Fandomweekly Challenge 141 - Incubating

[m_findlow]

Title: Incubating
Fandom: Torchwood

Characters: Ianto, Jack

Author: m_findlow

Rating: PG

Length: 1,000 words

Content notes: none

Author notes: Written for Challenge 141 - Inspiration at fandomweekly

Summary: Jack has come up with a brilliant idea for moving negotiations forward.

Ianto tossed in bed, unable to sleep. Not that he could describe it as a bed. It was more like a pod, with a hard foam inlay angled forty-five degrees to the floor. For someone accustomed to sleeping parallel to the floor on a springy mattress, this was not going in his top ten list of favourite sleeping facilities.

'This is the price you pay for diplomacy, 'he mumbled to himself as he rolled onto his other side, trying to figure out if that was any better. It turned out it wasn't. His hosts had ensured equality in all things, including his discomfort.

He cast an eye across the small room, seeing an empty pod where Jack was meant to also be attempting sleep. He was having an easier time of it than Ianto, more accustomed to bedding of all kinds, but even he'd given up sleep as a bad joke it seemed.

It was hardly surprising. If it had been the most luxurious bed in the universe, Ianto still doubted he'd be able to sleep. He had too much on his mind. This ambassadorial engagement wasn't going well. It wasn't going badly either, but they'd yet to make any progress in finding common ground between Earth's people and those of the Vriy'anneey, and what an alliance between their two planets would look like.

Earth couldn't offer them much, judging by the discussions that had taken place so far. The Vriy'anneey were technologically much further advanced than humans, and a defensive alliance pact seemed pointless. Earth had little to offer them militarily in the event of invasion, and the distance between their two worlds was so vast that even if they agreed to support Earth in the face of its own alien threats, they could never reach Earth in time to afford them much protection. Earth could offer rare base minerals and gases, but the kinds of quantities that the Vriy'anneey were interested in were far more than Earth could supply without breaking contractual arrangements with other planets already in place.

Perhaps that was the problem, Ianto thought, trying to bunch up the blanket under his head into a makeshift pillow. They were just so far apart in terms of geographical location and cultural differences. They wouldn't have even known the Vriy'anneey existed had it not been for the two that got caught up in Earth's rift, who were safely returned to their home world after many months of trying to figure out exactly which sector of space they came from. No one, not even Jack, had ever travelled that far, or had any of it mapped into known star charts.

Try as he might, turning the problem over in his head, he couldn't think of any way to move their negotiations forward.

There was a retching sound coming from nearby. Ianto's ears pricked up at the sound, immediately recognising it as Jack making the noise. He picked himself out of the pod and padded toward the bathroom door, leaning against it and letting himself in. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing. Just a bit of nausea. Boy, that came on fast.'

'You look awful.'

Jack waved him away. 'No, it's fine. I'll be fine.'

'Was it something you ate?'

'Not exactly. I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk. Kept trying to think of ways we could build up a rapport with these guys. Ran into that guy Ganeesh… Gunoosh…'

'Ganatooram,' Ianto corrected him, referring to their translator.

'Yeah, him. Anyway, we got talking about their shrinking population and then it hit me. What they really need is fresh genetics to help with their gestational problems.'

Ianto paused and let Jack's words sink in. 'Oh, no. Tell me you didn't. Jesus, you went and got yourself pregnant, didn't you?'

Jack flinched at Ianto's harsh accusation. 'We didn't, you know… do it. It doesn't work like that.'

'Oh, well that makes all the difference then!' Ianto quipped. 'So long as you didn't have actual sex then it's perfectly fine.'

Jack clenched his jaw in defiance. 'They're suffering a major fertility crisis. Human anatomy just happens to be reasonably compatible. Male anatomy particularly. Something to do with testosterone levels. To be honest, it's more Owen's field of expertise than mine.'

'But you figured why worry about the science? Let's just see if it works. That's a terrible plan, and when it comes to you, that's really saying something.'

'Wouldn't be the first time I've gotten knocked up to save a royal bloodline,' Jack replied.

Ianto's eyes narrowed at him. 'But it may very well be your last,' he warned. 'So what now? You just take the next nine months off work?'

'Don't be silly. It's only a two week gestational period. Why d'you think I've got the queasy stomach already?'

Ianto pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering how it was they always ended up in these messes.

'You know,' Jack said, 'it wouldn't hurt you offering to do it as well. You should have seen how eager they were to negotiate all of a sudden.'

Ianto snorted. 'You must be joking.' He'd do a lot for diplomacy but there was a line he didn't cross. 'And we're not shipping out a whole lot of men to become handmaids for these aliens, either.'

'I never said that. Don't you see? It's not about us getting pregnant. It's about what makes us more fertile, medically speaking. That's what we can offer them. Medical research. Pharmaceutical solutions.'

'And you had to get pregnant for that?'

Jack shrugged. 'It's an olive branch. Prove it works. Figure out exactly why. Synthesise a cure. C'mon. It's just two weeks. It'll go a long way towards building bridges with these guys. Isn't that what we came here to do?'

Ianto heaved a sigh. 'You really need to start running these brilliant ideas past me first.'

Jack arched an eyebrow at him. 'Is that a yes?'

'You pop first, prove it doesn't kill you and then I'll think about it.'