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m_findlowTitle: Killer instinct
Fandom: Torchwood
‘Keep up,’ Ianto ordered as he marched down the darkened tunnels, trying to navigate a way to the main castle above him, sparing only the briefest glance over his shoulder at Luke who was muttering nonsense under his breath. Perhaps bringing him along hadn’t been the best idea. If nothing else, he was infected with the virus, but Ianto figured by now he’d definitely contracted it anyway.
He didn't want to kill Jack, but he did. So much. There was something so alluring about the idea of pointing that gun at Jack’s head and pulling the trigger. He’d done it once before but that had been out of necessity, Now he pictured himself doing it out of sheer pleasure. He and Jack had always enjoyed playing games, even the kind that involved a bit of rough and tumble, or even a little bit more than rough. Only Jack could make pain a pleasurable experience.
Now he thought about that same orgasmic feeling arising from causing Jack the kind of pain that he wouldn't enjoy. How much the bullet would rip through his tender flesh, twisting and tearing at the muscle and bone, puncturing vital organs and spilling the precious blood they held within. Last time he’d shot Jack straight through the head; a quick death, even if it had removed most of the back of his skull in doing so. This time he wanted to do it differently. Just below the heart, just tearing at the outer layers of that essential force of life, letting it drain slowly, filling the cavity around it with blood until the pressure from the build-up of internal bleeding would crush the heart itself. He wanted to watch Jack struggle to hold onto life, only to watch it slowly drain away from him until the light in his blue eyes faded to nothing. And the brilliant part of all of it was that Jack would come back. He couldn’t ever die permanently, meaning that Ianto would have the pleasure of killing him again and again and again. It was almost too much to comprehend that he could experience that much joy.
No, he didn’t want to kill Jack, tempting as it was. He didn’t want to fantasise about it, even if it was all his brain wanted him to think about. It was just the virus talking; trying to corrupt his mind from all logical thought. He knew what it was trying to make him do which is why he needed to keep fighting it. He hadn’t been entirely certain before that he was infected but now there could be no doubt. It was just lucky that Jack was far away from him right now. Whilst he’d come to the castle on the auspice of trying to find out what those soldiers had intended to do with Jack's body, he also wanted to make sure that when he did find Jack and reunite with him that he was in complete control of himself.
‘What’s it like when it’s at its worst?’ he asked Luke, hoping that he could get some answers as to just how badly he was infected and what was likely to happen to him.
‘It scratches at you under the skin.’ Luke clawed at his arm involuntarily, trying hard to pierce the skin with his incessant scratching until Ianto's baleful glare made him stop the action. ‘Want to kill. Must kill. Got to kill my wife.’
‘Well, if you could refrain from killing her for just a bit longer,’ Ianto said, feeling better that he at least wasn't a babbling lunatic like Luke. Yet. Jack had experienced all kinds of delusions in stage one of the virus before the loving and killing rampage part had kicked in. Ianto hadn’t felt any impairment on that front, yet he couldn’t deny that little buzz of happiness he’d felt when he’d grabbed for Jack’s gun in their struggle and managed to get off a single round, the bullet hitting Jack in the lower torso, and just enough of a distraction to get away from Jack before he’d finished Ianto off and killed him himself.
Luke was likewise momentarily distracted as his fingers traced the wall. ‘Gold. It’s all gold down here.’
Ianto resisted the urge to roll his eyes. ‘Told you the Marquis of Bute was a bit of a nutter. Even made sure the underground access tunnels were ridiculously adorned in wealth.’
‘Gold,’ Luke muttered. ‘Gold is the colour of our wedding rings. My wife and I promised to love until death do us part.’ He tittered in an unsettling way. ‘Going to kill her. Love her until death do us part.’
Jesus, Ianto thought. Luke was beyond helping. He really was going to kill her if they found her, and Ianto needed answers from her before he did anything of the sort. If she really was in charge of Heights Pharmaceuticals and they really were responsible for this virus then she was no good to him dead.
He winced as he felt the urge to scratch his arm. He could feel it under the skin, just like Luke had said. Wires burrowing under there, telling him that he needed to kill Jack. That you only killed the ones you really truly loved, and he loved Jack so very much. Killing him would be the ultimate demonstration that there was no one he loved more in this world than Jack. Just as Jack loved him and had wanted more than anything to kill him. It was a beautiful symmetry if he stopped to think about it - how two people could love each other so much but never manage to say the words, yet that final act of murder would be such a wondrous declaration.
‘Stop it,’ he muttered under his breath so that Luke wouldn’t hear him. He needed to get a grip on himself. All of Cardiff depended on him getting answers, and a cure for this virus, before anyone else was killed.
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Luke
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: Major spoilers for Big Finish audioplay “Outbreak”
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Summary: Ianto is struggling to keep things straight when he needs a clear head more than ever.
‘Keep up,’ Ianto ordered as he marched down the darkened tunnels, trying to navigate a way to the main castle above him, sparing only the briefest glance over his shoulder at Luke who was muttering nonsense under his breath. Perhaps bringing him along hadn’t been the best idea. If nothing else, he was infected with the virus, but Ianto figured by now he’d definitely contracted it anyway.
He didn't want to kill Jack, but he did. So much. There was something so alluring about the idea of pointing that gun at Jack’s head and pulling the trigger. He’d done it once before but that had been out of necessity, Now he pictured himself doing it out of sheer pleasure. He and Jack had always enjoyed playing games, even the kind that involved a bit of rough and tumble, or even a little bit more than rough. Only Jack could make pain a pleasurable experience.
Now he thought about that same orgasmic feeling arising from causing Jack the kind of pain that he wouldn't enjoy. How much the bullet would rip through his tender flesh, twisting and tearing at the muscle and bone, puncturing vital organs and spilling the precious blood they held within. Last time he’d shot Jack straight through the head; a quick death, even if it had removed most of the back of his skull in doing so. This time he wanted to do it differently. Just below the heart, just tearing at the outer layers of that essential force of life, letting it drain slowly, filling the cavity around it with blood until the pressure from the build-up of internal bleeding would crush the heart itself. He wanted to watch Jack struggle to hold onto life, only to watch it slowly drain away from him until the light in his blue eyes faded to nothing. And the brilliant part of all of it was that Jack would come back. He couldn’t ever die permanently, meaning that Ianto would have the pleasure of killing him again and again and again. It was almost too much to comprehend that he could experience that much joy.
No, he didn’t want to kill Jack, tempting as it was. He didn’t want to fantasise about it, even if it was all his brain wanted him to think about. It was just the virus talking; trying to corrupt his mind from all logical thought. He knew what it was trying to make him do which is why he needed to keep fighting it. He hadn’t been entirely certain before that he was infected but now there could be no doubt. It was just lucky that Jack was far away from him right now. Whilst he’d come to the castle on the auspice of trying to find out what those soldiers had intended to do with Jack's body, he also wanted to make sure that when he did find Jack and reunite with him that he was in complete control of himself.
‘What’s it like when it’s at its worst?’ he asked Luke, hoping that he could get some answers as to just how badly he was infected and what was likely to happen to him.
‘It scratches at you under the skin.’ Luke clawed at his arm involuntarily, trying hard to pierce the skin with his incessant scratching until Ianto's baleful glare made him stop the action. ‘Want to kill. Must kill. Got to kill my wife.’
‘Well, if you could refrain from killing her for just a bit longer,’ Ianto said, feeling better that he at least wasn't a babbling lunatic like Luke. Yet. Jack had experienced all kinds of delusions in stage one of the virus before the loving and killing rampage part had kicked in. Ianto hadn’t felt any impairment on that front, yet he couldn’t deny that little buzz of happiness he’d felt when he’d grabbed for Jack’s gun in their struggle and managed to get off a single round, the bullet hitting Jack in the lower torso, and just enough of a distraction to get away from Jack before he’d finished Ianto off and killed him himself.
Luke was likewise momentarily distracted as his fingers traced the wall. ‘Gold. It’s all gold down here.’
Ianto resisted the urge to roll his eyes. ‘Told you the Marquis of Bute was a bit of a nutter. Even made sure the underground access tunnels were ridiculously adorned in wealth.’
‘Gold,’ Luke muttered. ‘Gold is the colour of our wedding rings. My wife and I promised to love until death do us part.’ He tittered in an unsettling way. ‘Going to kill her. Love her until death do us part.’
Jesus, Ianto thought. Luke was beyond helping. He really was going to kill her if they found her, and Ianto needed answers from her before he did anything of the sort. If she really was in charge of Heights Pharmaceuticals and they really were responsible for this virus then she was no good to him dead.
He winced as he felt the urge to scratch his arm. He could feel it under the skin, just like Luke had said. Wires burrowing under there, telling him that he needed to kill Jack. That you only killed the ones you really truly loved, and he loved Jack so very much. Killing him would be the ultimate demonstration that there was no one he loved more in this world than Jack. Just as Jack loved him and had wanted more than anything to kill him. It was a beautiful symmetry if he stopped to think about it - how two people could love each other so much but never manage to say the words, yet that final act of murder would be such a wondrous declaration.
‘Stop it,’ he muttered under his breath so that Luke wouldn’t hear him. He needed to get a grip on himself. All of Cardiff depended on him getting answers, and a cure for this virus, before anyone else was killed.
