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m_findlowTitle: Moving forwards
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG.
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 85 - Head in the clouds at![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomweekly
Summary: Ianto has more on his mind than he realised.
‘I think it's ready,’ a female voice said, breaking through Ianto's consciousness.
He blinked once, coming back to himself and turned around. ‘Hmm?’
A young brunette in palazzo pants and a deep blue boat neck pointed past him. ‘The urn. It's boiled three times since you've been standing there staring at it, past it, through it… not really sure exactly. Oh, and, not because I'm like a stalker or anything but you're always here making a cuppa round about the same time of day as me and I know you've never used more than half a teaspoon of sugar. Pretty sure you haven't converted to three heaped teaspoons overnight.’
Ianto glanced down into the depths of his dark blue mug and lo and behold, there was a mountain of white sitting over the top of the coffee granules. He knew he'd been on autopilot as he'd gone to fetch himself a brew, but he hadn't been so far gone as to have just stood there and gone through the motions several times over, had he?
‘Well spotted,’ he said, trying to smooth over his embarrassment.
She smiled and leaned against the doorway. ‘All part of the service. Got a bit on your mind?’
That was the understatement of the century. After months of living alone in London, working for UNIT, Jack had turned up at his door last night looking to patch things up. And Ianto, against his better judgement, had slept with him, before leaving Jack holed up in his apartment. He wanted to tell someone - anyone - absolutely everything, but he knew he couldn't.
His sister would have gone into interrogation mode, wanting to know what had been said, why had he slept with Jack, and what was he going to do now? He didn't know. Gwen wouldn't have been any better. She'd have been down here in a heartbeat reading Jack the riot act and wanting to knock their heads together, not a care in the world what it might do for her blood pressure with the baby due any day now.
God but it was killing him trying to bottle up all his thoughts and feelings, pretending he needed to be at work, which was no more than an excuse to buy himself some time to figure out what he was supposed to do next, assuming Jack was still at the apartment when he got back there this evening. His attempts to make coffee only proved that he was kidding himself to think that work would help calm his mind into being able to think about the whole thing logically. It was nonsense. There was nothing logical about love.
He studied the young woman. Her face was vaguely familiar but he hadn't made any friends here since joining UNIT. He couldn't have been more alone, in fact. ‘Have you ever had one of those moments where you think you've finally gotten over something only to have it creep back up on you when you least expect it?’
She chuckled. ‘Sounds like my ex-boyfriend. I thought I was so over him but it's kind of hard when you run into him at the local supermarket every few weeks. He did something totally unforgivable, mind, but it's hard just seeing him and trying to remember that.’
Ianto nodded. ‘Yeah.’ Jack had done something pretty unforgivable too. Ianto still couldn't wrap his head around how anyone could willingly sacrifice the life of a child, let alone your own grandson. Millions more would have suffered had he not, but it was the kind of heartbreaking decision Ianto didn't think he'd ever be able to reconcile. In Jack's shoes he didn't know what he'd have done, even after thinking about nothing else for months. ‘You know, I think you're the first person who's actually spoken to me.’
She looked surprised. ‘Really?’
‘People don't seem to like that I used to be Torchwood.’ Or that his new job was to root out the people who'd been complicit in covering up the actions decided by COBRA when they'd agreed to parlay with the greatest alien threat the planet had ever seen. It wasn't just them however. It was looking for the bad eggs - the people passing notes and hidden agendas within UNIT's ranks that were a risk. It wasn't quite the job he'd come here thinking he'd do, but it was an important first step to righting decades of wrong. ‘They think I'm the enemy.’
‘My brother's an auditor so he says he feels like that everytime he walks through the door. His mantra is that if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.’
‘Wise words,’ Ianto agreed.
She shrugged. ‘Yeah, but he also says whoever smelt it dealt it, so I don't know that I'd take his advice all the time.’
Ianto managed a smile. ‘We all have our moments. I'm not usually so…’
‘Head in the clouds?’
He conceded the point. ‘Yeah.’
‘You drive to work?’
He shook his head. ‘Walked.’
‘Good.’
‘Best I not operate heavy machinery?’ he surmised.
‘Probably just wouldn't go persecuting anyone today if you're not on your A game. Might point the finger at the wrong person.’
‘Damn, and I was going to bring down the entire organisation just as soon as I finished my three lump cup of coffee.’
‘I don't think you'd do that. You seem the okay sort. Whoever it is that's stumbled back into your life would be lucky to have you around I should think. Perhaps don't forget that before you make any decision to turn them away.’
He was about to throw the contents of his mug down the sink and start over when he realised that thinking you could just start over from scratch was the easy way out. Better to persevere with what you had, hard as that might be. Instead he dropped three more spoonfuls of coffee in with his sugar. It might end in disaster, but if you didn't try, then you'd never know.
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG.
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 85 - Head in the clouds at
fandomweekly Summary: Ianto has more on his mind than he realised.
‘I think it's ready,’ a female voice said, breaking through Ianto's consciousness.
He blinked once, coming back to himself and turned around. ‘Hmm?’
A young brunette in palazzo pants and a deep blue boat neck pointed past him. ‘The urn. It's boiled three times since you've been standing there staring at it, past it, through it… not really sure exactly. Oh, and, not because I'm like a stalker or anything but you're always here making a cuppa round about the same time of day as me and I know you've never used more than half a teaspoon of sugar. Pretty sure you haven't converted to three heaped teaspoons overnight.’
Ianto glanced down into the depths of his dark blue mug and lo and behold, there was a mountain of white sitting over the top of the coffee granules. He knew he'd been on autopilot as he'd gone to fetch himself a brew, but he hadn't been so far gone as to have just stood there and gone through the motions several times over, had he?
‘Well spotted,’ he said, trying to smooth over his embarrassment.
She smiled and leaned against the doorway. ‘All part of the service. Got a bit on your mind?’
That was the understatement of the century. After months of living alone in London, working for UNIT, Jack had turned up at his door last night looking to patch things up. And Ianto, against his better judgement, had slept with him, before leaving Jack holed up in his apartment. He wanted to tell someone - anyone - absolutely everything, but he knew he couldn't.
His sister would have gone into interrogation mode, wanting to know what had been said, why had he slept with Jack, and what was he going to do now? He didn't know. Gwen wouldn't have been any better. She'd have been down here in a heartbeat reading Jack the riot act and wanting to knock their heads together, not a care in the world what it might do for her blood pressure with the baby due any day now.
God but it was killing him trying to bottle up all his thoughts and feelings, pretending he needed to be at work, which was no more than an excuse to buy himself some time to figure out what he was supposed to do next, assuming Jack was still at the apartment when he got back there this evening. His attempts to make coffee only proved that he was kidding himself to think that work would help calm his mind into being able to think about the whole thing logically. It was nonsense. There was nothing logical about love.
He studied the young woman. Her face was vaguely familiar but he hadn't made any friends here since joining UNIT. He couldn't have been more alone, in fact. ‘Have you ever had one of those moments where you think you've finally gotten over something only to have it creep back up on you when you least expect it?’
She chuckled. ‘Sounds like my ex-boyfriend. I thought I was so over him but it's kind of hard when you run into him at the local supermarket every few weeks. He did something totally unforgivable, mind, but it's hard just seeing him and trying to remember that.’
Ianto nodded. ‘Yeah.’ Jack had done something pretty unforgivable too. Ianto still couldn't wrap his head around how anyone could willingly sacrifice the life of a child, let alone your own grandson. Millions more would have suffered had he not, but it was the kind of heartbreaking decision Ianto didn't think he'd ever be able to reconcile. In Jack's shoes he didn't know what he'd have done, even after thinking about nothing else for months. ‘You know, I think you're the first person who's actually spoken to me.’
She looked surprised. ‘Really?’
‘People don't seem to like that I used to be Torchwood.’ Or that his new job was to root out the people who'd been complicit in covering up the actions decided by COBRA when they'd agreed to parlay with the greatest alien threat the planet had ever seen. It wasn't just them however. It was looking for the bad eggs - the people passing notes and hidden agendas within UNIT's ranks that were a risk. It wasn't quite the job he'd come here thinking he'd do, but it was an important first step to righting decades of wrong. ‘They think I'm the enemy.’
‘My brother's an auditor so he says he feels like that everytime he walks through the door. His mantra is that if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.’
‘Wise words,’ Ianto agreed.
She shrugged. ‘Yeah, but he also says whoever smelt it dealt it, so I don't know that I'd take his advice all the time.’
Ianto managed a smile. ‘We all have our moments. I'm not usually so…’
‘Head in the clouds?’
He conceded the point. ‘Yeah.’
‘You drive to work?’
He shook his head. ‘Walked.’
‘Good.’
‘Best I not operate heavy machinery?’ he surmised.
‘Probably just wouldn't go persecuting anyone today if you're not on your A game. Might point the finger at the wrong person.’
‘Damn, and I was going to bring down the entire organisation just as soon as I finished my three lump cup of coffee.’
‘I don't think you'd do that. You seem the okay sort. Whoever it is that's stumbled back into your life would be lucky to have you around I should think. Perhaps don't forget that before you make any decision to turn them away.’
He was about to throw the contents of his mug down the sink and start over when he realised that thinking you could just start over from scratch was the easy way out. Better to persevere with what you had, hard as that might be. Instead he dropped three more spoonfuls of coffee in with his sugar. It might end in disaster, but if you didn't try, then you'd never know.
