Fandomweekly Challenge 235 - Out of a hat
Jan. 3rd, 2025 12:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
m_findlowTitle: Out of a hat
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes:
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes:
Author notes: Written for Challenge 235 - Magic at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomweekly
fandomweeklySummary: Ianto tries to help a riftugee finds his feet, but they get more than they bargained for.
Jack slowly brought the mug of coffee to his lips and sipped as he stared out through the back window of their kitchen, watching a perfect sunny day unfold, and fifteen bubbly children outside enjoying it amongst a sea of streamers and balloons.
‘I’m still not sure about this,’ he said, lowering his mug, the delectable coffee doing nothing to quell the uneasy feeling in his stomach.
Beside him, placing cupcakes out on a bright red platter, his husband sighed. ‘It’ll be fine,’ he said, trying to reassure Jack. ‘Just look at them, all happy and giddy. Only you could grump your way through a children’s birthday party.’
‘I’m not a grump,’ Jack said, pouting and going back to staring out the window. ‘I just don’t know why you had to hire “him”. He glared towards the strange little man in the heavy purple robes, complete with the silly top hat and fake magic wand. Why they hadn’t just hired one of those inflatable jumping castles, Jack couldn’t say, but then again, he wasn’t the one in charge of organising children’s birthday parties, and if he rightly recalled, the last time they’d had a jumping castle, Ianto had criticised him for monopolising it, leaving children sitting on the sidelines whilst their dad indulged in some childish fun. As far as Jack was concerned there was no rule that said jumping castles were only for small children. He had been the one to pay for it after all, why shouldn’t he get his money’s worth?
Another sigh and this time an eye roll went with it. ‘Give the guy a break, Jack. He’s been out of work for over a year and only just found something he can do that can fill in his days and bring in a little bit of money.’
Jack scowled. ‘Not like we didn’t try to find him work,’ he reminded Ianto. Any alien that ended up stranded on Earth got the Torchwood treatment, helping them find housing and employment. ‘How you can say Fitzroy had transferable skills is a joke. The creature is a con man and nothing more.’ Jack would have had him on the first transport ship out of here except that was against policy.
‘You were once a con man and look how well reformed you are,’ Ianto reminded him. ‘Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance?’
Jack returned the eye roll he’d received earlier. ‘What, so a few sleight of hand card tricks qualifies the guy to pretend to be a magician working kids parties? At least inflict him on someone else’s kids.’
‘Illusion is an artform in and of itself. We spoke for a long time before I agreed to let him take on the job seriously. He was honestly very impressive. He'd done load of research on earth customs and watched hundreds of hours of videos of Penn and Teller, Houdini, David Copperfield. Dynamo is his new hero. 'He thinks he might audition for the next Britain's Got Talent.’
‘Letting aliens audition for reality television? Now I know you’ve gone soft.’
‘He did some amazing balloon work,’ Ianto added. ‘You should’ve seen the weevil he made.’
‘Well, he’d better not be doing weevils out there,’ Jack said, thumbing over his shoulder. ‘We don't need him terrifying the kids.’
‘Just poodles and daffodils, I promise.’
Squeals of delight erupted from outside and Jack saw the smug look on Ianto's face. ‘See, listen to how much fun they're having.’
Jack turned and peered back out the window, seeing what had caused the peels of sudden delight. ‘Uh, honey…’ Jack pointed and Ianto leaned across to look. ‘Ah.’ They both jostled to reach the back door first.
Outside the children were running all over the yard, whooping and laughing as they chased rabbits around the garden. On the star-covered card table, a top hat lay on its side and a large beige angora rabbit was trying to force its way out of the toppled hat, finally breaking free, before a smaller and more mottled rabbit came bounding out after it and frantically joined its cousins leaping around the yard, pursued relentlessly by excited small children.
Jack stopped just short of the table, trying to take in the bizarre scene. ‘What the hell happened?’
‘It was only supposed to be one!’ Fitzroy cried, waving a small object in his hand, ‘And now they won't stop!’
Jack recognised the fabricator device and immediately snatched it from the ex-con man’s hand. On the table the huge angora rabbit was still sitting there, lazily going nowhere, but it hadn’t stopped the hat from ejecting more rabbits in all shapes and sizes. Jack pointed at the hat trying to shut it down, but the device didn't work. He tried several more times before giving up and simply smashing the device under his boot, putting an end to multiplying rabbits.
Off to his left, Ianto had given up corralling rabbits, shouting “Everyone inside for cupcakes and icecream!” It didn't work right away but eventually fifteen children were indoors, leaving only three dozen rabbits bounding around the yard, eating petunias and marigolds.
‘What the hell was that?’ Ianto said, coming over and looking out of breath.
‘Fabricator,’ Jack announced before Fitzroy could cut in, holding up the damaged remains. ‘Though where our good friend got one of these,’ he added, casting a baleful look in the magician's direction.
Ianto frowned at it and then at Fitzroy. ‘I had a damaged one come through the rift the other day.’ Then the penny dropped and Ianto’s face grew dark. ‘Wait, did you steal this off my desk when I asked you around to talk about doing our kids' party?
‘Like I said, Ianto,’ Jack said, grabbing Fitzroy by the scruff of his costume. ‘Once a con man, always a con man. The only trick he had was pulling the wool over your eyes.’
‘A guy has to earn a living!’ Fitzroy complained.
‘Uh huh. Well, how does Chief Bunny-sitter grab you?’
Jack slowly brought the mug of coffee to his lips and sipped as he stared out through the back window of their kitchen, watching a perfect sunny day unfold, and fifteen bubbly children outside enjoying it amongst a sea of streamers and balloons.
‘I’m still not sure about this,’ he said, lowering his mug, the delectable coffee doing nothing to quell the uneasy feeling in his stomach.
Beside him, placing cupcakes out on a bright red platter, his husband sighed. ‘It’ll be fine,’ he said, trying to reassure Jack. ‘Just look at them, all happy and giddy. Only you could grump your way through a children’s birthday party.’
‘I’m not a grump,’ Jack said, pouting and going back to staring out the window. ‘I just don’t know why you had to hire “him”. He glared towards the strange little man in the heavy purple robes, complete with the silly top hat and fake magic wand. Why they hadn’t just hired one of those inflatable jumping castles, Jack couldn’t say, but then again, he wasn’t the one in charge of organising children’s birthday parties, and if he rightly recalled, the last time they’d had a jumping castle, Ianto had criticised him for monopolising it, leaving children sitting on the sidelines whilst their dad indulged in some childish fun. As far as Jack was concerned there was no rule that said jumping castles were only for small children. He had been the one to pay for it after all, why shouldn’t he get his money’s worth?
Another sigh and this time an eye roll went with it. ‘Give the guy a break, Jack. He’s been out of work for over a year and only just found something he can do that can fill in his days and bring in a little bit of money.’
Jack scowled. ‘Not like we didn’t try to find him work,’ he reminded Ianto. Any alien that ended up stranded on Earth got the Torchwood treatment, helping them find housing and employment. ‘How you can say Fitzroy had transferable skills is a joke. The creature is a con man and nothing more.’ Jack would have had him on the first transport ship out of here except that was against policy.
‘You were once a con man and look how well reformed you are,’ Ianto reminded him. ‘Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance?’
Jack returned the eye roll he’d received earlier. ‘What, so a few sleight of hand card tricks qualifies the guy to pretend to be a magician working kids parties? At least inflict him on someone else’s kids.’
‘Illusion is an artform in and of itself. We spoke for a long time before I agreed to let him take on the job seriously. He was honestly very impressive. He'd done load of research on earth customs and watched hundreds of hours of videos of Penn and Teller, Houdini, David Copperfield. Dynamo is his new hero. 'He thinks he might audition for the next Britain's Got Talent.’
‘Letting aliens audition for reality television? Now I know you’ve gone soft.’
‘He did some amazing balloon work,’ Ianto added. ‘You should’ve seen the weevil he made.’
‘Well, he’d better not be doing weevils out there,’ Jack said, thumbing over his shoulder. ‘We don't need him terrifying the kids.’
‘Just poodles and daffodils, I promise.’
Squeals of delight erupted from outside and Jack saw the smug look on Ianto's face. ‘See, listen to how much fun they're having.’
Jack turned and peered back out the window, seeing what had caused the peels of sudden delight. ‘Uh, honey…’ Jack pointed and Ianto leaned across to look. ‘Ah.’ They both jostled to reach the back door first.
Outside the children were running all over the yard, whooping and laughing as they chased rabbits around the garden. On the star-covered card table, a top hat lay on its side and a large beige angora rabbit was trying to force its way out of the toppled hat, finally breaking free, before a smaller and more mottled rabbit came bounding out after it and frantically joined its cousins leaping around the yard, pursued relentlessly by excited small children.
Jack stopped just short of the table, trying to take in the bizarre scene. ‘What the hell happened?’
‘It was only supposed to be one!’ Fitzroy cried, waving a small object in his hand, ‘And now they won't stop!’
Jack recognised the fabricator device and immediately snatched it from the ex-con man’s hand. On the table the huge angora rabbit was still sitting there, lazily going nowhere, but it hadn’t stopped the hat from ejecting more rabbits in all shapes and sizes. Jack pointed at the hat trying to shut it down, but the device didn't work. He tried several more times before giving up and simply smashing the device under his boot, putting an end to multiplying rabbits.
Off to his left, Ianto had given up corralling rabbits, shouting “Everyone inside for cupcakes and icecream!” It didn't work right away but eventually fifteen children were indoors, leaving only three dozen rabbits bounding around the yard, eating petunias and marigolds.
‘What the hell was that?’ Ianto said, coming over and looking out of breath.
‘Fabricator,’ Jack announced before Fitzroy could cut in, holding up the damaged remains. ‘Though where our good friend got one of these,’ he added, casting a baleful look in the magician's direction.
Ianto frowned at it and then at Fitzroy. ‘I had a damaged one come through the rift the other day.’ Then the penny dropped and Ianto’s face grew dark. ‘Wait, did you steal this off my desk when I asked you around to talk about doing our kids' party?
‘Like I said, Ianto,’ Jack said, grabbing Fitzroy by the scruff of his costume. ‘Once a con man, always a con man. The only trick he had was pulling the wool over your eyes.’
‘A guy has to earn a living!’ Fitzroy complained.
‘Uh huh. Well, how does Chief Bunny-sitter grab you?’
