Torchwood: Fanfic: Nighttime noises

[m_findlow]

Title: Nighttime noises
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Rhys, Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG-15
Length: 1,314 words
Content notes: Spoilers for Audiobook - Ghost Train
Author notes: Written for juliet316's prompt "Any, any, all the things that go bump in the night" at fic_promptly
Summary: Rhys is discovering the downside of bunking at Ianto's flat.

Rhys turned over on the camp bed again, banging his elbow against the side of the washing machine and just barely managing not to curse the action. He'd finally managed to fall asleep only to be woken by... well, truth be told, he didn't really want to think about it.

There was another sound and Rhys winced at hearing it. Dear God, was that what he thought it was? He turned over to face the other way, but another sound punctuated the tiny space he was occupying. Seriously, he began to think, who built a flat with the laundry parked right next to the main bedroom? Not that he expected too many people were in the habit of having their guests sleep in their laundry, but still.

Another sound. Okay, that one was definitely Jack, and definitely something he had never, in his whole entire life, ever wanted to hear the man utter. It was followed up by a similar utterance from the man whose laundry he was now sleeping in, also high on his list of sounds he didn't want his new landlord making.

Jack was going to owe him big time, Rhys decided. Shoved out of a train flying through space, somehow not dying in the process and now completely in charge of apparently saving the world from ending, with only Ianto to help him.

Sleeping in a laundry wasn't so bad really. Not when you had someone was organised as Ianto, who made sure he had a camp bed and lots of blankets, a fresh pillow that had never been slept on, and anything else he could want. In exchange for putting on the odd load of washing, cooking meals and helping wash the dishes, he could stay here as long as he liked. Oh, and all he had to do was stop the world ending in between. No biggie.

In fairness he supposed, Ianto had warned him that Jack might come over and stay the night, and in fairness, it was his bloody flat. If he wanted his boyfriend to come over Rhys could hardly say no. He just hadn't imagined, or perhaps had avoided imagining, that they would do anything other than sit together on the sofa and watch TV before turning in for the night. After all, the world was still trying to end every other day in between where it wasn't Rhys' responsibility to do anything about it. Who had the energy to do more than that? Torchwood agents, so it turned out. And they were... well, if Rhys' imagination was anything to go by, not quite PG rated in their personal lives.

He'd tried to go to sleep and avoid having to hear any of it, but it had been one thing to turn over and ignore what he thought sounded like rather passionate kissing and maybe a little undressing. Now they'd upgraded to the main event, and try as he might, the sound and the things he dreamt up in his mind that went with it were simply more than a simple man like him could take.

'Oh! Mmmm... Yeah...' That one came through the walls loud and clear. That was not the sound of someone getting a back massage.

He wanted to bang on the wall just to remind Ianto he was in here, but then he remembered - those bloody memory pills. The ones Ianto was taking that were supposed to be making it easier for him to lie about knowing anything that was going on about how Rhys had been sent back in time to save them all from utter destruction. Ianto probably wouldn't even know it was him in here. If only Rhys could get a stash of those little pills so that he wouldn't have to remember the noises he'd just heard.

'Yeah, so good... Mmmm.... Harder... God!'

Oh, that had done it. There was only so much he could take. What would Gwen think, having Rhys here listening to them going at it like some pervert mooching around the red light district in Amsterdam? God, he'd never tell her. Never ever. This time he did throw his fist at the wall, letting it bang loudly.

The noises next door stopped for a moment. 'What was that?' he heard Jack ask.

'Dunno.'

'Sounded like it came from the laundry,' Rhys heard Jack surmise.

Oh, bollocks, Rhys suddenly realised. What if Jack came in here to check what had made the noise! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why couldn't he have just stuck his fingers in his ears and suffered through the worst of it? There was no way of explaining his way out of this one. There was no way Jack would believe him he said he'd had a row with Gwen, and Ianto was the honest sort who would probably just spill the beans anyway.

Jack's instructions had been pretty clear. Ianto was the only one who could know. If Jack found out what happened in the future, the whole thing would unravel. It wasn't so much the world ending part that worried Rhys, though the world ending would be pretty bad. It was the idea that he was doing all of this to save Gwen. Sometimes it was easy to forget about that when he was chopping up carrots or folding Ianto's clean shirts for ironing later. He'd seen it happen once already - Gwen and Ianto rushing down the train station subway tunnel and then a huge fireball explosion emanating outward from it that surely killed them both. That was what he was trying to stop happening.

'Lemme go check,' Ianto offered, tearing Rhys out of his panicked thoughts.

'You've got thirty seconds,' Jack warned him.

Rhys froze as the sound of footsteps grew louder then suddenly stopped. When the laundry door opened a few inches, he was first blinded by the light and then terrified he'd been uncovered.

'Rhys!' Ianto whispered as loudly as he dared. 'What are you doing?'

Rhys was surprised to find Ianto actually clothed in pajama bottoms and a loose cotton top. It was only at the very last second he'd realised Ianto might throw open the door, standing there in nothing but his birthday suit. All that moaning and groaning and he wasn't even undressed yet? He didn't even want to think how things might escalate from there given what's he'd heard so far. 'I couldn't sleep. You two were making so much noise, and...' Rhys paused, his eyebrows knotting together in annoyance. 'You forgot I was here, didn't you?'

A flash of guilt crossed Ianto's face. 'Yes! But it's not what you think,' he whispered, catching Rhys' eye roll returning it with his own little look of annoyance. 'It's not everyday you have someone living in your laundry! It's easy to forget that kind of thing!'

'Ianto! Don't make me come out there and drag you back to bed! If I find out you think folding socks is sexier than me...' Jack warned.

Iantos expression turned panicky. 'I've gotta go. Just... I'll try and be quiet, but Jack...' He appeared worried and indecisive. 'Look. Give it two minutes and see if you can sneak into the bathroom. I've got earplugs in the top drawer.'

'Ianto! I'm about to come out there and carry you back to bed! Everything okay?'

'It's fine!' he called back. 'Just the ironing board come loose from its spot in the cupboard. Don't want it falling out.' He spun and gave Rhys a threatening look that caught Rhys completely by surprise. 'And not another peep out of you!' Ianto warned him, pointing a decisive finger in his direction. 'I've been trying to cure plague all day, and to be honest, I really need this right now.' He shut the laundry door before Rhys could reply.

'Well that's me told,' he thought. 'God I hope those earplugs are industrial strength!'

Comments

[bk_forever]

Poor Rhys, such prime entertainment is wasted on him!