m_findlow

Title: Save the Elves
Fandom: West Wing
Characters: Donna, Josh, CJ, Toby
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 512 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for lannamichael's prompt "West Wing, any, The White House has requested that the news media not run any photos of dead elves" at fic_promptly
Summary: Christmas has taken a bizarre turn.

'Donna!' Josh yelled.

'What's up?' she said, poking her head in, jolly little santa hat perched on her perfectly blonde hair.

'Take that off,' he said, dropping a stack of files on his desk and walking out of his office, forcing her to trail behind him to keep up.

'You're such a grinch,' she said, but taking it off anyway. 'Where's your Christmas spirit?'

'Christmas has been put on ice,' CJ said as Josh stepped into her office, Donna in tow. Toby was already in there, dour brown suit looking every bit equally grinch.

'See? What did I tell you?' Josh replied.

'Every year this job gets more insane,' CJ complained. 'I've got a meeting with the press and eleven and I've been asked to tell them not to run any photos of dead elves. Danny's going to have a field day with this.'

'Dead elves?' Josh said.' Is that even a thing?'

'Apparently someone on YouTube has begun a string of videos denouncing the spirit of Christmas by making, she picked up the piece of paper for the exact wording, "gritty and honest insights into the reality of the most commercial event on the planet".'

'Elves don't exist, CJ,' Josh said. 'Any more than reasonable Republican senators.'

'The videos are supposed to depict the atrocities committed on the city's poorest and homeless, whose only paid work is to dress up at Christmas and suffer shin kicking and hair pulling by spoilt little rich children, before returning to their slums to die from exposure and malnutrition,' she quoted.

'Seriously?' Josh pulled his phone from his pocket and ran a search, watching one of the so called videos. Donna leaned over his shoulder, taking a peek.

'Oh, my God,' she said, watching as a man dressed as an elf was worked on by a paramedic team out on the streets in the snow.

'They can't be serious,' Josh said. 'People aren't actually going to think the Bartlett administration has anything to do to with this. Why aren't we promoting it as giving employment opportunities to those most in need?'

'They're calling it elven genocide,' CJ replied. 'They're saying there's as many as a dozen elves have died this Christmas season already.'

'That's so sad,' Donna said.

'That's ridiculous,' Josh added. 'Who's going to believe that nonsense? Is the White House seriously sanctioning a media ban on dead homeless elves?'

'Oh, yeah, it happens to Jews and it's okay, but as soon as you start kicking the arses of some homeless Christian elves, everyone's up in arms,' Toby quipped.

'You're welcome to take the briefing, Toby,' CJ warned. 'A bit of religious deflection will definitely take the edge off the whole thing.'

'So, we send them back to the North Pole!' Toby replied.

'Where are you going?' Josh asked as Donna rushed off. 'I need you to get me those briefing papers by eleven before those guys from the Farmers Union tear me to pieces.'

'I need to go buy some stuff for the local food bank so elves don't starve on the streets!' she replied.