other.
'You okay?' Jack asked.
Ianto touched his head, checking for lumps. 'I think so. What just happened?' he asked, his head still spinning like a tumble dryer even though the ship was no longer moving.
Jack pulled himself to his feet then offered a hand to help Ianto up. 'Let's go find out.'
Jack didn't wait for them to make it all the way to the bridge. Even as they power walked, still in their pajamas, he was consulting his wrist strap, being the closest computer to hand, and frowned at the display it was giving him. 'We've been locked into someone's transmat beam,' he reported. 'The ship is being dragged back through space inside their beam. That was the jolt we felt.'
Ianto kept pace with Jack's long, purposeful strides. 'I thought things like that couldn't happen.' You couldn't just use a transmat beam to connect to another ship without the appropriate protocols and authorities. It would be like being able to unlock someone else's car with your own keys. And you most definitely couldn't snag a whole ship inside a beam and take it with you. That was grand theft auto on an intergalactic scale.
'Oh, that's not good,' Jack muttered, still monitoring the tiny screen as they entered onto the bridge.
Ianto slid into one of the two main flight chairs, readying himself for instructions. 'I gathered,' he said as he tried to run diagnostics, but his eye was instead drawn to the large hulking craft that lay just off their starboard side, seemingly pulling them along on an invisible leash.
'Whatever you do, just don't let them get on board. Activate whatever shielding you can.'
Ianto tried to raise shields and seal the outer airlock but the controls were being overridden and ignored his commands. 'Who the hell are they?'
'Space pirates. They pick up junk across the universe and sell it at a profit.'
'But we're not junk! I take back every complaint I ever had about this ship. It's totally fine.'
'I'm not the one you need to convince.' Jack stopped talking and concentrated on his wrist strap, pressing buttons and brow furrowing in concentration as he did.
'What are you doing?'
'Raising a flag of sorts. Sending them a data stream to tell them who we are in case this is all just some huge mistake.'
'It had better be a bloody mistake!' They were Shadow Proclamation Liaisons. Messing with them was a really bad idea given their status. He waited for what felt like an eternity, waiting for a reply and, hopefully, an apology.
Jack sighed. 'It's no use. I can't shake them off and they're not responding to my data stream. All our controls are dead.'
'So, what do we do now?'
'Wait to be boarded. They'll want to inspect the ship, see what they can salvage.'
'Well, that's just great.' Ianto stood up and made to leave.
'Where are you going?'
'To get dressed and get my gun. If they want a welcoming committee, they're going to get one.'
They waited by the airlock, dressed and armed. It was strange. They'd never had to defend their ship before, least not without being able to control any of its systems. It didn't have weapons, and only their personal firearms were stored in case of emergencies. They held them aloft now, ready to pick off their assailants. The airlock opened and six burly men appeared, also holding large weapons. The largest of them stood in the middle, all unruly black hair and huge beard.
'Drop the guns, me hearties. I hate to have to shoot. Makes such a mess.'
It was six on two. Not the worst odds they'd ever faced, but in close quarters and everybody holding nasty looking guns there was only one outcome. Jack didn't want their dead bodies discharged out through the airlock, only to revive in the vacuum of space, trapped and drifting in a never-ending cycle of dying and coming back. Jack relented and Ianto reluctantly mirrored his actions.
'Yar!' the pirate cried as his crew gathered the two guns.
'Oh, God,' Ianto groaned. 'When you said space pirates I didn't think you meant actual peg-legged, "shiver me timbers" type pirates.'
Jack shrugged. 'The universe takes all kinds. What do you want?' he demanded to know.
'Our scans indicate ye've got a very nice collection of books. We'd like those.'
Jack raised an eyebrow. 'Books?'
'Tis a long wait between raids. Got to keep the men entertained. We're nothing if not edumecated.'
'Yet still grammatically challenged,' Ianto muttered under his breath.
Jack ignored the comment. 'Library's this way. You know who we are and that this ship is under diplomatic immunity, so take what you want and leave.'
Jack led them to the library, a room they'd dedicated solely to the indulgence of reading, and which was packed with books from all over the galaxy.
The pirates made quick work of raiding the shelves, not being fussy and just tipping them all into sacks, carrying them back and forth as Jack and Ianto were forced to stand and watch.
'That's a first edition Llewellyn!' Ianto hissed at Jack, watching their beloved collection disappearing.
'Shush! Better the books than our whole ship.'
Within an hour, every shelf was stripped bare.
The pirate king bowed and doffed his hat. 'We thank ye for yer custom.'
There was a bang and a crash that woke Jack and Ianto from sleep. The ship lurched heavily to one side, throwing them from their bed, falling in a tangled heap against the wall as their ship continued to corkscrew from the inertia of that first hit.
'What the hell?' Jack cried out, scrabbling to get a hold of his lover before the bed slid towards them and crushed them both. The ship stopped its sudden keeling and righted itself, tossing them back in the other direction, still a mess of arms as legs as they clung for anything solid, including each other.
'You okay?' Jack asked.
Ianto touched his head, checking for lumps. 'I think so. What just happened?' he asked, his head still spinning like a tumble dryer even though the ship was no longer moving.
Jack pulled himself to his feet then offered a hand to help Ianto up. 'Let's go find out.'
Jack didn't wait for them to make it all the way to the bridge. Even as they power walked, still in their pajamas, he was consulting his wrist strap, being the closest computer to hand, and frowned at the display it was giving him. 'We've been locked into someone's transmat beam,' he reported. 'The ship is being dragged back through space inside their beam. That was the jolt we felt.'
Ianto kept pace with Jack's long, purposeful strides. 'I thought things like that couldn't happen.' You couldn't just use a transmat beam to connect to another ship without the appropriate protocols and authorities. It would be like being able to unlock someone else's car with your own keys. And you most definitely couldn't snag a whole ship inside a beam and take it with you. That was grand theft auto on an intergalactic scale.
'Oh, that's not good,' Jack muttered, still monitoring the tiny screen as they entered onto the bridge.
Ianto slid into one of the two main flight chairs, readying himself for instructions. 'I gathered,' he said as he tried to run diagnostics, but his eye was instead drawn to the large hulking craft that lay just off their starboard side, seemingly pulling them along on an invisible leash.
'Whatever you do, just don't let them get on board. Activate whatever shielding you can.'
Ianto tried to raise shields and seal the outer airlock but the controls were being overridden and ignored his commands. 'Who the hell are they?'
'Space pirates. They pick up junk across the universe and sell it at a profit.'
'But we're not junk! I take back every complaint I ever had about this ship. It's totally fine.'
'I'm not the one you need to convince.' Jack stopped talking and concentrated on his wrist strap, pressing buttons and brow furrowing in concentration as he did.
'What are you doing?'
'Raising a flag of sorts. Sending them a data stream to tell them who we are in case this is all just some huge mistake.'
'It had better be a bloody mistake!' They were Shadow Proclamation Liaisons. Messing with them was a really bad idea given their status. He waited for what felt like an eternity, waiting for a reply and, hopefully, an apology.
Jack sighed. 'It's no use. I can't shake them off and they're not responding to my data stream. All our controls are dead.'
'So, what do we do now?'
'Wait to be boarded. They'll want to inspect the ship, see what they can salvage.'
'Well, that's just great.' Ianto stood up and made to leave.
'Where are you going?'
'To get dressed and get my gun. If they want a welcoming committee, they're going to get one.'
They waited by the airlock, dressed and armed. It was strange. They'd never had to defend their ship before, least not without being able to control any of its systems. It didn't have weapons, and only their personal firearms were stored in case of emergencies. They held them aloft now, ready to pick off their assailants. The airlock opened and six burly men appeared, also holding large weapons. The largest of them stood in the middle, all unruly black hair and huge beard.
'Drop the guns, me hearties. I hate to have to shoot. Makes such a mess.'
It was six on two. Not the worst odds they'd ever faced, but in close quarters and everybody holding nasty looking guns there was only one outcome. Jack didn't want their dead bodies discharged out through the airlock, only to revive in the vacuum of space, trapped and drifting in a never-ending cycle of dying and coming back. Jack relented and Ianto reluctantly mirrored his actions.
'Yar!' the pirate cried as his crew gathered the two guns.
'Oh, God,' Ianto groaned. 'When you said space pirates I didn't think you meant actual peg-legged, "shiver me timbers" type pirates.'
Jack shrugged. 'The universe takes all kinds. What do you want?' he demanded to know.
'Our scans indicate ye've got a very nice collection of books. We'd like those.'
Jack raised an eyebrow. 'Books?'
'Tis a long wait between raids. Got to keep the men entertained. We're nothing if not edumecated.'
'Yet still grammatically challenged,' Ianto muttered under his breath.
Jack ignored the comment. 'Library's this way. You know who we are and that this ship is under diplomatic immunity, so take what you want and leave.'
Jack led them to the library, a room they'd dedicated solely to the indulgence of reading, and which was packed with books from all over the galaxy.
The pirates made quick work of raiding the shelves, not being fussy and just tipping them all into sacks, carrying them back and forth as Jack and Ianto were forced to stand and watch.
'That's a first edition Llewellyn!' Ianto hissed at Jack, watching their beloved collection disappearing.
'Shush! Better the books than our whole ship.'
Within an hour, every shelf was stripped bare.
The pirate king bowed and doffed his hat. 'We thank ye for yer custom.'
