m_findlow

Title: Too much
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: M (language)
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 519 - Kitten at slashthedrabble
Summary: Jack's overprotective behaviour is driving Ianto nuts.

'I need drugs!' Ianto demanded, waddling towards the medical bay, gripping that railing hard as he worked his way down the stairs to where Jez was sat, filling in paperwork.

Jez looked up at him. 'You can't have any,' the medic replied. 'You're pregnant. Consider yourself lucky I even let you have paracetamol for headaches.'

'Not for me,' Ianto snapped. 'For Jack. Prozac, diazepan, a fucking horse tranquiliser, I don't care. Just something!' he finished, sounding exasperated.

'What the heck for?' Jez asked, frowning at his boss who was usually so unflappable in all things except when it came to Jack, and even then he usually held back. 'Is there something wrong with him?'

'Yes! Every single time I make a sound, he rushes into a panic, thinking the worst and totally freaking out. It's not like I can help it if I suddenly get a twinge in my back, or my feet hurt or one of the babies decides to treat the inside of me like a football pitch. Jack practically has kittens over every single little thing. It's driving me absolutely bonkers. You'd think he was the one who was pregnant!'

'I'm sure he's just being a concerned parent,' Jez said, trying to placate the man who was doing admirably considering the fact that his hormones must have been all over the place, not to mention dealing mentally with being the first man in modern history to be preparing to give birth. Jez didn't think he'd cope nearly so well, and was quite happy to leave childbirth to any future girlfriends.

'Ianto!' came Jack's voice from across the hub searching him out. Ianto groaned. 'I'll give you a thousand quid bonus if you can find a way to hide me in one of those morgue drawers.'

Jez grimaced in sympathy. There was no way he was fitting anywhere even twice as spacious in his current condition.

'There you are!' Jack cried out, leaning over the railing and staring down into the medical bay. 'I got worried when you said you were feeling a bit run down and then you disappeared on me without a word. I thought I was going to find you collapsed unconscious somewhere. Could you maybe check him over for me, Jez?'

Ianto gave Jez a look that very clearly said "see what I mean?"

Jez gave Jack a thumbs up signal. 'All good,' he called out. 'Nothing to worry about.'

'Well, that's a relief,' Jack said. 'Maybe you should go home and rest for a bit anyway, Ianto. I can drive you home now,' he offered. 'I'll just go get my keys.'

Ianto sighed as Jack departed. 'Please, if there's any good in this world, help me,' he begged.

Jez rested a hand on his shoulder. 'If I gave you something, just a low dosage to take the edge off and give you a bit of peace, mind, do you think you could slip it in his coffee?'

Ianto smiled. 'Is the Pope catholic?'