Fandomweekly Challenge 77 - Hero's reward

[m_findlow]

Title: Hero's reward
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG. Spoilers for Big Finish audioplay "Outbreak"
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 77 - Confession at fandomweekly
Summary: Ianto doesn't see the point in Jack being cagey about his feelings anymore.

Watching the city rebuild itself in the wake of adversity was one of the things Ianto loved best about this job. You just shouldn't mess with the Welsh. They always bounced back stronger than before, and this was no exception. Yes, there'd been terrible deaths, both from the virus and because of it, but the city would live to fight another day. Torchwood would live to fight another day.

'How are you doing?' Jack asked. Ianto gave him the rundown of everything he'd been keeping an eye on. 'No, I mean how are you doing?' Jack clarified. 'We haven't really talked since…'

No, they hadn't. This virus had taken its toll on them at a very personal level. First they know you, then you love, you kill and you die. That was what had happened to Jack. He'd confessed to Ianto that he was the person Jack loved most in the world, and because of it, he was the person Jack wanted to kill. He'd very nearly succeed, and then right before the end he'd died. It must have been such a relief.

Ianto had been infected with the same virus as Jack, but his experience was different. He'd felt that same pull of the virus, warping his thoughts so that he could barely think straight. He loved Jack with every fibre of his being and the virus coursing through his veins was driving him to want to kill Jack just as much as Jack wanted to kill him. But he couldn't. He didn't want to kill Jack. He loved Jack. Killing him was wrong even if it felt so right. Even knowing Jack would come back to life didn't change things. He could kill Jack again and again and he'd keep coming back. Not like Ianto. If Jack killed him that was the end of the road. There was no coming back from death and Ianto. He couldn't let that happen. Jack wasn't in his right mind. Killing Ianto would kill him.

Ianto had fought those primitive urges to kill. He wouldn't do it. He'd rather die than let this virus take him over.

But for some reason it hadn't. He'd fought like hell and maybe because he had, he hadn't entered phase four. If you didn't kill, maybe you couldn't progress, the virus couldn't take you over completely. That had to be it. He wasn't cured, not until he'd been given the real vaccine, and even now he couldn't be sure. He just knew that he wouldn't ever hurt Jack, virus or not. That was cure enough for him.

Now that things were over, he was waiting for that moment when they'd finally talk about it. Jack had apologised and Ianto had brushed it off. He knew Jack loved him and would never truly want to kill him, but why then had Ianto been able to fight off those urges but not Jack? Wasn't he loved enough? Wouldn't Jack just come out and say it now? Jack had never said it before but now it was all out in the open, wasn't it? He just wanted to hear Jack say it, now that he wasn't infected and hell bent on murdering Ianto where he stood.

‘You're amazing,’ Jack said, reveling in Ianto's admission that he'd been infected but fought it off. ‘My hero.’

‘A very quiet hero.’

‘There are many kinds of heroism, and… Ianto Jones? I like yours.’ He brushed a hand across Ianto's cheek. Ianto lifted his eyes to meet Jack's. Was now the moment? Would Jack finally say it and really mean it? If not now, then when? It wasn't as if he hadn't already demonstrated the fact that there was no one above Ianto on the list of people Jack loved. It shouldn't be awkward to admit anymore. The cat was already out of the bag, so to speak.

Jack kissed him and Ianto kissed back. It was as loving and all encompassing as any kiss. It was the kind of kiss Jack gave when he had more on his mind than just the convenience of Ianto being right there in front of him.

‘You should go home and get some rest. Gwen tells me you haven't slept since the night before that Keranian turned up.’ Jack smirked. ‘I heard you were a little jealous.’

‘Who me? It's just a giant alien octopus. What would I have to be jealous about?’

Jack grinned at him, hand still resting on his cheek. ‘What indeed? Go home. Rest. I'll see you back here tomorrow.’

And just like that he was gone, wandering back to his office like they'd just discussed the weather. There was no grand declaration of love today. Not even for heroes. He supposed he'd just have to keep on waiting for it.