m_findlow

Title: Share and share alike
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Owen, Jack, Suzie, Tosh, Ianto
Word Count: 500 words
Rating: PG.
Notes: Written for Challenge 146 - Pieces at anythingdrabble
Summary: Owen has identified a flaw in the team lunch system.

Owen eyed off the pizza box with its one remaining slice of pepperoni and double cheese crust. He was still hungry after this morning's autopsy, an alien with skin so thick that it had destroyed the teeth on his electric saw. He was forced to resort to cutting the outer skin away by hand with whatever tools Ianto could supply him, which looked like something he'd picked up down at the local hardware store. Owen knew that come tomorrow morning he was going to have an ache in his shoulder and elbow from the effort. Not that anyone around here would probably care.

He took a pull on his bottle of beer, and in the time it took him to set it back down on the table Jack had reached across and snaffled the final slice, inhaling half of it in one obscene mouthful.

'Oi! That was mine!'

Jack's cheeks were puffed out full of pizza but it didn't stop him replying mid-chew. 'I didn't see your name on it. You want the other half?' he asked, holding out what was left of it, having eaten it backwards so all the melted cheesy crust was gone.

'No thanks.' Owen sighed. 'This whole pizza system doesn't work anymore. Not since you turned up,' he said, directing his comments at Ianto who was still nibbling on his own slice, napkin tucked into his collar. He got a raised eyebrow for his trouble.

'It's just pizza, Owen,' Suzie said.

'Yeah, but when there was four of us, we could get two pizzas which is sixteen pieces. Four each. Basic math, no arguments and everybody got their share. Five into sixteen doesn't go. You only get three now and there's one left over.'

'I'm okay with three,' Tosh said.

'I only had the fourth so I could skip dinner,' Suzie added.

'I did order garlic bread and coleslaw to go with it,' Ianto argued.

Owen snorted. 'Yeah, didn't see you eating any of it.'

'I don't want garlic breath afterwards.'

'Sounds about right. Bet Jack isn't a fan of the post lunch garlic snog.'

'Hey, I never turn down a kiss from a sexy young man,' Jack argued, sending Ianto's cheeks bright red at the insinuation. 'Ianto is just playing hard to get.'

'Too much information, Harkness,' Owen groaned. 'And it doesn't fix the problem.'

Jack finished chewing the remainder of his pizza and threw back his glass of water to wash it down. 'Okay, so the way I see it is this. We've got three people happy with their share and two people who want four pieces. Buying a third pizza is just a waste since we'll have way too much left over that Ianto insists on chucking out. That means one of us is going to have to live with three pieces. So,' he said, clapping his hands together, 'we naked wrestle for the last piece. Whoever wins gets it.'

Owen's face fell. 'You know, I think I've lost my appetite now.'