JMDC #218 - The things we do for love

[m_findlow]

Title: The things we do for love

Fandom: Torchwood

Characters: Jack, Ianto

Author: m_findlow

Rating: PG

Length: 700 words

Content notes: none

Author notes: Written for enchanted_jae ’s JMDC prompt #218 - Hard truths

Summary: Ianto knows what lies in store, also knowing there’s nothing more he can do.

 

‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Trust me,’ Jack says, leaning forward to peck Ianto on the cheek as soon as the words have left his month, then dashing off into the fray, gun clenched tightly and the tails of his greatcoat flapping behind him as he runs. In slow motion, Ianto expects the strains of Chariots of Fire could be heard playing in the background.

It’s a deadly combination: that kiss and the words “I’ll be fine”. The trust part Ianto has no issue with. He’d trust Jack enough to follow him to the ends of the earth, and mostly likely, all the way over the edge of the earth as well. He’d do anything for Jack because he loves him, probably more than Jack will ever be capable of loving him back. That’s just how it’s always been. Ianto knew that the moment he first kissed Jack. Jack has had strings of lovers, even before Ianto knew the whole truth of his immortality, so he doesn’t expect to be the last, or even the best. If Jack remembers him at all, he would count himself lucky.

Still, it’s not about what happens some time off in the future, after Ianto is dead and gone. What will he have to worry about when he’s dead? Simply the knowledge that Jack will hurt for a long time before love finds him again. That’s what Ianto dreads; the heartache that his death will eventually cause.

For now, the important thing is to live, and love, in the moment, because that’s all they have. The struggle for Ianto is having to watch Jack live a life that is equal parts death. Dying doesn’t mean the same thing to Jack as everybody else. It’s a minor inconvenience, a bump in the road, a fly in the ointment. No matter how many times it happens, Ianto can’t simply brush it off as a brief and tedious delay to resuming normal programming. He also knows that Jack will put himself in even more danger when there’s a risk of that danger translating to someone he cares about. It’s not good enough that Ianto chooses this line of work, in the full knowledge of the threat it poses to his own mortality. Jack isn’t going to let someone else take the fall if he can do it for them.

The more Jack insists he’ll be fine, the more likely it is that Ianto knows he isn’t going to survive. It will be awful, painful, horrific, and worst of all, slow. Jack is running into the fray knowing he’s going to die. They both know it, even if Jack tries to convince himself that Ianto is too stupid to see it. Oops, I didn't know that alien was going to cut me to ribbons with its laser weapon, or, there was no way of knowing that it had teeth that sharp; I thought I'd just get slobbered all over, not decapitated. Jack never goes down easy; it’s always dramatic, adding to a long list of bizarre ways to die. Ianto has seen so many that almost nothing surprises him anymore. It doesn’t mean he’s any less heartbroken and horrified, kneeling there by his side, either watching him in pain slowly fading to black, or clutching his broken body close to his own, temporarily alone in the world, waiting and praying desperately for his lover to come back to him, happy and whole.

Ianto feels nervous, standing on the sidelines, knowing that he could chase after Jack, giving him backup, a decoy, covering fire – what he needs – and worry about the bollocking he’ll get from Jack afterwards. Today though, Jack’s kiss tells him all he needs to know. I need you safe. This thing is already way out of control.

He wants to have as much time with Jack as he possibly can because Jack makes him happier than he’s ever felt before. That means staying alive. It also means letting Jack die yet another terrible death. That’s become the cost of loving a man who can’t die forever. Jack has chosen for both of them to trade his life for that of the man he loves.


 

Comments

[enchanted_jae]

Yikes, how horrid to have to go through that.

Thanks for the entry!

[badly_knitted]

*hugs Ianto* Jack WILL be fine, once he comes back from dying, just as long as he knows Ianto is safe. His own deaths hurt, but he can handle that. Ianto's death would destroy Jack.