m_findlow

Title: Eating out of your lap
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Word Count: 600 words
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Ianto
Author notes: Written for Challenge #011 - Emulate
Summary: Jack is confused by Hywel’s strange new obsession.

'Ianto! I’ve got a pterodactyl in my lap trying to do something that is seriously X-rated!' Jack yelled.

'Please don't tell me your fifty-first century pheromones also work on dinosaurs,' Ianto teased as he came to see what all the fuss was about. 'Oh, that is a bit naughty,' he replied, spotting Hywel in Jack’s lap, bending down somewhere a juvenile dinosaur’s beak should never go. He quickly crossed the office and bundled him up from Jack’s lap before he could do any damage, or worse, Jack started enjoying it.

Hywel struggled slightly in Ianto’s arms, straining to reach back towards Jack, though Ianto kept a firm but gentle grip on him, so all he could do was flap ineffectually and squawk in his tiny little way. He hadn’t yet learned to fly, which was a godsend. Ianto wasn’t sure his heart could cope with that when the time came to test it out. 'Hey, little man,' he said, stroking his head and trying to calm him down. 'What’s up with you?'

'More to the point,' Jack said, wishing Ianto didn’t dote on the small creature so much, denying him the same. 'Why is he poking around my crotch? I thought he just wanted company.'

Ianto smirked. 'So many things I could say.'

Jack scowled at him, not seeing the funny side. 'Seriously, though.' Ianto stepped closer, holding Hywel out to see if he’d do it again. 'Hey, keep that beak away from my crown jewels,' Jack complained, adding a protective hand over them.

'Lovely as they are,' Ianto said, 'I don’t think that’s what he’s after. Look,' he said, trying to get Jack to focus on the fact that Hywel was straining towards his pocket. 'What’s in your pocket?'

'Nothing,' Jack replied, reaching towards it. 'I… oh.' His face scrunched up as his fingers dipped inside it, extracting the melty remnants of a chocolate bar. 'Oops. Forgot that was in there.' He licked the stickiness from his fingers. 'Mmm, still tastes good, though.' Hywel squawked with indignation as Jack savoured what was on his fingers.

'Well, I think that answers the question. He was after your chocolate.'

'Seriously? Since when are prehistoric creatures innately drawn to something that didn't exist for another sixty million years?'

Ianto stroked Hwyel's head, trying to placate him as he watched the remaining chocolate bar get dumped in Jack's waste paper basket, no doubt planning on returning later to claim it back. 'I daresay it's learned behaviour.'

'Learned?' Jack said, sounding sceptical.

'He’s only exhibiting the same behaviours he’s picked up from his mother.' How many times had Ianto visited Myfanwy, bringing her a little something extra in the form of a bar of dark chocolate. She always knew if he was holding out on her, or simply trying to do everything else first before rewarding her with her gift. She would nuzzle at his pocket, like she could smell it in there. He could never hide it from her, that was for sure. She was a bloodhound more than a dinosaur.

'Monkey see, monkey do?'

'Something like that. Just think, Jack. Not only have we proved that pteranodons have maternal instincts, but that they are also capable of adopting a chick that isn't theirs, and teaching it valuable survival skills. We've typically only ever associated that kind of behaviour with mammals.'

'Not really exciting me when I've got sharp tiny beaks trying to nibble me places they shouldn't,' Jack replied.

'Well, maybe next time you'll learn to eat the chocolate you steal from my drawer straight away instead of hiding it for later.'