m_findlow

Title: Clowning around
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Torchwood team
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 826 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, there's a scary face underneath that clown makeup" at fic_promptly
Summary: The circus is in town with a new headline act

'It's days like this that remember why I love this job,' Ianto said to Gwen and Tosh. 'Popcorn?'

'Thanks.' Gwen reached into the large bucket without taking her eyes off the performance in front of them.

'You okay Tosh?' Ianto asked.

'Just tell me when it's over.'

'Okay.'

The pair of them watched Jack and Owen, dressed up as clowns, galavanting across the stage with a tiny little dog, trailing after them. Owen sat down on a crate and the dog jumped up next to him and pulled a ball out of Owen's oversized pocket, running back to give it to Jack. He did this again and again, until Jack had three balls and began juggling them.

'I still can't quite believe they agreed to do this,' Gwen said.

The dog went back to Owen's pocket again, aiming for a fourth ball, but instead grabbed at his handkerchief, pulling it out, only the find that it stretched on for several yards as he tugged its length across the stage.

'Well, they lost their clowns to that tiger, and the ringmaster was most miffed that now we were taking away his biggest draw card as well. Not too many circuses can say they have a fire breathing tiger.'

'When did the Shadow Proclamation say they'd have a ship in near orbit to come and pick it up?'

'Three days. Until then we just have to make sure we keep it sedated so it doesn't burn down the hub.'

After Jack's juggling act was over, there was a comical tussle between the pair of them because Owen was jealous of all the attention Jack had gotten for his juggling, and Jack squirted him with the flower on his lapel, before running away into the large cardboard house on the side of the stage.

'The ringmaster said that we'd have to provide him with a replacement act for tonight because he couldn't afford to refund everyone their tickets.'

'And we went with clowns?' Tosh asked, her eyes still squeezed shut. She hated clowns. Those painted faces just freaked her out.

'They'd lost their clowns double act when the caravan they were in got burnt down, and let's face it, both of them are naturally gifted in that department. I can't imagine Owen being any good at the trapeze, though I wouldn't mind seeing him being shot out of a canon some days. Clowns seemed the obvious choice. And Jack loves any excuse to dress up and be the centre of attention.'

All of a sudden, the house Jack was in was ablaze with fire. Jack was attempting to put out the fire with his water spurting lapel flower, the same one he'd squirted Owen with earlier, but to no great effect, eliciting a round of laughter. Now he was gesticulating frantically for Owen to save him.

'I'm not so sure about that,' Gwen said, watching as Owen trudged across the stage, carrying a bucket with a massive hole in it, spilling water as he went, the tiny dog barking behind him, trying to warn him, whilst the audience laughed. 'Even with the makeup on, he's the scariest looking clown I've ever seen.'

Owen reached the other side of the stage with his now empty bucket and made to throw it over the burning house, with Jack still inside, waving about comically in fear.

'Hang on,' Gwen said, 'how did you get out of it? I can't see Owen having volunteered to be Jack's wingman.'

'Oh, that was easy,' Ianto grinned. 'The dog took an unusual liking to Owen, so the ringmaster almost demanded he be part of the act, to save having to retrain Solly to work with someone else.'

'What's happening?' Tosh asked, trying to guage the situation from the gasps made by the audience.

'It's okay Tosh. Owen's just trying to save Jack from a burning building.'

'Oh, okay.'

'Jack wanted to do his "man who can't die" act again,' Ianto said, 'but I put my foot down. What a ridiculous suggestion!'

Owen tried propping up a ladder to the first floor window to pull Jack out, but as soon as Owen's face appeared in the window, Jack slammed a cream pie in his face, knocking him and the ladder over. Gwen and Ianto burst out laughing.

'Oh, you're right,' Gwen said. 'This is so much better. I'd pay to come and watch this again tomorrow night.'

Eventually it was Solly who saved the day, running across the stage with a hose in her mouth, putting out the flames. Owen looked tired and bedraggled, and covered in cream pie, which made him look not much different to how he looked after a long day at Torchwood.

The audience cheered and Jack picked Solly up and kissed her.

Gwen and into clapped loudest of all, cheering loudly as Owen slipped over in the puddle of water.

'Remind me not to kiss Jack later,' Ianto said as Gwen giggled.