Torchwood: Fanfic: Priced out of the market

[m_findlow]

Title: Priced out of the market
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 570 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, haggling with the shopkeeper for a critical item" at fic_promptly
Summary: The locals can spot a foreigner coming from a million miles away

Ianto looked incredulously at Jack, and then back at the shopkeeper. How much? Surely he must had previously misheard the first time.

'Five hundred dalvas? You can't be serious!'

'Five hundred dalvas,' the shopkeeper confirmed.

He looked back at Jack again. His face was not one of outrageous shock as he'd expected. Perhaps he'd gotten the conversion wrong. Jack raised an eyebrow at him, as if to say, are we getting it or not?

'He's asking three hundred pounds for a thirty five ounce bag of coffee!'

'I heard the first three times,' Jack replied, shoving his hands in his pockets.

'But that's insane!'

'He'd trading in rare commodities. That's the price.'

'It's coffee. Not caviar.'

'Around here it might as well be.'

'We're not made of money, Jack.'

'We've got enough. And it's for essentials.'

'Essentially being swindled, more like. Well, we'll just find another vendor then,' he offered.

'You won't find one,' Jack confirmed.

'Then we'll try another market!'

'We're three hundred light years from the next closest trading outpost. You really want to go another two weeks without coffee?'

Ianto huffed and folded his arms. 'This wouldn't be happening if we'd bought the ship with the inbuilt fabricator.'

Now it was Jack who folded his arms.

'If I recall correctly, you were the one who complained that the fabricator coffee wasn't up to standard.'

'Which I would have put up with on occasion if I'd known that we'd be a zillion years from Earth and anywhere else that grew coffee beans!'

'And which I would have insisted on if I'd known you'd be this testy without coffee!'

'I'm not testy!' Ianto yelled back, not noticing the crowd that had milled about them, watching their row play out like a pair of street entertainers. A few passers by even tossed a coin or two at their feet.

'We're making a scene,' Jack said through gritted teeth, 'and not the kind I'd prefer.'

Ianto huffed again and eyed the bag suspiciously. It was cheap burlap, and the printing on the outside wasn't in English, so it wasn't from Earth. There was no telling where it was from, or even if it had started off in that bag, or had simply been poured in later. He had no idea if the shopkeeper had told him a fiction, and he wasn't about to open the bag and let him have a closer inspection of the beans. Even then, he wasn't sure if he would be able to tell.

He gave Jack a final look and then turned back to the shopkeeper, trying to salvage what little dignity was left.

'Four hundred dalvas.'

'Six hundred dalvas,' the shopkeeper countered.

'Six hundred!' Jack had never heard Ianto's voice go that high. It was quite funny.

'Four hundred and twenty.'

'Six hundred.'

'Four fifty.'

'Six hundred.'

Ianto was starting to lose his cool.

'Five hundred,' Jack offered. Ianto looked at him stunned.

'Deal,' grinned the shopkeeper.

Ianto begrudgingly parted with the money and took custody of the bag of beans.

'If this is some cheap robusta blend, I won't be happy,' he half said to the shopkeeper, and half addressed to the bag now in his arms.

'Well, I think we've learned an important lesson today,' Jack observed,

'Always make sure you're within two days distance of Earth, or else stock up when you're in town?' Ianto replied.

'No, that you're rubbish at haggling.'

Comments

[bk_forever]

Oh dear, Ianto, what you have to go through to ensure youj have coffee! I hope that bag of beans is good quality! It certainly cost enough.

[m-findlow.livejournal.com]

Together they're learning that there's more to travelling through time and space than they first thought. Who knew that the creature comforts would be so problematic? :)

[jo02]

Hahaha - I love how Ianto completely fails at haggling - this reminds me of the haggling scene in "Life of Brian" :)

[m-findlow.livejournal.com]

He he. I can't remember that bit exactly but I'm going to go and you tube it right now. I need a good laugh after spending my whole day resubmitting my assignment because the people who are marking them are a-holes. :(

Feels like I haven't heard from you in ages (says she who has barely written anything in the past month). Real life getting in the way? Hope you've been well! :)