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m_findlowTitle: Trick or treat
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: none.
Author notes: Written for Challenge 111 - Pumpkin patch at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomweekly
fandomweeklySummary: Jack and Ianto's pumpkin gathering adventure leaves Jack feeling disappointed.
'There goes another Tesco,' Jack said, watching the huge supermarket chain store drift by his passenger side window. He'd never noticed just how many supermarkets this city had until someone drove past them all, ignoring them each in turn. 'I think I'm up to five now. Six if you include that mini-mart on the corner of Bute Street.'
'Shush,' Ianto told him, sitting calmly behind the wheel, not letting Jack's jibes get the better of him. 'I told you we're not going to the supermarket.'
Jack slumped further down into the leather seat. He might have been overjoyed by that news once upon a time but he now found going grocery shopping with Ianto an experience in the weird and wonderful world of manufactured convenience food. Those crazy people kept coming up with the wackiest things, mostly high carb, high sugar, and Jack was keen to try them out. Even if there was nothing in the new and improved category, he could always sneak a few packets of chocolate-coated biscuits into the trolley without much argument.
'It's a pumpkin, Ianto,' Jack reminded him. The supermarkets would be overbrimming with the large orange vegetables in the lead up to Halloween. There was no need to go further than a mile from their house to get one.
'It's not just a pumpkin,' Ianto insisted. 'If it was just us celebrating that'd be different but Rhiannon has the kids staying the night with us. We should be making an effort.'
Jack thought they were. He already had their trick or treat costumes booked. He couldn't wait to see Ianto in his stuffing-filled pants and striped top, trying to carry off a rotund Pugsley Addams to his Lurch. 'Where is this place anyway?'
For the first time all afternoon Ianto looked slightly less confident. 'It's not exactly a place. They just sort of pop up somewhere on the side of the road. Pretty much anywhere between here and Abergavenny.'
'Great. Makes it easy to find.'
'They're farmers Jack. When they get a good crop they truck it out to the main road and leave it there for people to buy.'
'A bit of advertising and signage wouldn't go astray.'
'It's pumpkin season. Everybody knows that. What more do you want? Just enjoy the nice pleasant drive out to the countryside.'
After miles and miles of rolling green hills, Jack finally spotted the colourful cluster by the side of the road. It stuck out like a sore thumb after nothing but muted greens and greys. They pulled over and got out of the car, inspecting the offering. Jack thought they looked ugly compared to those nice traditional pumpkins he'd seen in shops that were perfectly shaped with smooth skin. These ones were all odd shapes, more gourds than pumpkins, and not just orange, but bright yellow and mottled green and ghostly white, grey and black, striped and spotted and multicoloured. They were rough on the outside with lots of gnarly bits and strange growths and looked more like they'd lived under the ocean with barnacles attached to them.
Naturally, Ianto chose the biggest, most ugly one of all, with huge bobbly bits and skin that looked like it'd take a chainsaw to cut through. It didn't need a face though. It looked scary enough without one with its orange and dark green speckled stripes and covered in warts. 'What do you think?' Ianto asked.
Jack frowned. 'It's horrible.'
'That's what I thought. Just perfect.' He weighed it and paid for it, slipping the twenty pound note into the locked box without worrying about change. He opened the door and settled it carefully on the back seat. Jack didn't want to say so but it felt like a wasted trip. He might buy a proper one tomorrow if they still had any left at the shops. No point in his niece and nephew being disappointed.
Halfway back to Cardiff, Ianto's phone rang. It was the mayor, demanding an urgent meeting that simply couldn't wait. It had to be tonight.
Ianto sighed. 'I'll drop you off at the hub and keep going,' he told Jack as they entered the city limits. He swung around Bute Street and dropped Jack off at the top of the Millennium Centre by the water tower. 'I'll pick you up as soon as I'm done. Take the pumpkin with you.'
'Do I have to?'
'I don't want to leave it in the back when I'm parked out in the street. Someone might try to break in and steal it.'
We should be so lucky, Jack thought to himself, reluctantly gathering it up. Ianto drove off and Jack took the lift, carrying their newest addition into the hub and setting it on the desk opposite his, atop a pile of discarded books. He sat at his desk and decided to knock a few things off his to-do list while he waited. A few hours of peace and solitude would be good, and he barely noticed the time flying by.
Closing off the last file on his desk he sighed with relief and then his gaze drifted across the room. 'Don't look at me like that,' Jack scolded. 'I didn't pick you. You're the ugliest damn pumpkin I've ever seen. If David and Mica have nightmares I'm blaming you.'
He turned away from it and went back to his reports.
Mua ha ha ha ha! A deep rumbling laugh came from nowhere and everywhere at once.
Jack looked around, certain he must have imagined it. Just your mind playing tricks on you, which it sometimes did when he was alone in the hub.
Mua ha ha ha ha… It came again, not as loud but doubly creepy.
'Who's there? Ianto, is that you because it's not funny.'
Jack looked directly at the pumpkin and he could swear it was looking straight back at him.
'I'm coming to carve you up for Halloween, Jack,' the rumbling voice told him.
Jack bolted from his desk. 'Ianto!'
'There goes another Tesco,' Jack said, watching the huge supermarket chain store drift by his passenger side window. He'd never noticed just how many supermarkets this city had until someone drove past them all, ignoring them each in turn. 'I think I'm up to five now. Six if you include that mini-mart on the corner of Bute Street.'
'Shush,' Ianto told him, sitting calmly behind the wheel, not letting Jack's jibes get the better of him. 'I told you we're not going to the supermarket.'
Jack slumped further down into the leather seat. He might have been overjoyed by that news once upon a time but he now found going grocery shopping with Ianto an experience in the weird and wonderful world of manufactured convenience food. Those crazy people kept coming up with the wackiest things, mostly high carb, high sugar, and Jack was keen to try them out. Even if there was nothing in the new and improved category, he could always sneak a few packets of chocolate-coated biscuits into the trolley without much argument.
'It's a pumpkin, Ianto,' Jack reminded him. The supermarkets would be overbrimming with the large orange vegetables in the lead up to Halloween. There was no need to go further than a mile from their house to get one.
'It's not just a pumpkin,' Ianto insisted. 'If it was just us celebrating that'd be different but Rhiannon has the kids staying the night with us. We should be making an effort.'
Jack thought they were. He already had their trick or treat costumes booked. He couldn't wait to see Ianto in his stuffing-filled pants and striped top, trying to carry off a rotund Pugsley Addams to his Lurch. 'Where is this place anyway?'
For the first time all afternoon Ianto looked slightly less confident. 'It's not exactly a place. They just sort of pop up somewhere on the side of the road. Pretty much anywhere between here and Abergavenny.'
'Great. Makes it easy to find.'
'They're farmers Jack. When they get a good crop they truck it out to the main road and leave it there for people to buy.'
'A bit of advertising and signage wouldn't go astray.'
'It's pumpkin season. Everybody knows that. What more do you want? Just enjoy the nice pleasant drive out to the countryside.'
After miles and miles of rolling green hills, Jack finally spotted the colourful cluster by the side of the road. It stuck out like a sore thumb after nothing but muted greens and greys. They pulled over and got out of the car, inspecting the offering. Jack thought they looked ugly compared to those nice traditional pumpkins he'd seen in shops that were perfectly shaped with smooth skin. These ones were all odd shapes, more gourds than pumpkins, and not just orange, but bright yellow and mottled green and ghostly white, grey and black, striped and spotted and multicoloured. They were rough on the outside with lots of gnarly bits and strange growths and looked more like they'd lived under the ocean with barnacles attached to them.
Naturally, Ianto chose the biggest, most ugly one of all, with huge bobbly bits and skin that looked like it'd take a chainsaw to cut through. It didn't need a face though. It looked scary enough without one with its orange and dark green speckled stripes and covered in warts. 'What do you think?' Ianto asked.
Jack frowned. 'It's horrible.'
'That's what I thought. Just perfect.' He weighed it and paid for it, slipping the twenty pound note into the locked box without worrying about change. He opened the door and settled it carefully on the back seat. Jack didn't want to say so but it felt like a wasted trip. He might buy a proper one tomorrow if they still had any left at the shops. No point in his niece and nephew being disappointed.
Halfway back to Cardiff, Ianto's phone rang. It was the mayor, demanding an urgent meeting that simply couldn't wait. It had to be tonight.
Ianto sighed. 'I'll drop you off at the hub and keep going,' he told Jack as they entered the city limits. He swung around Bute Street and dropped Jack off at the top of the Millennium Centre by the water tower. 'I'll pick you up as soon as I'm done. Take the pumpkin with you.'
'Do I have to?'
'I don't want to leave it in the back when I'm parked out in the street. Someone might try to break in and steal it.'
We should be so lucky, Jack thought to himself, reluctantly gathering it up. Ianto drove off and Jack took the lift, carrying their newest addition into the hub and setting it on the desk opposite his, atop a pile of discarded books. He sat at his desk and decided to knock a few things off his to-do list while he waited. A few hours of peace and solitude would be good, and he barely noticed the time flying by.
Closing off the last file on his desk he sighed with relief and then his gaze drifted across the room. 'Don't look at me like that,' Jack scolded. 'I didn't pick you. You're the ugliest damn pumpkin I've ever seen. If David and Mica have nightmares I'm blaming you.'
He turned away from it and went back to his reports.
Mua ha ha ha ha! A deep rumbling laugh came from nowhere and everywhere at once.
Jack looked around, certain he must have imagined it. Just your mind playing tricks on you, which it sometimes did when he was alone in the hub.
Mua ha ha ha ha… It came again, not as loud but doubly creepy.
'Who's there? Ianto, is that you because it's not funny.'
Jack looked directly at the pumpkin and he could swear it was looking straight back at him.
'I'm coming to carve you up for Halloween, Jack,' the rumbling voice told him.
Jack bolted from his desk. 'Ianto!'
