m_findlow

Title: Tentative touches
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 473 - Tremble at slashthedrabble
Summary: Jack's confidence is in tatters, but he's not the only one.

Jack felt his breath stop as the door clicked clicked shut behind them, ensconcing them safely in Ianto's flat for the night. It should have felt nice, but Jack was suddenly ball of nerves.

He'd been the one who'd promised Ianto a nice night out, dinner and a movie. He thought that perhaps he could begin to try and make things right between them. They hadn't really talked much about him leaving, what he'd been doing and why. For Jack those memories were still too painful to voice. That he'd even plucked up the courage to ask Ianto out on a proper date had seemed like throwing himself off a cliff. He been back all of five minutes and he was expecting Ianto to just forgive him for leaving. Thank the goddesses he'd said yes.

Dinner hadn't quite gone to plan, and they'd spent the entire night talking about work, rather than Jack indulging in finding out more about the man that he'd fallen head over heels for. He'd wanted it to be intimate and personal, but every time the conversation steered itself away from work they found themselves stuck in awkward pauses.

The movie had been a bust as well, there being nothing particularly worth seeing, and committing themselves to sitting through two hours of bland storyline. He'd hoped that what came afterwards would make up for all of it.

It wasn't that they hadn't resumed their physical relationship since Jack had come back, but this was different. This was just them now.

Jack expected Ianto to be ravenous. Where he'd spent that last few weeks walking on eggshells, Ianto had been cool and calm. He'd grown somehow in the time Jack had been gone. Instead as he watched Ianto beginning to tackle the buttons on his shirt, he saw the way his hands trembled and shook, unable to get them undone with what would have normally been practised skill. He reached down and grabbed Ianto's hands in his own.

'What's wrong?' He searched those blue eyes for answers, seeing a deep sadness there that shouldn't have been.

'I didn't think you were coming back,' he whispered.

Ianto's word cut him deeply, his own nervousness returning. He'd been prepared for Ianto to be angry or upset at him, but he hated that his leaving had caused so much pain. He wished there'd been another way. He wished he'd never gone, never gotten the answers he didn't want, and all the heartache and the torture he'd been through, thinking he'd never again see his Ianto, all because of the stupid mistakes he'd made. In a world where Martha hadn't saved them all, Jack would have been responsible for Ianto's death, and it gnawed at him like a self fulfilling prophecy.

He found his own body trembling, wrapping his arms tightly around Ianto to stop himself from shaking.

'I tried so hard. All I wanted was to come back.' He just wished it hadn't taken him so long to realise it.