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m_findlowTitle: The cost of lies
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
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Summary: The weight of Ianto's burden is almost more than he can bear. A quintuple drabble.
Jack's footsteps clunked past the storage cupboard and Ianto was about to breathe a sigh of relief, but they returned, stopped, and then the door opened.
‘I like your work ethic, but is there a reason you’re in a storage closet this close to midnight?’ Jack asked. ‘You’re not some secret vampire, are you? Had to deal with three of them back in the seventies and they really didn’t take my offer for sucking the way I'd hoped.’
Ianto swallowed, nervous as being caught. How the hell had Jack even known he was in here? ‘Just doing an inventory,’ he replied. ‘None of the rooms down here have been properly reviewed in ages.’ It felt like a terrible lie. He’d only ducked in here to avoid being discovered by Jack on his way down to check on Lisa.
‘You couldn't maybe, I don't know, do it tomorrow?’
‘Inventory waits for no man. Unless of course you came down here to see to it?’
Jack laughed. ‘No chance. Go home. I’ll see you in the morning and you can inventory to your heart’s content.’
Ianto took the instruction as order and made a hasty retreat, albeit in totally the wrong direction. Lisa was the other way and there was no lie going to get him around being able to go in that direction. He was glad Jack couldn't see his distraught face as he strode back towards the main hub. Lisa was probably down there in agony and here he was, forced to abandon her just to keep up the lie with his boss.
Ianto wanted to tell it all so badly. It was getting too much to deal with. It didn’t matter that he knew Doctor Tanazaki had finally responded to his many emails and was considering coming to Cardiff to see Lisa in person. It didn’t matter that there was every chance he could fix her and make her whole again.
Right now, seeing her in the amount of pain she was in, and how little he could do to ease her suffering, it was all he could do not to cry in despair. He was exhausted from work, from looking after her, and from keeping up the string of lies and masks just so that Jack wouldn’t discover them. He could blurt it all out in a heartbeat and Jack would turn his head and hear it all. Then it would be Jack’s problem and not his. Jack would bear the burden of fixing everything, and Ianto might finally be able to rest.
Except that he knew Jack wouldn’t do that. Jack would assess the threat level and deal with it accordingly. Ianto hadn’t earned enough of his esteem to do anything different; to look past the monster and see the victim in need of help. Telling Jack was not simply a calculated risk, but rather a condemnation. God, but he still wanted to, if only so he didn’t have to carry the truth all on his own.
Jack's footsteps clunked past the storage cupboard and Ianto was about to breathe a sigh of relief, but they returned, stopped, and then the door opened.
‘I like your work ethic, but is there a reason you’re in a storage closet this close to midnight?’ Jack asked. ‘You’re not some secret vampire, are you? Had to deal with three of them back in the seventies and they really didn’t take my offer for sucking the way I'd hoped.’
Ianto swallowed, nervous as being caught. How the hell had Jack even known he was in here? ‘Just doing an inventory,’ he replied. ‘None of the rooms down here have been properly reviewed in ages.’ It felt like a terrible lie. He’d only ducked in here to avoid being discovered by Jack on his way down to check on Lisa.
‘You couldn't maybe, I don't know, do it tomorrow?’
‘Inventory waits for no man. Unless of course you came down here to see to it?’
Jack laughed. ‘No chance. Go home. I’ll see you in the morning and you can inventory to your heart’s content.’
Ianto took the instruction as order and made a hasty retreat, albeit in totally the wrong direction. Lisa was the other way and there was no lie going to get him around being able to go in that direction. He was glad Jack couldn't see his distraught face as he strode back towards the main hub. Lisa was probably down there in agony and here he was, forced to abandon her just to keep up the lie with his boss.
Ianto wanted to tell it all so badly. It was getting too much to deal with. It didn’t matter that he knew Doctor Tanazaki had finally responded to his many emails and was considering coming to Cardiff to see Lisa in person. It didn’t matter that there was every chance he could fix her and make her whole again.
Right now, seeing her in the amount of pain she was in, and how little he could do to ease her suffering, it was all he could do not to cry in despair. He was exhausted from work, from looking after her, and from keeping up the string of lies and masks just so that Jack wouldn’t discover them. He could blurt it all out in a heartbeat and Jack would turn his head and hear it all. Then it would be Jack’s problem and not his. Jack would bear the burden of fixing everything, and Ianto might finally be able to rest.
Except that he knew Jack wouldn’t do that. Jack would assess the threat level and deal with it accordingly. Ianto hadn’t earned enough of his esteem to do anything different; to look past the monster and see the victim in need of help. Telling Jack was not simply a calculated risk, but rather a condemnation. God, but he still wanted to, if only so he didn’t have to carry the truth all on his own.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-11 10:58 am (UTC)But it's all going to fall down around him soon anyway.