m_findlow

Title: A dance of dragons
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 506 - Costume at slashthedrabble
Summary: Ianto and Jack have a Halloween costume mix-up.

'We shouldn't have accepted it,' Jack complained, driving erratically on account of his mood.

'Well, I don't know what else I was supposed to do,' Ianto replied. 'They got our order mixed up somehow.' He was hardly overjoyed at being informed by the shop owner that they'd have to go around the back of the shop to pick up their costumes on account of the size. Ianto found the idea odd. How big could a Storm Trooper and a Darth Vader costume be? That should have been the first sign that something was wrong.

'We should have swapped it for something else,' Jack insisted. Why on Earth Ianto had let them walk out of there with the giant two-man Chinese dragon was madness.

'Jack, it's Halloween. Every costume in the place was already rented except for a handful of Disney princess outfits.'

Jack scowled at the light as it turned red on him. 'That might have been preferable.'

'Understood no circumstances were we going to show up looking like the drag queen element. UNIT have never invited Torchwood to any of their social gatherings. I certainly wasn't going to try and convince them that we were there to provide a bit of comic relief.'

'Ianto, let's be fair, I'm pretty sure they already think we're the comic relief.'

Ianto ran a frustrated hand over his face. 'I won't have us be their laughing stock. Do you know how many times we've bailed them out of trouble, or loaned them vital technology and expertise?'

'Hey, don't preach to me!' Jack retorted. 'I've been dealing with them longer than you have. I know exactly what they're like.'

Ianto sighed. 'This is a disaster.' Jack was right. They should have left the costume at the shop and done without. It would have been far easier and less embarrassing to turn up in their ordinary clothes. Perhaps they could lie and say they'd been busy all day attending to an emergency and hadn't had time to dress.

'Okay, this is going to sound a little crazy,' Jack began.

'Oh, good. You know how much I love crazy,' Ianto quipped.

'Go with me,' Jack pleaded. 'So, we've got a costume that needs both of us.'

'If you're asking to be the head end, forget it.' As Director of Torchwood Global, there was no way Ianto was being that arse end of anything. He'd literally be the butt of their jokes for all time.

'No, that's not it,' Jack replied. 'I was just thinking that what we really need, since we're stuck with this, is to make out as if this was our choice all along.'

'And how is that supposed to work?'

'Well, I've got a couple of contacts in old Chinatown. One of them is a master dragon dancer. He could teach us.'

'In four hours?'

'If we don't want to be the laughing stock of the party.'

Ianto sighed again. 'Chinatown it is.' They'd show those UNIT commanders that Torchwood was no joke.