m_findlow

Title: Not the same thing
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Owen
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 954 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for badly_knitted's prompt "Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, "Jack, you can't use fabric softener on your hair!" "But we've run out of conditioner!"" at fic_promptly
Summary: Jack thought he was thinking laterally...

Ianto was standing at the kitchen counter, watching the toast in the toaster when the warm arms wrapped around him from behind.

'Morning gorgeous,' Jack crooned, nuzzling in against Ianto's neck.

Ianto hummed at the feeling of Jack so close. 'You'd think I hadn't seen you all of half an hour ago when you left to get showered and dressed.'

'I have a very short memory,' Jack replied, pulling himself tighter against Ianto's body.

Ianto popped the toaster. It wasn't done yet, but it would be a pile of charcoal by the time he got back to it, twisting around in Jack's arms to take full advantage of his amnesiac lover, kissing him long and slow.

'Mmm, you taste like coffee,' Jack purred, dipping in for another sample before proceeding to kiss him along his jaw, and down towards his neck.

'Mmm,' Ianto hummed again, taking in a deep breath, filling his nose with Jack's scent as he pressed his cheek to Jack's hair. 'And you smell like,' he paused, sniffing again. It should have smelled like apples.

'Uh, Jack, why does your hair smell like fresh laundry?'

'I used fabric softener,' Jack replied, continuing to run his lips up and down the pale skin of Ianto's neck, hitting all the sensitive spots.

Ianto pulled back sharply, unable to go far on account of the kitchen bench he was backed up against.

'Jack, you can't use fabric softener on your hair!' he exclaimed.

'But we've run out of conditioner!'

Ianto growled and punched him on the arm. 'Idiot. If you bothered to look in the cupboard under the vanity, you would have found a new bottle. But, no. Instead you traipsed all the way to the laundry on the other side of the house and thought to yourself, "what's the stupidest thing I could do that would annoy Ianto today?" Did you at least make sure you washed it all out?'

'Close enough,' Jack shrugged. 'Stop making such a fuss. Fabric softener is just conditioner for clothes.'

'Right,' Ianto said, hands on hips, his desire to kiss Jack long forgotten. 'You're going to go back in there and rinse it again, good and proper,' he said, pointing Jack sternly back up the stairs to the bathroom.

Jack groaned in that same way teenagers did when their parents did something uncool, rolling his eyes and trudging back upstairs without a word, lest he say something he couldn't take back.

The second rinsing didn't help - however thorough it was - which in Jack's case, may or may not have been nearly as thorough as it needed to be. By late afternoon, Jack could feel his scalp beginning to itch and tingle, and by tea time, it was burning like fire, angry and red.

'I'm trying to feel sorry for you, but it's hard when you do such stupid things voluntarily,' Ianto said, helping hold Jack's head under the tap in the kitchen sink at the hub, letting the cold water run over the fiery rash that had broken out all over his head. His neck and shoulders were pink and itchy as well, having borne the residue as Jack showered, but those sensations were completely overridden by the pain further up.

'I didn't think it would make any difference,' Jack moaned, his voice muffled in the sink.

Ianto sighed, running gentle fingers through Jack's hair, trying to soothe the irritation. Only the smell of laundry soap was soothing his own mental irritation at Jack's stupidity.

'Like so many things you do wrong that all have the one thing in common: you didn't think.'

Owen finally checked him over once he'd gotten the itchiness down to manageable levels, his head was so cold from the water that it had dulled some of the irritation, despite the slightly rougher than usual toweling of his hair that Ianto had done. Similarly, Ianto could barely feel the tips of his fingers anymore, having spent so much time under the icy cold water themselves.

'Just a basic skin allergy,' Owen announced, having equally little sympathy for Jack. 'It'll clear itself up in a couple of days. Can't do much for the itching unfortunately. The topmost layer of skin will break and peel, letting new skin regenerate from underneath.'

He handed Ianto a tube of cream. 'You can use this to ease some of the sting, but it's hard to get to all of it because it's under his hair. You'll have to really massage it in, which might aggravate it more. And it'll do nothing for his hairstyle.'

'Maybe we should shave it all off,' Ianto suggested, 'as punishment for being so silly in the first place.'

'No one touches my hair!' Jack yelled, making sure they were both perfectly clear on that instruction. He hadn't changed it in over a hundred years, with the exception of that odd colouring job, and he wasn't about to let anyone change it now. Just the thought of being a skinhead filled him with horror.

'Well, enjoy your dandruff problem Jack. You're gonna be stuck with it for a while,' Owen said, leaving them to it.

Ianto held up the tube of cream.

'Is it too late to say I'm sorry?' Jack moped. He got the feeling that the cream was going to be anything but soothing.

'With you, it's almost always too late,' Ianto replied, but he was smiling when he said it. 'Think of it this way. You get a free head massage twice daily. Might be I want a little massage of my own in return as thanks,' he added, quirking an eyebrow suggestively at Jack.

Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto's hips and pulled him in close.

'That I think I can manage.'