Torchwood: Fanfic: Sweet treats

[m_findlow]

Title: Sweet treats
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 985 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for badly_knitted's prompt "Any, any, a fizzy green drink" at fic_promptly
Summary: There's only one kind of spider Jack likes at Halloween.

'That is the single most disgusting thing I've ever seen,' Ianto declared, pulling a face at the row of concoctions Jack had lined up on their kitchen counter. Some were black, some orange, some red, but the most disturbing ones of all were green. And all of them had a layer of white froth on top, like multi-colored pints of beer, excepting they had stripey red and white straws poking out the top.

'They're spiders,' Jack replied, looking pleased by his culinary efforts, slipping an extra snake lolly into each of them, having them draped over the sides of the glasses whilst the top of each glass continued to foam. 'We've got cola, raspberry, orange and lime.'

Ianto quirked an eye at his lover. 'I thought you were against spiders at Halloween?'

Their whole house had been decked out to the nth degree with plastic pumpkins, images of ghouls stuck on the walls, and candles glowing eerily next to cauldrons full of candy. There was even a full size zombie wax work, and another of a weevil, each haunting spare corners of the living room and hallway respectively. Added to that was more fake cobweb than had ever been strung in any house in living memory, along with black bats dangling from the ceiling by invisible fishing line, but there was not a single spider to be seen.

Even in their plastic form, the eight legged creatures were far too lifelike for Jack's liking. Last year, just for giggles, Ianto had snuck one up into the cobwebs that adorned the hallway, right near the door where trick or treaters would be greeted. The scream that tore through the house was utterly priceless, as was the look of horror when Ianto was called in to kill it, casually reaching up and plucking it from the web with his bare hand. He'd paid the price later for his moment of self-indulgent anarchy, but Jack had put his foot down firmly this year, stating that there were to be no spiders of any kind in the house. He didn't want to have his guard down thinking a real one had taken up residence in their house but that it was fake and that he could just pick it up without fear or retribution.

'These are the only kind of spiders permitted,' Jack replied.

Ianto grimaced. 'They still look disgusting.'

'Isn't that the whole point?'point? Jack said, beaming at the spread of food laid out on the table. 'Now they match in with the Jack-o-lantern Welsh cakes, the tombstone brownies and the ghostly marshmallow bars. Creepy and disgusting is pretty much the order of the day.'

'No. I mean, as in they look so disgusting I don't even think I could drink it.'

'Trust me, they taste awesome. Just don't drink more than two or you might feel a little bit sick afterwards.'

Ianto rolled his eyes. 'That sounds like the voice of experience talking '

Jack grinned. 'Even I can't take that much sugar in one hit. Soda, ice-cream and lollies all in one. It's like hitting the glucose lottery.'

'Well, just remember to tell the kids that when they get here in about five minutes,' Ianto warned him. 'I don't want Rhi tearing shreds off me because the kids are throwing up, especially if it's going to come back up bright lime green.' He was already worried enough that they'd make themselves sick on too many lollies. Jack didn't have an off switch when it came to sugar, but he could withstand its physical effects far better that a few prepubescent children could.

'Try one?' Jack asked, pushing a black cola one towards him. 'I put a red snake in it just for you.'

Ianto peered at it with some skepticism. 'Really?'

'It's just like affogato,' Jack argued, 'but with soda.'

Affogato in Ianto's opinion was coffee ruined. Tepid and too sugary on account of the ice-cream. He was pretty certain he'd told Jack that much any number of times. 'Ice-cream gives me a headache.'

'It's half melted. Just try it.' He caught the look of indecision on Ianto's face. 'Try it and I'll let you have a chocolate frog.'

Ianto narrowed his eyes at Jack, hating being blackmailed like this. The chocolate frogs were Ianto's favourite Halloween treat. They were the kind of dark, slightly bitter chocolate that cost a fortune and were reserved for adult Halloween treats and not the general hoi polloi, but  and Jack had gone and hidden them on him. Despite searching half the afternoon for them, Jack had outfoxed him completely.

He took the glass just as Jack grabbed for one of the bright green ones, raising it to clink it. He sipped through the straw, finding it hard to suck up on account of the ice-cream, making it thick and slow moving. He managed about half before setting it back down on the bench, already feeling giddy from the sickening sweetness of it, and a slight pain right at the top of his head from the anticipated ice-cream headache that ensued. 'You're right,' he said. 'The kids are definitely not having more than one of these.' They'd be hyperactive to the point of needing hospitalization, or if not, then from coming down off that high and descending into some kind of sugar coma.

Jack sucked on his straw until there was nothing left but a bit of foam in the bottom of the glass. He finished off by taking the snake lolly and dangling it into his mouth, inhaling it in one go. He grinned but his teeth and tongue were both now the same lurid shade of green. 'Want that chocolate frog now?'

Ianto cringed, feeling his stomach rebel at the thought, even if the bitter chocolate might eliminate the creamy sweetness left by Jack's concoction. 'No thanks. I think I've just hit my sugar quota for the night.'

 

Comments

[mscatmoon.livejournal.com]

Cute. I got a sugar high, just from reading this! ;)

[bk_forever]

I think one sip of one of those would be more than enough for me! Trust Jack to come up with the sweetest, most sugar-filed drinks in existence!

Thanks for the fill!