Gilmore Girls: Fanfic: Beaver bait

[m_findlow]

Title: Beaver bait
Fandom: Gilmore Girls
Characters: Lorelai, Rory, Luke, Kirk
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 560 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, choosing the right bait" at fic_promptly
Summary: There's more than one way to catch a beaver

Luke braced for impact as Lorelai flew into the diner. He already had the cup half poured by the time she'd reached the counter.

'I need to know how to get rid of beavers.'

Luke tried not the raise an eyebrow. Even for Lorelai Gilmore, that was an odd request.

'Why do you need to know how to get rid of beavers?'

'Because, there's a beaver in my back pond.'

He forced himself not to sigh loudly.

'Is this one of those euphemisms you're so fond of, or are we actually talking about beavers?'

'Concentrate, Luke! Beavers. How do I get rid of them?'

He put down the jug of coffee and leaned over the counter at her.

'There are no beavers in this state.'

'No, but there's one in my pond. Pancakes please,' she added, deftly turning the conversation immediately to her breakfast order. Luke wasn't so easily distracted.

'How do you know it's a beaver? Have you actually seen it?'

'Before Lorelai could answer, Rory swung through the door, bouncing her way up to the counter.

'Hi Luke. Pancakes please.'

'You're not your mother's daughter,' Luke replied deadpan.

Lorelai slapped the counter with her hand. 'Beavers!'

'Beavers?' asked Rory.

'Yes, we have a beaver in our back pond, and Luke is going to tell us how to get rid of it.'

Luke is not going to tell you how to get rid of it,' he responded. Talking in the third person was always more effective when dealing with Gilmores.

'How do you know we have a beaver?'

'Because,' and she paused for dramatic effect, 'yesterday there were four twigs bunched up on one side of the pond, and today there's seven. Clear evidence of a beaver building his nest. In our pond.'

'Cool.'

'That is not evidence of a beaver,' Luke continued. 'Beavers build dams in rivers. In Canada.'

'Well, maybe his satnav is broken and he couldn't find a river in our backyard, so he made do.'

'It's probably just the wind.'

'Luke has a point, Mom.'

'Wait, you think the wind is building a nest on our pond?' Lorelai asked, sounding shocked.

'Well it's not a beaver,' Luke persevered.

'You should be careful of beavers,' piped up Kirk, who was on the barstool beside her. 'They've been known to rip faces off people, or is that badgers? I once had a pet gerbil that fell asleep on my face when I was eight. All I'm saying is, you should make sure your doors and windows are locked at night.'

'Good advice,' nodded Lorelai.

'Thank you, Kirk!' Luke added, but with less enthusiasm.

'Right, well tonight I'm going to prove it. I'm going to set a trap. Luke, what have you got I can use as bait?'

'Kirk?' he offered.

'Looks like he's got two danishes, a muffin, and a piece of treacle tart,' Rory said, examining the cakes under glass.

'So many choices!'

'Okay, Mom, I gotta get to school, I'll see you later. Keep me posted on the latest beaver developments.'

'Bye Rory!'

Just before she sped out the door she turned around.

'Treacle tart. If it's from Canada, that's probably the closest to maple syrup.'

'Good thinking! Luke, treacle tart, please. Make it to go.'

'This is insane,' he muttered.

'Yes, but tomorrow I'll have the beaver to prove it to you,' she smiled.