m_findlow

Title: Out of office
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 2,836 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, they only come out at night to play" at fic_promptly
Summary: Ianto never expected to be on field duties

Ianto wasn't expecting visitors at this late hour of the night, as he squatted beside a crate full of odd objects, studying the faded and yellowing labels on them, trying to account for them on a old manifest from one of the many filing cabinets tucked away in the archives. He'd only been at the task a few days, and had already decided that if he was going to be stuck here for a while he might as well have a project to keep his days occupied, in between fetching food and drink, cleaning, answering phones, laundry, and whatever else deemed needing to be done to keep Torchwood running in the absence of any of the other team members taking on any of said tasks. How they've ever found their way out of door through the piles of accumulating rubbish was anyone's guess. He'd only been here a few weeks and spent the first two just ridding the main hub area of what seemed like years worth of detritus.

In truth, he hadn't fancied that anyone even knew he was down here, or bothered to care. Yet somehow Jack had found him, and that in itself was disconcerting. What else might he find that Ianto was doing down here?

'I was hoping you'd gone home, but figured I might still find you down here,' Jack said, leaning against one of the slowly rotting wooden shelves.

'Sorry, sir,' he replied, making a note of studying his watch. He was perfectly well aware of the hour. 'I guess I must have lost track of time. What can I do for you?'

'Got a report of weevils at a meat processing plant in Splott. The only ever seem to come out at night, these days. Pardon the pun. I was looking for a wingman.'

'I could make a few calls,' Ianto offered.

'No need,' Jack replied. 'The others can have the night off, and you're already here.'

'Sir?' Ianto replied, confused. He didn't mean for Ianto to be his backup, surely?

'It's probably only one or two. We can take them easy.'

'Are you sure you wouldn't prefer one of the others?'

'Come on. It'll be fun.'

The ride across town in the SUV had been tense. Jack was his usual boisterous self, telling stories about some alien encounter he'd had with something that looked like a banana with five arms. Ianto tried to be attentive, but could feel his insides twisting at the though of being out in the field.

The processing plant was eerily quiet but still, the smell of chilled meat, blood and offal hung in the air, making it less than pleasant to breathe in. He'd smelled worse, but this was hardly a bed of roses.

It was cold as well, even though they were nowhere near the actual freezer rooms, and the lighting was minimal, casting a soft pinkish glow, and accentuating the long shadows. The whole place was creepy and he was beginning to have significant doubts as to why Jack had brought him here. His first run in with a real life weevil had nearly seen him come off second best. Had it not been for Jack's intervention, he would likely have been torn to shreds by it. It was a stupid thing to do, and even though he'd seen pictures and reports of them when he'd worked in London, he'd never faced one up close, not even the corpses of ones that were sent to London for further examination. He'd even heard rumors that they were keeping a few live ones there and running horrible experiments on them. It didn't bear thinking about. Dangerous or not, there was scientific interest, and then there was just sadistic brutality. He hoped the rumors were just that, rumors.

His first weevil fight had been completely unexpected. He'd been following Jack, finding out more about the intriguing man, trying to spot some kind of weakness or advantage that he could use to get into Torchwood, when the captain had taken on the creature. Obviously that had been why he was out there in the first place, unbeknownst to Ianto, but from the looks of things, he wasn't doing so well. He couldn't let anything happen to Jack. He was so close to figuring out a way back into Torchwood. If they lost their leader, it would all come to ruin for him. So he'd done the only thing he could, grabbing a wayward branch and stepping into the fray.

It wasn't something he wanted to do again anytime soon. The weevil had been incredibly powerful and strong, and its teeth and claws had the potential to be deadly. And now here he was, willingly walking right into their den, armed with nothing but his wits and a can of weevil spray. He couldn't even make a joke about weevil repellent, he was so nervous, and yet Jack seemed completely at ease as if he'd just armed Ianto with a machine gun.

Jack grinned at him as he threw open a side door to another room within the warehouse and flew in, coat dashing in his wake. He actually looked excited. It was insane. Ianto quietly prayed that the weevils had gone out for the night, but got the feeling that he wasn't about to be that lucky. This was not what he thought he'd signed up for at the beginning. He'd had a quiet unassuming office job in London, and he'd hoped to fill the same role here in Cardiff, but was now being asked to step into the breach, and put his life in danger. Only one thought ran through his mind at that point. Stay alive. Do it for Lisa.

His eyes strained to see anything in the dimness. Everywhere were dotted huge bits of machinery that partially glinted in the limited light, and elsewhere were piles of carcasses, bones and bins full to overflowing with cut and wrapped meat in various stages of processing.

'Stay here,' Jack instructed. 'I'm going to go check the next room. Don't start a party without me.'

Jack dashed off, leaving Ianto all alone, or at least he hoped he was alone. The place seemed to creak and groan around him as metal and wood shifted and contracted in the freezing temperatures. Every sound could have also been a weevil, lurking in the darkness. He couldn't tell one noise from another, and the longer he waited for Jack to return, the more anxious he became. He carefully stepped toward the door on the other side of the room, feeling scraps of meat and sinew slipping underneath his shoes. No one, it appeared, had come to hose down the floors overnight, leaving the muck from the day's boning scattered where it had fallen. When he shone his torchlight down at the ground, hoping to avoid more of the same, he caught sight of the pools of blood on the floor, and the splashes dotted against the clear plastic coating some of the huge bags of meat. His memory flashed back to just a few weeks ago when he'd been trapped in the carnage of Canary Wharf. It looked just the same, and his heart began pounding louder, the blood in his ears temporarily blocking out the creaking and groaning noises. He could feel the panic rising and his breath growing short. He had to get out of here, weevils be damned. He slowly backed up and heard a clattering of metal in the darkness, startling him. He backed away further from the sound, but not taking his eyes off the direction from which the sound had come. He finally took one step too far back and backed into something large and heavy. He let out a scream which was cut off barely before it had truly started by a strong hand clamped over his mouth.

'Shhhh!'

Jack was there, trying to silence his cry after he'd backed into an enormous hanging carcass of beef, but still Ianto's panicked mind kept trying to scream despite the hand muffling the sound. He was convinced in his mind that a cybermen had a hold of him, about to drag him off to be converted.

'Ianto!' Jack hissed, trying to quiet him, though he struggled against Jack's grip. If there were weevils in here, Ianto was about to bring them all crashing down on them. Jack did the only thing he could think of, twirling him around and kissing him hard. That worked. Ianto was in such shock at the sudden embrace that his screams died in his throat, replaced by Jack's tongue. Jack kept going until he knew that Ianto was back with him, from whatever terror filled nightmare he'd been trapped in. He risked letting go to get a better look at the young man. Perhaps it had been a mistake to bring him along.

'You okay?' Jack asked. 'We could keep going but I don't think the weevils are up for a threesome.'

Ianto dragged in a deep breath, embarrassed at having completely lost his senses. How on earth, in a moment of sheer panic, could Jack just turn around and kiss him? And then start making jokes about threesomes with weevils? He swallowed hard and nodded just enough for Jack to let go of him.

'I'd say you should go back to the car and wait, but taking on multiple weevils solo is a bit beyond even my amazing skills.'

Ianto swallowed hard again. 'It's fine.' He didn't want Jack to think he was craven, even though the thought of the place being full of weevils or cybermen, or anything else for that matter, filled him with an anxious dread.

'Okay, let's go rustle us up some livestock, then. Just keep close, and if anything taps you on the shoulder, I give you permission to scream.'

Ianto, who was usually full of dry witted replies, held his tongue. He couldn't bring himself to find the funny side.

Carefully they made their way through the veritable rabbit warren that was the factory. There were rooms for slicing and dicing, rooms for mincing, boxing, storage for pallets and bags and labels, boxes and vacuum packed meat by the truckload, but still no sign of their quarry. Ianto was beginning to think that they were going to get lucky after all.

'How can you stay so calm?' It was the question Ianto had been repeating in his head for the past half an hour since they’d left the safety of the SUV, but he’d finally gotten the courage to voice it.

'Weevils? They’re nothing. Like a bad second date. Awkward conversation, a bit of rough and tumble, but it always ends in tears for someone.' He chuckled at his own joke.

Ianto couldn’t wrap his head around it. The others seemed to be just like Jack, laughing and joking about things they’d done or faced that seemed totally dangerous and life threatening, but Jack took nonchalance in the face of certain death to a whole other level. It seemed that he had some kind of advanced healing qualities, which had become apparent the first night they’d met, when he recalled the bleeding gash on Jack’s neck that had mysteriously disappeared of its own accord. Perhaps that had something to do with it, but still, chances were that if things went south, no amount of amazing blood clotting capabilities was going to prevent him from being ripped open like a sardine can.

'Relax,' Jack said. 'This is supposed to be fun.'

Fun? Jack was out of his mind. Catching Myfanwy had been borderline fun, but that had still entailed a certain amount of danger that he hadn’t been equipped for.

'Look, just stay one step behind me and if the weevils come at us, I’ll hold them off whilst you spray them. After that, it won’t be too hard to sedate them and move them somewhere safe.'

'You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?'

'Are you kidding me? This is the best part of my day. Well, apart from your coffee, that is. That gets top billing, these days. Plus, it pays the bills. A desk job would be so bor-,' another loud clatter came from the far side of the massive room, and this time they could both be certain that neither of them had been the source.

'Tally ho!' Jack grinned, hearing a growling sound emanating from nearby. Another growl joined it, but from the complete opposite side, then another. Jack spun so that his back was up against Ianto's.

'Seems they've got Napoleon in charge,' he commented. 'We're surrounded.'

Ianto said nothing, wondering desperately whether he'd ever see Lisa again, and whether the others would even find her down in the basement, or if she'd simply run out of power and medications, dying alone down there. Scared as he was right now, he knew he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't show fear. They had to get out of here alive. Somehow.

'Plans?' He asked, as Jack was keeping an eye on two of the three weevils that were circling them in the dark.

'Think I can distract them with my tap dance routine?'

Ianto couldn't understand how Jack could joke at a time like this. There were three weevils and only two of them.

Before he could contemplate their situation further, one of the weevils lunged towards Jack, as a second made for Ianto. Somehow, they both managed to thrust themselves in opposite directions, causing the pair of weevils to crash into one another and onto the floor. Jack laughed at the slapstick result, tangling himself into a tackle with the third. Ianto wasn't sure what to do, watching on helplessly as Jack struggled to get the upper hand, before realising that the other two were clambering back to their feet. Without thinking, he kicked out at one, knocking into the back of its knee, causing it to tumble back on top of its companion. He chanced a step forward to spray the first one in the face with the spray he'd almost forgotten he was holding on to.

The one underneath was still struggling under the weight of the other as he felt himself get knocked to the ground by Jack who'd bungled into him in his own battles. Meanwhile, the other weevil had finally gotten out from under his friend and was coming straight for Ianto. He panicked, reaching out for the can of spray that he'd dropped when he'd tumbled to the ground, only to wrap his hand around something else and thrust it forward between himself and the weevil. Unbelievably, it was a bone, and the weevil's powerful jaw bit into it and clamped down hard. With every fibre of his being, he hauled the butchered limb away from his face, belting it, and the weevil head attached, into the side of a solid metal machine, stunning the weevil, if not completely knocking it unconscious. It gave him the time he needed to crawl over and reclaim the can of spray, finishing the job that the concussion had started. He almost couldn't believe his luck, staggering back to his feet.

'I don't mind dancing, but could you at least let me lead? You're stepping on my toes,' Ianto heard Jack conversing with his weevil.

Jack caught sight of Ianto in between bouts of fending off what must have been the alpha weevil, larger than the other two.

'Ianto! Bin!'

'What?' He was almost too stunned by his own dumb luck so far to comprehend what Jack meant, until he saw it for himself. There was a large cubic metal bin on wheels, used to cart large quantities of meat from one room to another, right near where he was stood. He grabbed one side of it and pushed it towards Jack, as Jack spun the weevil around. The two met halfway and the velocity caused the weevil to tumble headlong into the bin, Jack's upper body following suit as he leaned in to administer the spray.

'Now that's what I call putting out the trash. It's the last time I sign myself up for a blind date. His foxtrot was awful.'

Ianto was breathing hard, unsure if it was from his efforts expended in saving himself from being mauled, or just the sheer terror that it had come that close. Jack was still smiling and looking fresh as a daisy.

'Good work, Ianto,' Jack said, whilst injecting the weevils with a stronger sedative for transport. 'This was fun. We should do it more often.'

Ianto was glad that the poor lighting meant Jack couldn't see how pale his face had just turned at the thought.

'I think my skills are better served elsewhere, sir.'

'Speaking of,' Jack replied, not readily agreeing with Ianto as he'd hoped, 'I think this calls for a coffee when we get back, don't you?'

Coffee, a cigarette, Prozac, and a good long hug from a teddy bear, Ianto thought to himself.