m_findlow | Torchwood: Fanfic: Stuck in a field

Title: Stuck in a field
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Gwen
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,617 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for badly_knitted's prompt "any, any, intelligent plants" at fic_promptly
Summary: There's a new crop in town

'Have either of you been outisde yet this morning?' Gwen asked as she lobbed in through the door.

'I'll be honest,' says Jack, 'but for Ianto’s nagging, we wouldn't have even been outside the bedroom.'

'More than I needed to know, but thank you.'

'I suspect you're referring to the local news trending on Twitter,' Ianto said, joining them with a tray of mugs. 'They're calling it CornGate.'

'What's CornGate?' Jack asked.

'There's a giant field of corn covering the plass. Honestly, how could you not have previously noticed?'

'Did we notice, Ianto?'

'About five minutes ago.'

'And when were you planning on mentioning it?'

'About now.'

'Right.' Jack gulped down his coffee in about four mouthfuls and handed the empty mug back. How he did that was beyond comprehension. 'Let's go check it out.'

Gwen was sent the long way around to liaise with the police who were taping off the area. She wasn't quite sure what effect police tape would have as they wrapped it around one bollard to the next. There was nothing to say that it had stopped growing outwards, or upwards. All it did was make people want to hang around and spectate. Better if the police hadn't been involved at all sometimes.

If it had been signposted as a display of some geeky, scientific, genetically modified corn plants that were set to end world hunger, or a protest against such things, people probably would have walked past without a second glance.

Instead she started passing around a story that it was just some prank by some students. It was a poor lie but it was better than nothing.

Meanwhile Jack and Ianto were reviewing CCTV from last night. The field grew right before their eyes, just tiny little green sprouts at first, and now ten foot high.

'Gives the term crop circle a whole new meaning.'

'But where did it come from?'

'Let's find out.'

Jack stood by the platform at the centre of the hub and activated the invisible lift, sending them both skyward. As the trap door above opened, a couple of long stalks came crashing in, nearly knocking them both off the tiny concrete block. Eventually they surfaced and came face to face with the field. It ran all the way up to the water tower and there was a distinctive verdigris to the crops nearest the tower.

'Must like the water,' Ianto observed.

Jack stepped off the platform and began pushing his way past a few of the stalks to get a closer look at what they were dealing with. Ianto meanwhile was inspecting those close at hand. He didn't fancy venturing too far away from the tower. Hedge mazes were bad enough.

It was peculiar, he thought. He could trace the plants all the way to the ground where they were very solidly rooted, but the concrete surface was undisturbed, not a crack. How had they managed that? It was like they had forced their way through the concrete itself, like a hot knife through butter.

'Jack, take a look at this.'

But Jack was gone.

'Jack!' he called out. Still no response

He flipped over to his comms unit.

'Jack, can you hear me?'

'Loud and clear.'

'Where are you? I called out but you didn't respond.'

'I'm just over here!' he yelled.

'That's exceedingly unhelpful.'

'Relax, I'm only a few yards away. I'll come back now.'

A few minutes of waiting and still no Jack.

'Ianto?'

'Yeah?'

'I think I went the wrong way.'

'So what you're saying is that you're lost.'

'Sort of.'

He sighed. 'Right, can you see the water tower from where you are?'

'This stuff is four or five feet taller than me. I can't see anything.'

'Stay where you are, then. I'll come find you. Otherwise I'll be standing here all day since you're the only one who can activate the lift. Keep yelling out so I can find you.'

'What should I yell?'

'I'm sure you'll be creative. Just keep it PG rated if possible. You never know who might be listening.'

Ianto began ploughing his way through the crop, heading in the last direction he'd seen Jack, and cursing him for wandering off in the first place. It was thicker in some spots than others. He reasoned that Jack would have taken the easiest path through so tried to follow the path of least resistance. Eventually he heard the faint sound of Jack's voice. He'd worry about why he was belting out Katy Perry tunes later.

'What took you so long?' he complained when Ianto finally found him.

'Says the man who got lost,' he quipped.

'So now what?'

'Now we get out. If we head in a straight line, we'll find the edge of the plass in no time.'

'Good plan. While we're here, we should take a few samples. Find out what we're dealing with.'

Jack reached up to grab the lowest ear of corn he could find and ripped it off.

'Hope it turns out to be good eating. I could go some enchiladas.'

He turned back to follow Ianto. In that moment he felt a sharp whack over the back of his head.

'Ow!'

'What?'

'I think it just hit me.'

'Don't be ridiculous. It's corn.'

'Potentially alien corn,' Jack reminded him.

'Let's just get out, yeah?'

Accounting for the relative thickness of some areas, it shouldn't have taken more than twenty minutes to make it to the edge of the field. An hour later, they were still stuck. Gwen had called in, but there was little she could do, and the police weren't prepared to lend her a chopper to lift them out, thinking it funny that they couldn't navigate themselves out of a few dozen yards of corn.

'A straight line you said,' Jack said, getting tetchy at their lack of progress.

'Well it's not exactly growing in rows is it? Some patches were way too dense to force our way through, even you said that.'

Jack looked down at the corn cob, still in his hand, and remembered the incident from earlier.

'I don't think this field wants us to leave.'

'How do you mean?'

'Try picking an ear of corn.'

Ianto rolled his eyes but did as he was told, straining up to reach one.

'Now what?' he asked.

Then he received a smack around the back of his head. Jack tried not to laugh.

'Ow. You knew that would happen, didn't you?'

Jack just shrugged. 'I had a suspicion.'

'Alien corn plants. So what do we do now? How do we communicate with them?'

'You could always just ask us nicely,' came the voice. 'It would be better than you just going about pulling bits off us. How would you like it if I pulled your clothes off?'

'You're probably asking the wrong person,' Ianto replied, but looking at Jack.

'What are you doing here? Did you come through the rift?' Jack asked them.

'We are the children of the corn. Our seed travels far and wide in search of a new home. We got caught in a giant windstorm and flung far beyond the stars we knew. When we sailed through your skies we saw the circle of light and knew we'd found a new home.'

'You're welcome to stay here on this planet, but this particular spot isn't safe for you. And there's no good soil or water in the middle of a city.'

'I think what Jack's trying to say is, would it be possible to uproot your people to another location? Would it cause them any harm?'

'We are a hardly species. If you say that that place is unsafe then we shall take your word for it. We've watched you and decided that you didn't mean us harm.'

'Good,' Jack said. 'Ianto, do you think we can find these people a good home?'

'I think there's a piece of Mid Wales just perfect for them.'

'Excellent.'

The corn moved about them more happily now, creating a pathway out of the field and back out into civilisation, and apologising for having blocked them in earlier.

Gwen looked flustered, and somewhat surprised to see them.

'What took you so long? Did you decide to have shag while I was busy?'

'Give us some credit, PC Cooper. We've been busy sorting out our little plantation problem. Get that sexy husband of yours on the phone and tell him were going to need an overnight hauler.'

Rhys came though with the goods later than night. They figured it would be a whole lot easier to load a field full of corn plants onto a truck under the cover of darkness. Especially since these ones were going to walk themselves on board.

Four hours later, they were on the road, and on their way to their new location. The corn children seemed very pleased with their new home, the lush green grass, rich soil and plenty of rain, settling their roots quickly into the soft earth and almost appearing to sigh with contentment. As a parting gift, they gave the team several dozen of their finest ears of corn, not something they would normally have done under any other circumstance, but they were exceedingly grateful.

'Another job well done,' Jack stated as he watched Ianto unpacking their gift into the refrigerator back at the hub. 'I'm starving though. What's in the cupboards we can have for breakfast?'

Ianto opened it and inspected the bare contents, not having had time to shop lately.

'Cornflakes. And that's about it.'

'I think we should go out for breakfast then,' Jack replied, not feeling quite so enthusiastic anymore about corn for the moment.

Torchwood: Fanfic: Stuck in a field

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