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Title: Collision course
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Lucia
Author: m_findlow
Rating: M
Length: 1,239 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] badly_knitted's prompt "Any, any, Car crash" at fic_promptly
Summary: Jack learns that having sex in a car is easier when the car is stationary.

'You are going to be in so much trouble!' Lucia said, grabbing Jack by the arm and hanging heavily on it, unable to wipe the grin from her face.

He'd found it sort of amusing at the time, more glad that he hadn't killed anyone, especially Lucia. There was just something about the adrenaline that rushed though you after a major event that made even the most dire things seems hilarious. At least they were both still around to laugh about it. It was more than could be said for the Vauxhall station wagon that served as Torchwood's main company car.

Perhaps if Jack hadn't been trying to steal kisses with Lucia whilst he'd been navigating the quiet nighttime streets with only half an eye on the road, and barely a hand on the steering wheel. He wasn't entirely to blame - or at least that was the story he was going to tell them when he turned up in the morning.

Someone would eventually need to go out to investigate whatever the rift decided to dump on them, and would begin to wonder why the wagon wasn't in its usual car park up in the residential end of Bute Street. The keys of course would be where they always were, in the clear glass ashtray that sat on the coffee table in front of the battered vinyl sofa. That's where Jack would leave them. As for the car? Well, the two of them were currently watching as a massive tow truck hooked up a large chain to its rear, ready to drag its sorry state to the body repair shop. Jack didn't want to be around when the call came through to the registered owner from the grease monkeys that would survey the damage. It didn't take a genius to know the car was a complete write off.

'Oh, shit!' Lucia exclaimed. 'We forgot about that thing in the boot!'

Oh, shit was right as Jack saw the back end of the car tipped at a thirty five degree angle by the tow line. They definitely did not want any mechanics finding that in the boot when they got it to the shop. The sedation was probably good for at least ten hours but after that... Well, things could get messy.

'Excuse, me! Excuse me! Hey you!' Jack yelled at the towie, running up towards the cabin. 'We left some stuff in the boot.'

'I just got her all hitched up,' the tow truck driver complained. 'Too late now.'

'I know. Real sorry, but we really need it. Please.'

He let out a tired sigh. This wouldn't be the first time someone had forgotten something and left it behind. Usually it was only a wallet or some house keys, or maybe a bag full of clothes. It wasn't worth his pay grade to worry about what could be in the boot that was so important. He hit the button and the chain began to loosen, dropping the car back down level with the road.

'Is there a towel or something in there that we can wrap it in?' Lucia asked.

Jack raised a curious eyebrow at her. 'I wasn't planning on taking it to the beach with us,' he replied.

'I know, but we can't exactly be walking around with this thing. People will see.'

'It's the middle of the night. Who's gonna see?'

'All those nosy curtain twitchers. You know what they're like. The later it is the more suspicious they get of random people wandering the streets. Especially if they look like they're carrying an alien.'

He wasn't going to argue with her. Mostly because he'd be the one having to do the carrying.

They rummaged around in the boot and the back seat but nothing was forthcoming that was going to conceal something the size of a small feline apex predator.

'Can I suggest that the Torchwood wagon be better provisioned from now on?' Jack asked. There wasn't so much as a bottle of water to be found, not that bottles of water would be a thing for at least another twenty years.

Lucia looked hard at Jack. It was a look that worried him. It was that one that said "I've come up with a cunning plan". 'It's going to have to be the coat.'

'Seriously?' Jack whined, knowing he wasn't going to like it. 'That thing is going to shed all over it. D'you know how hard it is to get hair out of a wool coat? Not to mention the fact that I'm allergic to cats.'

'Maybe this will teach you to be more careful, then,' she said, already tugging it from his shoulders before he could argue. Normally he wouldn't mind her stripping him down. Most nights together ended with some variation on the theme.

'Me?' Jack cried. 'Don't think you're not going to share some of the blame,' he said.

'How can I be at fault?' she teased. 'I wasn't the one behind the wheel.' She smirked at him. 'Then again, neither were you, really.'

At least he still had his pants on at the time, he thought, though he'd been very close to letting Lucia undo his belt. It wouldn't have been the first hand job he'd been given in a car whilst driving, but she didn't need to know that. She was so naughty when she was out on cases alone with Jack. Now he knew why the rest of them didn't let the pair of them work cases alone. Lovers sometimes made great teams, but sometimes, they didn't know when not to cross the line into personal relations.

It was hard. They'd only been dating a few months, so it was still very much the honeymoon phase, where they couldn't get enough of tearing each other's clothes off. That Jack only encouraged her didn't help his case. If they'd just been able to curb their libido for another half an hour they could have dumped the creature off at the hub and then gone back to her place for several exhausting hours of upsetting the neighbours with the outrageously squeaky bed and the even more outrageously loud cries of pleasure.

'You don't suppose we could blame the alien, do you?' Jack suggested.

'What, you mean the unconscious one locked in the boot?'

'We could say it wasn't unconscious, or it was in the back seat and we got the dose of sedative wrong.' An alien going mental in the back seat and providing sufficient distraction to the driver that they clipped the corner of a signpost and went spinning down the road until the front of the car finally crunched into a low stone wall. It was plausible, or at less no less plausible than Lucia trying to give Jack a hand job whilst driving.

'You want me to lie for you?' Lucia asked, her eyes glittering with naughtiness.

Jack wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. 'You'd be my little alibi, wouldn't you, baby? I'd do it for you.'

She grinned at him and let one arm snake around him whilst the other one reached down and pulled the zipper on his fly back up, having been forgotten in all the commotion. 'I might want something in return,' she purred, 'since I'm sticking my neck out for you.'

Jack pressed his face close. 'I'm sure we can come to some kind of mutually beneficial arrangement.'

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