JMDC Challenge 165 - All alone

[m_findlow]

Title: All alone
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Gwen
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 788 words
Content notes: Spoilers for CoE
Author notes: Written for enchanted_jae's JMDC Challenge 165 - Alone/Lonely
Summary: Gwen is at a loss as to what to do with herself.

Gwen sat there and worried at the loose thread hanging from the end of the sofa cushion, wrapping it around her finger and tugging at it, wondering if it would come out altogether or just get caught around her finger.

She stared around the empty apartment. It looked just the same as it always did, haphazardly messy with small patches of attempted neatness, personal effects stuffed in every nook and cranny. It felt like home and yet it didn't.

Rhys should have been here, but he was at work. Funny to think that he was working whilst she was sitting around here doing nothing. Rhys got to go back to his job after everything, but what was Gwen now? Unemployed? Did Torchwood still exist if she was the only one left? Would she get a paycheck at the end of the month? She'd never really stopped to think about where the money had come from. It just always did. She supposed that there'd always been someone else on the other end of it, making sure the money went into her bank account. Maybe it was an automatic thing or maybe it would all just stop now that there was no one left. She'd never stopped to consider who took the time out of their day to make sure everyone got paid. Torchwood must have had a stash of money in an account somewhere. It didn't just appear out of nowhere, but now where was it? Which bank was looking after the account? She didn't even know that much. There were so many things she realised she'd just taken for granted.

She flicked the TV on and then back off again when she saw the news showing pictures of the bay area once more. Now that the kids were all back to normal, and the rest of the innoculation programme supposedly having been scrapped because the threat was considered eliminated, the journalists were looking for something else to report. The explosion at Roald Dahl Plass was still getting a bit of mileage as the only other interesting thing having happened in the past few days.

She couldn't look at those pictures. It hurt too much to think that just a few days ago, that place had been her whole life. She'd loved her job and she'd loved her friends, but all of it was gone now, just a pile of rubble where once there'd been laughter and excitement and so many brilliant memories.

Jack had gone. Disappeared without a word. He hadn't come back to Cardiff, hadn't come knocking on her door, asking her to tag along on some new rift alert or adventure. Maybe they didn't need the hub - not right away in any case. They could still do stuff. They'd proven that up to a point. They could have had all the resources and technology in the world and it wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference to change what had happened though. Jack and Ianto would still have gone and confronted the alien and Ianto would still be dead.

What was Gwen supposed to do now? Was she supposed to wait around for Jack to come back, assuming he even would? Was she supposed to just hook her laptop back up to the old Torchwood servers and just carry on like nothing had happened? She didn't know what do to. She'd never felt so alone and lost in all her life.

Could she go back to the police force, maybe? Would they take her back, knowing she was pregnant? Knowing that she'd snubbed them a hundred times over as Torchwood swanned into police crimes scenes, taking over. Could she even do it to herself? How could you do any other job after this? Rhys would tell her not to worry about it - that he could support them both for now and that they had enough saved up to last out for a bit. It was true, but how was she supposed to just sit here at home alone all day? Six more months and her days would be filled with feeding and changing and sleepless nights, but right now she didn't think she could last another six minutes in here. The tiny life inside her didn't make her feel any less alone.

She stared hard at the door. Any second now Jack's fist was going to be pounding on it, she just knew. He was going to need her to come with him on another adventure. It was just a matter of time. Jack wouldn't ever leave her. She just had to wait out the loneliness a little bit longer and then everything would be okay, or at least as okay as it could be.

Comments

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

Aw

:(

She needs some action, literal action, not hubba hubba action.

:)

Thanks for the entry!

[bk_forever]

Maybe Gwen could try appreciating that she's still alive, she still has her husband and her baby, she's only lost her job while Jack has lost everything that mattered to him. She's the lucky one.