m_findlow

Title: Practice makes perfect
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,747 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 28 - Practice at beattheblackdog
Summary: Jack will do anything to win.

Ianto flung open the supplies closet door and grinned, leaning into kiss Jack who was cramped inside it, looking thoroughly debauched.

'You used to be good at this,' Ianto teased. 'I know you’re not going easy on me. It’s just not in your nature.'

'Hey, it’s been a while,' Jack replied. 'We haven’t played naked hide and seek for ages.'

'So you’re saying you’re out of practice?'

Jack growled. He didn’t like losing to Ianto, not ever. Especially at naked hide and seek.

'The only thing you need to worry about, Mr Jones, is how much practice you need.'

'I don’t think so,' Ianto replied, still fully clothed. 'I’ll be taking that,' he said, gripping the bottom edges of Jack’s t-shirt and slipping it up and over his head, leaving him in only his underwear. He leaned forward and kissed Jack again, but Jack pulled away.

'You get the rest only if you win,' Jack said.

'I think you mean when I win,' Ianto replied unable to wipe through smile off his face that made him look like the cat that had gotten the cream.

He half thought that Jack was purposefully letting him win each round, just so that he could get to the business end of things, Ianto claiming his naked prize. Usually by now, it would be the other way around, with Jack barely missing his braces and Ianto getting about in little more than socks. But that was mainly because Jack cheated. Jack denying that he cheated was just part of the game. They both knew it for fact, and that Ianto was rewarded no matter which one of them technically won, meant he let Jack get away with it for the most part.

'My turn again,' Ianto announced. That was the rules. You get found, you lose a piece of clothing and then have to hide again, putting another garment on the line. Reward for not being found within a reasonable amount of time was a chance at seeking, and a chance to steal another piece of clothing from the opponent.

'Would you like me to count two hundred this time?' Ianto asked. 'Give you some extra time to hide properly, or at least time to think of somewhere not completely obvious?'

Jack didn’t like smug Ianto. Time to teach him a lesson. Ianto wouldn’t find him this time, and once that was done, he was going to systematically strip Ianto of every piece of clothing he owned. He’d cheat like hell to do it, too.

'I don’t need a handicap. Just start counting.'

Ianto rolled his eyes before closing them, loudly counting upwards.

At least without his boots, Jack was able to sneak away much more easily, his boots not thumping away at a million miles an hour, forcing him to double back to confuse and distract his very intelligent pursuer. Despite the two minute countdown, Jack often ran as fast as he could, putting considerable distance between them, leaving himself a good ten minutes to hide himself away.

As much as he hated to admit it, he was a little rusty. Ianto had a little luck on his side as well. He usually didn’t find Jack in the first attempt, meaning Jack took the next turn, slowly decimating Ianto’s thread count in successive discoveries, Ianto unable to pull the wool over Jack’s eyes, or more to the point, to pull the wool over their CCTV systems. Perhaps that was why Ianto was having so much joy today. Perhaps he’d taken a leaf out of Jack’s playbook. Nah, Jack decided. Ianto was too civilised for that. Cheating was supposedly beneath him.

Jack skipped quickly across the main hub floor, but not before he made a brief stop at Ianto’s desk, where Ianto had hung up his jacket on the back of the chair, Jack’s only prize for the day, claimed before Ianto’s lucky streak.

He dipped a hand in the pocket feeling the cool metal and plastic of keys, wrapping his hand around it before disappearing out through the door and into the hall.

He ran down the halls and the two flights of steps until he reached the door that lead to the underground car park, taking a quick look left and right through a gap in the door, checking for other patrons. Most didn’t park this far down unless there was a big concert on at the Centre, but you never knew. Dressed in as little as he was, it always paid to make sure.

He couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he proceeded over to the black vehicle. Ianto wouldn’t find him here. The SUV sat proudly in its usual space and Jack walked straight past it. Yes, the SUV was too obvious. Jack’s idea was way better. He gripped the keys and punched the button on the fob, watching the lights flash once before unlocking. Ianto would never expect Jack to use his car for a hiding place.

He popped the boot and looked inside. As expected, it was neat and basically empty with the exception of a tyre iron and a small blanket. He took the keys and slipped them on top of the rear wheel, just under the cover. No sense in leaving them somewhere obvious, signalling his hiding spot like a big red flag.

Jack grinned again, hoisting a leg over and in, before tucking his knees up and curling himself inside, pulling the boot down until it clicked in place. Yes, he thought, this time I win.

The boot was dark and cramped, Jack’s large frame fitting in easily enough, if not all that comfortably. He realised perhaps it might have been an idea to lay the blanket out first, giving him a bit more comfort, but now it was wedged down near his feet. He’d set his vortex manipulator to beep after half an hour, signalling the end of the game. Technically, Ianto only had twenty minutes to find him, but he’d give him an extra ten.

After fifteen minutes of being tucked up inside though, Jack began to rethink his brilliant idea. It was getting awfully hot inside, stifling as he tried to shift feeling slightly sweaty. With his body taking up most of the space, there was little left for fresh air.

Don’t panic, Jack, he told himself. The boot isn’t airtight. You can still breathe. There just isn’t as much air as you’re used to. You can release the boot from inside any time.

He tried to slow his breathing, feeling the air grow thin, yet thick as he tried to take it in, like it needed chewing first. It made him feel a bit light-headed.

Just relax, he told himself. As soon as your alarm goes off, you can get out and go claim your victory.

Ianto searched high and low for Jack, but had no luck finding him. Considering the last seven places he’d tried, he’d finally managed to hit on somewhere Ianto couldn’t find him.

Once his twenty minutes was up, he waited for Jack to return to the main hub, their agreed spot once time was over. Ianto gave him ten minutes to reappear from whichever ingenious spot he’d devised. When he didn’t come back after twenty, Ianto began to wonder where he’d gotten to.

'You’ve proved your point, Jack,' he called out. 'Hurry up and get your butt back here. I’m not getting naked any quicker.'

Another five minutes and Ianto started to worry. Jack should be back by now. Deciding there was nothing for it, he stepped up to his computer and flipped over to the CCTV feeds. It was what Jack used to cheat, so now Ianto was going to use it on him.

He tracked Jack’s movements down the halls and out into the car park, watching in horror as Jack did the unthinkable. He bolted down there straight away, pulling the keys out from under the wheel. He could hear an insistent beeping coming from the boot, Jack’s vortex manipulator. Throwing open the boot, he found Jack curled up inside.

'Jack! Jack!' He heard his name called out over and over, cracking open an eye and finding a distressed looking Ianto hovering over him. It was then he realised he was lying on cold concrete, a blanket covering him. Hadn’t he been inside Ianto’s car?

'Ianto?' he said, sounding confused. 'What happened? Did I win?'

'You passed the out in there, you great idiot!' Ianto said, whacking him on the arm and looking twenty kinds of livid. 'What on earth were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all? No, of course you bloody weren't!'

Jack sat up and Ianto grabbed the blanket, wrapping it and his own arms around Jack.

'Stupid, stupid man,' he heard Ianto mutter. 'Anything to win a stupid game. I thought you’d died in there.'

He hugged Jack tightly, and Jack felt a slight shame at having scared his lover so badly. It hadn’t been his intention. He couldn’t even remember feeling sleepy as the lack of air befuddled his mind, sending him off to sleep. Ianto must have found him and pulled him out.

'I should put you on decaf for a week.' Yes, Jack thought, he probably should. In hindsight his idea had been quite silly. He just hadn’t expected it to go quite so badly.

'I win though,' Jack heard himself reply, in place of the contrite thoughts in his head. 'That means it’s your turn to hide.'

Ianto wanted to be mad at Jack, but he was just so relieved that he was okay. 'No,' he replied, 'technically you never stopped hiding. Therefore, I found you, which means I win. And since you’re down to your last piece of clothing, that means I get you all for myself.'

Jack felt like correcting Ianto, telling him that he always had Jack all for himself, but he still looked too annoyed with Jack to split hairs.

'What are you going to do with me, Mr Jones?' Jack asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

'Tie you up somewhere, I think,' Ianto replied, 'so that you can’t do anything stupid ever again.'

'Ooh, I love a bit of bondage!' Despite still feeling a bit woozy, he couldn't help but get excited at the prospect.

Ianto shoved him hard, throwing the blanket back in his face. 'Not this kind, you won’t. The only practice you're going to be getting is practice in staying still and behaving yourself.'