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m_findlowTitle: Hearts beating as one
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG.
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: contains m-preg
Author notes: Written for Challenge 119 - Heartbeat at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomweekly
fandomweeklySummary: Jack discovers something amazing.
Ianto was enjoying a lazy lie in on a Sunday morning. Lie ins were particularly enjoyable since they were the one position in which his heavily pregnant belly wasn't getting in the way or causing discomfort. Begrudgingly, he knew his days of running Torchwood were coming to a temporary end, even if Jack had been nagging him for weeks to step down and take it easy.
Jack was lying across him, rubbing slow circles into the pronounced roundness, and using it as some kind of pillow. Ianto had been reticent about being touched for quite some time, but now he was enjoying it.
Jack had been silent for a long while before finally speaking. 'I've never been a good father,' he said, mumbling the words into Ianto's belly.
'Don't say things like that,' Ianto scolded him. 'It's not true.'
'It is. I always thought that things would be different with Alice. Lucia and I were so much in love. She had that fiery Italian blood running through her veins. We lived dangerously, loved passionately, and when she said she was pregnant I was over the moon. I thought this time it'd stick. A chance for us to be a real family.'
Jack rarely talked about his life connected to Alice. It was a permanent black scar on his life that wouldn't budge, and no amount of time helped it to heal. Ianto tested his luck. 'What happened?'
Jack let out a mirthful sound. 'What do you think? Torchwood happened. It always came first. That was my fault. I let it come first, always. It didn't take long for Lucia to see straight through me and realise I was never going to be the father our daughter needed. And I never was.' He let out a deep sigh. 'There were others, too. Most I never knew. But it always ended the same.'
Ianto let his fingers drift through Jack's hair. 'It was different back then. You were holding yourself for your Doctor. You knew that if you strayed too far from Torchwood you might miss him and never get the answers you needed.'
'For all the good it did. Immortal forever and nothing will change that.'
'It mattered,' Ianto emphasised. 'Because now you're not alone. The TARDIS made sure that you'd always have someone there by your side. We were meant to be together, and I'm not walking out on you, no matter what. You matter, and these babies matter. They're going to need both of us. The TARDIS made me immortal for a reason, and no doubt she had her reasons for making this pregnancy possible as well. She can see the whole future of everything in the universe, so she knows better than us.'
Jack rubbed a hand over Ianto's belly. 'I hate how you're always right.'
'Well, get used to it. You've got the entirety of time to live with it.'
Jack smiled and leaned closer, pressing his ear right in against his bump.
'What are you doing?'
'Listening to them. Checking they're okay. They could be gossiping in there about us for all we know.'
Ianto rolled his eyes. 'I don't know about gossip, but there's definitely some kicking.' He rubbed his side, trying to soothe the squirming life inside him.
'Oh, yeah, there is too,' Jack said, feeling the tiny jolt against his cheek. 'No kicking Daddy.' He lifted his head back up and leaned over the side of the bed, pulling something out of his drawer. He lifted it up and set it against Ianto's body.
'Is that a foetal monitor stolen from work?' Ianto asked as Jack was strapping it gently around him and calibrating it.
Jack made a concessionary grunt. 'Maybe. Not like anyone else needed it. I won't tell the doc if you don't.'
'Stealing company equipment,' Ianto mused. 'The boss will have to have words with you.'
'I'm free for a spanking if you are,' Jack teased, a smile playing over his face as he considered Ianto's idea of discipline.
Jack frowned for a moment and Ianto felt a flutter of panic. Who knew he'd be this paranoid about being pregnant? How on earth did women cope with the permanent state of worry and fear? 'What?'
Jack gave him a reassuring look. 'No, it's okay. Just for a second I thought there was only one heartbeat. But it's fine,' he quickly added, seeing Ianto go pale with worry. 'I just misread the output. Definitely three little heartbeats. Everyone safe and healthy.'
'How could you misinterpret something like that?'
Jack frowned again and shushed him, before leaning his ear back down against Ianto's torso. 'Well, I never,' he murmured.
'What?' Ianto was getting worked up now.
Jack took his hands and placed one against his chest and the other against Ianto's own chest. 'Feel that?'
'Yes, Jack. I know all about our soul bonding,' that strange ceremony that bonded two people in the most intimate way possible. It was a strange thing to share such an intimate physical link with another person, able to sense their emotions and physical sensations like pleasure and pain. An unusual consequence of the bonding was that their hearts, when resting, beat in perfect unison.
Jack turned up the foetal monitor. 'Listen, can you hear it?' His blue eyes gazed intently into Ianto's until the same realisation that Jack had already come to, reached Ianto as well.
'Oh, my God. It's not possible.' He knew it wasn't because babies' hearts beat a lot faster than adults, yet he couldn't deny what he was hearing, connected to what he was feeling - his and Jack's hearts beating out a steady rhythm in time with the foetal monitor.
'Five hearts beating as one,' Jack said, beaming with adoration.
Ianto took his hand away from his chest and used it to wrap around Jack's neck, pulling him down for a kiss, long and slow. 'Still think you're not meant to be a father?'
'I think even I can take a hint.'
Ianto was enjoying a lazy lie in on a Sunday morning. Lie ins were particularly enjoyable since they were the one position in which his heavily pregnant belly wasn't getting in the way or causing discomfort. Begrudgingly, he knew his days of running Torchwood were coming to a temporary end, even if Jack had been nagging him for weeks to step down and take it easy.
Jack was lying across him, rubbing slow circles into the pronounced roundness, and using it as some kind of pillow. Ianto had been reticent about being touched for quite some time, but now he was enjoying it.
Jack had been silent for a long while before finally speaking. 'I've never been a good father,' he said, mumbling the words into Ianto's belly.
'Don't say things like that,' Ianto scolded him. 'It's not true.'
'It is. I always thought that things would be different with Alice. Lucia and I were so much in love. She had that fiery Italian blood running through her veins. We lived dangerously, loved passionately, and when she said she was pregnant I was over the moon. I thought this time it'd stick. A chance for us to be a real family.'
Jack rarely talked about his life connected to Alice. It was a permanent black scar on his life that wouldn't budge, and no amount of time helped it to heal. Ianto tested his luck. 'What happened?'
Jack let out a mirthful sound. 'What do you think? Torchwood happened. It always came first. That was my fault. I let it come first, always. It didn't take long for Lucia to see straight through me and realise I was never going to be the father our daughter needed. And I never was.' He let out a deep sigh. 'There were others, too. Most I never knew. But it always ended the same.'
Ianto let his fingers drift through Jack's hair. 'It was different back then. You were holding yourself for your Doctor. You knew that if you strayed too far from Torchwood you might miss him and never get the answers you needed.'
'For all the good it did. Immortal forever and nothing will change that.'
'It mattered,' Ianto emphasised. 'Because now you're not alone. The TARDIS made sure that you'd always have someone there by your side. We were meant to be together, and I'm not walking out on you, no matter what. You matter, and these babies matter. They're going to need both of us. The TARDIS made me immortal for a reason, and no doubt she had her reasons for making this pregnancy possible as well. She can see the whole future of everything in the universe, so she knows better than us.'
Jack rubbed a hand over Ianto's belly. 'I hate how you're always right.'
'Well, get used to it. You've got the entirety of time to live with it.'
Jack smiled and leaned closer, pressing his ear right in against his bump.
'What are you doing?'
'Listening to them. Checking they're okay. They could be gossiping in there about us for all we know.'
Ianto rolled his eyes. 'I don't know about gossip, but there's definitely some kicking.' He rubbed his side, trying to soothe the squirming life inside him.
'Oh, yeah, there is too,' Jack said, feeling the tiny jolt against his cheek. 'No kicking Daddy.' He lifted his head back up and leaned over the side of the bed, pulling something out of his drawer. He lifted it up and set it against Ianto's body.
'Is that a foetal monitor stolen from work?' Ianto asked as Jack was strapping it gently around him and calibrating it.
Jack made a concessionary grunt. 'Maybe. Not like anyone else needed it. I won't tell the doc if you don't.'
'Stealing company equipment,' Ianto mused. 'The boss will have to have words with you.'
'I'm free for a spanking if you are,' Jack teased, a smile playing over his face as he considered Ianto's idea of discipline.
Jack frowned for a moment and Ianto felt a flutter of panic. Who knew he'd be this paranoid about being pregnant? How on earth did women cope with the permanent state of worry and fear? 'What?'
Jack gave him a reassuring look. 'No, it's okay. Just for a second I thought there was only one heartbeat. But it's fine,' he quickly added, seeing Ianto go pale with worry. 'I just misread the output. Definitely three little heartbeats. Everyone safe and healthy.'
'How could you misinterpret something like that?'
Jack frowned again and shushed him, before leaning his ear back down against Ianto's torso. 'Well, I never,' he murmured.
'What?' Ianto was getting worked up now.
Jack took his hands and placed one against his chest and the other against Ianto's own chest. 'Feel that?'
'Yes, Jack. I know all about our soul bonding,' that strange ceremony that bonded two people in the most intimate way possible. It was a strange thing to share such an intimate physical link with another person, able to sense their emotions and physical sensations like pleasure and pain. An unusual consequence of the bonding was that their hearts, when resting, beat in perfect unison.
Jack turned up the foetal monitor. 'Listen, can you hear it?' His blue eyes gazed intently into Ianto's until the same realisation that Jack had already come to, reached Ianto as well.
'Oh, my God. It's not possible.' He knew it wasn't because babies' hearts beat a lot faster than adults, yet he couldn't deny what he was hearing, connected to what he was feeling - his and Jack's hearts beating out a steady rhythm in time with the foetal monitor.
'Five hearts beating as one,' Jack said, beaming with adoration.
Ianto took his hand away from his chest and used it to wrap around Jack's neck, pulling him down for a kiss, long and slow. 'Still think you're not meant to be a father?'
'I think even I can take a hint.'
