m_findlow

Title: Trading places
Fandom: Torchwood
Prompt: Blackmail at hc_bingo
Wordcount: 13,803 words
Rating: M
Warnings: N/A
Summary: Ianto will have to team up with an unlikely ally to save Jack

They'd only been in the car ten minutes and already John had started fidgeting. He pressed buttons, twirled dials and had begun rummaging through various compartments. It grated on Ianto's nerves. Not because he was fidgeting, but because it was exactly the same thing that Jack did when he was bored in the passenger seat. And John was the whole reason why it was him, and not Jack, that was sat there right now.

'Just sit there and don't move!' Ianto yelled.

He caught the small smirk on John's face before he complied with the order, and was annoyed at himself for losing his temper. If they were going to get through this, he needed to keep his emotions in check, if for no other reason than it seemed to amuse John. He'd been going to call Gwen and tell her what had happened, then thought of the vitriolic tongue lashing he'd get for his troubles, and decided against it. As if today wasn't bad enough already.

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as the light turned green.

'So, where exactly are we supposed to find this thing? Your instructions were somewhat vague.' Vague? London was all Hart had given him. A three and a half hour drive. He couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't a tactic to get him out of Cardiff, and out of the way.

John muffled a response in a poor imitation of a Punch and Judy voice.

'John!' he said, glaring balefully in his direction.

John returned the look innocently.

'But you said I couldn't move.'

Like that's ever stopped you, Ianto thought, but refrained from saying it out loud. The tensing in his arms and shoulders said plenty on the matter as it was.

'You need to stop taking yourself so seriously. It'll cause premature wrinkles. The device is somewhere in the archives at the Ministry of Defence.'

Bloody hell, Ianto thought. 'And how are we supposed to get in there?'

'Hello? Wrist strap?'

'So we're driving halfway across England, when you could have just teleported there? Why?'

'Oh that! Well, the exact location's a bit fuzzy. See, when I planned on hiding it here on Earth, I didn't really have anywhere particular in mind. I was just going to cool my heels for a few days. Take in some earthly delights.

I was at bar and there were these girls. Mmm, they really knew how to party! Anyway, there was this one, she was really something. Always had a thing for the brilliant science types. Convinced her to show me something amazing at her work, so off we went. She was showing off some quantum computer prototype she was working on, and I may have slipped the device onto one of the shelves whilst I was there. Seemed as good a place as any. I wasn't planning on coming back to get it. Figured I'd take the money and run. Oh, and did I mention I was very, very drunk? Can't even remember if we had sex, but if we did I'm sure it was good. It always is.'

'So basically you knew she worked for MoD, but you have no idea where MoD is, and where you hid it?'

'Correction. I found out she worked for MoD afterwards. It's in their archives, somewhere.' He waved his hand about vaguely. 'They all look the same to me. Did I mention the very drunk part?'

'Brilliant.' Ianto refrained from saying more.

'You get us there, and I'll get us in.'

'You couldn't just look them up in the phone book and go get it yourself, rather than involve us?'

'Thought you might be able to pull some strings. And I missed your happy smiling faces. If you want, you can leave the entire rescue operation in my hands, and go back to polishing the silverware.' John offered.

'No way I'm trusting you to save Jack. And Torchwood don't have any sway at MoD.' This was one of those times when "beyond the government and outside the police" had its downside.

'Guess we'll just have to break in the old fashioned way, then.'

Ianto didn't like the idea of breaking in anywhere. He didn't like Hart's plan full stop, but perhaps if they just gave these guys what they wanted, they'd let Jack go without a fight.

Hart paused for a moment before speaking again.

'Jack designed this car didn't he?'

Ianto kept his eyes fixed on the road.

'It's flashy and pretentious. Just like him. No sense of class.'

Ianto liked the SUV. John's comments made him realise why. There were little bits of Jack everywhere, just like the hub. It made him feel safe and reassured.

'I like it. It's sturdy and reliable.' What he meant was Jack's sturdy and reliable. Unlike you. He knew very well John understood his meaning.

'Not the Jack I remember.'

'He's changed,' Ianto said through gritted teeth.

'Who's to say he won't change again? You don't know him like I do. Gorsian cats don't change their spots.'

'If that's true, then I shouldn't trust you either.'

'Probably not.'

'That's encouraging.'

They were silent for a few minutes as Ianto glided them expertly through the busy arterial roads and on to the motorway. It was going to be a long drive.

John stared out the window. He was beyond bored already. He'd been staring into the rear vision mirror hoping to catch a glimpse of Ianto watching him, but his eyes remained fixed on the road.

'Am I going to get the silent treatment, or are you always this friendly? '

Silence.

'You really don't like me, do you?'

Still no response. John turned slightly.

'Doesn't the fact that I came back to help last time, count for anything?'

Ianto didn't want to be reminded about "last time", but John kept pushing.

'You'd all have been dead if it wasn't for me,' he added, relaxing back into the seat.

The SUV suddenly swerved hard and braked. John reacted, bracing himself against the car door. Ianto had thrown the car into the emergency lane. He turned towards Hart, his face full of fury.

'They did die, in case you've forgotten! And it's your fault they're dead! '

Ianto surprised even himself at the sudden outburst. He hadn't expected those feelings to be sitting so close to the surface. It felt just as raw and painful now as it had done on that very first day. Then again, perhaps John being back had brought them to the forefront. Perhaps now was the opportunity to finally come to grips with what had happened.

Torchwood didn't do counselling. Who could you tell it to, and more importantly who would believe any of it? Sure, they had each other, but in the six months past, they hadn't really talked about it. They'd just gotten on with the job. And most days, that was all there was time for.

Even the funeral service was rescheduled to fit in between crises. Ianto supposed they should have been grateful to get through the service uninterrupted in the end, though if he'd had his choice that afternoon, he might very well have chosen to let the world burn and be damned with it. What was the point in being able to save the world if you couldn't even save your friends?

Gwen had probably coped the best of the three of them. Then again, she had Rhys for support.

She'd made a conscious effort to be more friendly and helpful towards Ianto. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the effort. After all, they hadn't exactly got off on the right foot. Not when one of the first things he did was nearly get her killed, thanks to the incident with the cyberwoman. Then there was his fledgling relationship with Jack, and the rift it caused between him and Gwen, whilst she still had a crush on Jack, even right up to, and including, her own wedding night. After that she'd finally settled a bit and accepted that there was more to him and Jack than just a bit of casual sex. Tosh and Owen's deaths had brought them closer together than ever before.

They'd gotten in more than a few scrapes since, and they'd had to rely on each other to get themselves out of trouble. He wouldn't change his relationship with Gwen for the world, but it was just one more reminder that things would never go back to the way they were before.

He could sense she wanted to talk about it, but couldn't ever find the right moment. He didn't think there ever would be a right moment. He also didn't know if he even wanted to talk about it. Eventually she'd stopped trying. Maybe she'd found she could talk more easily with Jack, though based on his own experience, he doubted it. Jack didn't want to talk about it either.

He and Jack should have been able to hold each other together, but even in that they failed miserably. The first few days were fairly normal, all things considered. They came into work and got on with things as best they could, but then Jack had shut down. They worked, and they ate together, and they had sex, but they didn't talk about it. They hardly talked about anything. It was like living with a stranger, or perhaps a ghost. Jack had become distant, not just from him, but from Gwen as well. Ianto didn't know what to say to him to broach the gap that was widening before his eyes. Gwen saw it too, and he saw the way she watched him trying to hold it together for the both of them. It was almost like part of Jack had died as well. Ianto was mourning the loss of Tosh and Owen, but for Jack it was more like mourning the loss of everyone he'd ever known. That was the difference. Ianto couldn't bear to burden Jack with his own grief on top everything else, and so he'd held onto it, letting it fester inside while he watched his lover doing the same thing.

Eventually Jack stepped back out of the darkness and became more his old self, his grieving period seemingly over, but by that time, Ianto couldn't find the words to say to express the weight of immovable sadness still trapped inside him. Better that Jack was back to normal than to drag him back under.

Ianto wasn't sure how long he'd been sat there, mindlessly staring at John. Staring through him was more accurate. His chest was heaving up and down with effort, and his cheek felt wet, head spinning with emotions he suddenly couldn’t control, and more than he could contain. He'd kept them closely guarded for months, but now they were spilling over. Even now, he still couldn't find the words to say, and he didn't want to share those feelings with John. If he couldn't share them with Jack, he didn't want to share them with anybody. Especially not John.

He switched his head back to the windscreen and the road ahead, trying to calm the raging tide. He didn't expect the warm hand that rested upon on his arm.

'I'm truly am sorry. I only wanted to help Jack.'

Ianto let out a shuddering breath.

'He told you about what happened that day?' He was referring to the day that Gray was taken. The day Jack's father had died. The worst day of Jack's life.

Ianto nodded solemnly, keeping his gaze fixed straight.

'He never forgave himself for what happened to Gray. I wanted to be the one who found him and brought him home. I wanted Jack to be redeemed. He'd spent this entire life since that day hating himself for what had happened. I wanted to redeem myself as well. I had no idea how badly those creatures had broken his spirit and corrupted his soul. Better I should have killed him than let Jack see what he'd become. If I could go back and change it, I would. Now Jack has to live out the rest of his days, knowing what became of his brother. And so do I.'

Eventually Ianto started the car up again, turning back out on to the motorway, still not looking at John.

'We're good now?' asked John.

'Not even close.'

Chapter three...