Torchwood: Fanfic: Party hard

[m_findlow]

Title: Party hard
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto, OC (spoilers!)
Author: m_findlow
Rating: M / NC 17
Length: 1,340 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, a swinging good time" at fic_promptly
Summary: It's the wildest party in the universe, and Jack and Ianto are about to meet someone wild there

'This is literally the best bar in the whole universe,' Jack declared.

'And why is that?' Ianto asked.

'Because it's Halloween here every day of the year. Mmm, I love Halloween! And the best part is we're already dressed for the occasion,' Jack added, popping the collar on his coat, gliding through the front doors.

Jack wasn't wrong. The place was like the craziest Halloween party he'd ever been to. It wasn't enough that there were all kinds of species here, which would have outdone any earth based party for a start, but that they were indeed costumed in all manner of outlandish disguises. He couldn't tell the human based lifeforms from the aliens, nor male from female. The music was thumping and the drinks were flowing, and everywhere he looked people were having a ball.

'I love this place,' Jack declared, pulling two bright blue cocktails off a passing waiter and thrusting one into Ianto's hand. 'Tonight is going to be amazing!'

Ianto took a sip and his head felt immediately more floaty. Of course the cocktails were laced with party drugs, he thought, watching as Jack slammed the empty glass on the nearby table, eyes glazing over already, and grinning stupidly. Oh well, Ianto thought, when immortal and in Rome. He threw back the rest of the drink, feeling tingly and happy all over.

'Five bucks and a round of hypervodkas says I pull first,' Jack yelled in his ear over the loud music.

'Only five bucks? Why don't you lay some real money down if you think you're that good?'

Jack laughed. 'Okay, a hundred, then, plus three rounds of hypervodkas. Your James Bond look doesn't stand a chance against this,' he said, showing himself off.

'A fool and his money are soon parted,' Ianto replied, already feeling loose and carefree.

Jack grabbed him and kissed him hard in the middle of the dance floor, tongue pushed deep down the back of his throat, before he pulled back.

'See you in a bit. Bring home someone nice for me.' And with that Jack melded into the throng of people.

Ianto felt good, better than good actually. He was swaying happily to the music, letting anyone and everyone wrap their arms around him, their bodies pressed together. There was a giant squid creature that offered for him to drink shots of a clear green drink from the tips of its long tentacles. That had been fun. He'd seen Jack a couple of times during the night, sometimes stopping for a snog, sometimes watching in fascination at whatever Jack was doing. At one point Jack had a queue of people lining up to lick a glittery powder off his chest, his shirt now hanging open, but still wearing his coat. Ianto queued up with them, finally reaching the front of the line and nibbling Jack's nipple as he trailed his tongue up his rippled torso. The powder was sweet and left him buzzing. He let his tongue slip inside Jack's mouth, letting him get a taste of it.

'You taste so good,' Jack hummed.

'Have you pulled yet?' Ianto asked.

'Just getting the crowd warmed up,' he slurred.

'If you don't find anyone, you can always come home and fuck me tonight. And whoever I bring home.'

Jack nibbled his ear. 'Don't worry, I plan on doing both.'

Ianto continued to drink and dance the night away, taking the occasional grope and kiss from fairies, ghouls, skeletons and superheroes alike. The skeleton had been particularly dexterous, on account of having twice as many arms. His Cleopatra wasn't so keen on him going home with them, though. She had her eyes on the mermaid who was currently grinding up against the wall with the minotaur. When she was done, Ianto had gone over and gotten a share of the action himself. The minotaur it turned out, was very well endowed, and Ianto thought he might rub a hole into his groin if they kept it up much longer. The minotaur was equally pleased by the things Ianto was doing with his tongue, having learned most of them from Jack. He made sure to let the minotaur know that if he wanted a good time, to seek out the guy in the long blue coat.

Hours later he was parked at the bar with yet another drink. He'd lost count just how many he'd had but he still felt good. Nice thing about drinks in galactic bars. They had the intended effects and more without a lot of the hangover. On top of that he'd had a lot of party drugs which keep him blissful and open to just about anything.

A lithe woman in latex, dressed as a cat, sidled up next to him.

'Hello sweetie,' she said, sipping the dregs of a red concoction in a tall glass. 'Come here often?'

'First time,' he replied. 'But hopefully not the last.'

'Who doesn't love a virgin?' she purred. 'Are you going to buy me a drink?'

'That depends,' he countered. 'Am I buying you a drink or showing you a good time?'

'Both, hopefully,' she grinned. 'I'm going to need somebody to help me remove this suit later on,' she said, letting her hand trail down its length.

He smiled. 'I'm very good with my hands.'

'It's not your hands I'm interested in,' she said, looking him up and down appreciatively.

He grabbed her hand and kissed it, eyes never leaving hers. She grabbed him by the tie and pulled him forward, locking lips with him and kissing, reaching down to inspect his other features with her spare hand, whilst he reached across himself, placing a hand on her voluptuous figure, squeezing and investigating just how thick the latex actually was. They continued for several minutes, kissing and groping until they both had to stop for air.

'That's more like it,' she crooned. 'Do you have a name, most beautiful man?'

'Jones, Ianto Jones.'

'River Song,' she replied, 'but you can call me anything you like, sweetie.'

They were sitting close, deep in conversation, River's hand tracing its way along the inside of his thigh when Jack slinked up behind him, nuzzling him.

'Hello, gorgeous.'

Ianto leaned back, letting Jack capture his lips, long and slow. He could taste about ten different kinds of alcohol on his lips.

'Who's this amazing creature, Ianto?' River asked.

'This is Jack. He's my sexy husband.'

'Well, hello sweetie,' River said, reaching out her hand to Jack. 'I do so love swingers.'

Jack smiled easily at her, lolling slightly on his feet, wrapping arms around Ianto's middle to steady himself. Jack was very drunk and very high. Ianto wasn't far behind him. A round of hypervodkas would just about do him in. Jack leaned in against Ianto's ear.

'Did you just pull?'

'Maybe. In which case, I belive you owe us a round of drinks.'

'How is that even possible? I've had tongues and tentacles places you can't even imagine.'

'Maybe you could show me instead,' Ianto teased, running a hand down Jack's sticky torso until it was resting against his crotch.

'Don't feel bad, sweetie,' River apologised. 'It's the suit. I've always loved a man in a suit.'

'It's the Bond thing,' Ianto added. 'Chicks dig Bond. Your World War two charms only work on me.'

Jack looked over at River, then back at his lover, before picking up the rest of Ianto's drink and throwing it back.

'May I say you always have excellent taste, Mr Jones?'

'I do, don't I?' he grinned stupidly, gripping Jack's crotch rather more tightly. 'Happy Halloween.'

River intervened before the two of them forgot her completely, both lost in lustful expressions.

'What's say we take the next round back at your place? I'd so love to get to know you both better.'

'I think that can be arranged,' Jack replied. 'If you think the suit's hot, just wait until you see what's hidden beneath it.'

'Oh, don't worry about that. I have a very good imagination.'