BTBD Challenge 12 - Moebius

[m_findlow]

Title: Moebius
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,318 words
Content notes: Written for Challenge 12 - Ending at beattheblackdog
Summary: In an infinite universe, there are no real endings

He hadn't thought anything of it as he climbed into the drivers seat of the SUV, Jack relegated to the passenger's side. It was just what they'd been doing all night long.

All of the guests from Gwen's wedding had to be dealt with as they snoozed and slumbered on tables and in chairs in the reception hall. A number of them were already booked into hotel rooms at the large manor, so were easily moved to their rooms. Another handful were booked into the remaining empty rooms, and a card left on their side table stating "with compliments of the bride and groom" as explanation for the reason that they were tucked up in a room they hadn't paid for.

Those who were left faced a long journey home. Their pockets and purses were rifled for keys and wallets, identifying who belonged to which car. Their passengers were loaded into the back, whilst the team dropped them home to their respective addresses, Tosh and Owen in one car, Jack and Ianto in another. It just made sense to let Ianto drive. Jack read out the address on the drivers license and he navigated them there, his local knowledge putting any satnav to shame.

When finally the last guest was tucked away in the comfort of their own bed, and they returned to pick up the SUV, it was just habit that made him crawl behind the wheel despite being exhausted. Jack, of course, looked like he'd just had twelve hours sleep, just like he always did. Yet despite his rested exterior, there was more going on underneath the hood.

It wasn't quite dawn yet, still too dark to make out the features on the road, and forcing his tired brain to concentrate hard, but he saw the expression etched on Jack's face. It was the same expression he'd had when he'd been dancing with Gwen all those hours ago, and the one that had again crossed his face as he'd watched the pair of them walk hand in hand out of the reception hall and off to their room, honeymoon ahead of them.

He knew Jack had always fancied Gwen from a distance. Wasn't that why he'd cut in on their dance? Just a little bit of jealousy on his part because he couldn't reconcile how he was supposed to compete with Gwen.

Did they really have to do this now? he thought. He didn't have the energy for a fight with Jack. Couldn't he just let her go?

'Penny for your thoughts?' he asked, not taking his eyes off the road. He didn't expect Jack to answer. He knew damn well what he was thinking about, which is why he was surprised when Jack spoke.

'Just glad today is over,' he replied glumly.

'I thought you liked weddings?'

'I do. It's just, now that Gwen's married, all her priorities have changed.'

Meaning you're not her humber one priority anymore? Ianto thought. 'She's lucky to have found someone to share her life with,' he responded instead, the comment tinged more with regret than spite.

'Exactly,' Jack agreed. 'How long until she decides that they want to have kids, build a family? Torchwood can't offer her that.'

'Our creche facilities are somewhat lacking,' Ianto joked, trying to ease the tension that was building. He really didn't want to listen to Jack's despondent mutterings about Gwen leaving Torchwood.

Jack was silent for a minute. 'It all feels like it's falling apart. Gwen's taken the first steps towards a new life. Owen is dead, but not dead, and won't ever be able to lead a normal life ever again. Tosh is just brilliant, but she works too hard. She deserves more than I can offer her.'

Ianto was surprised. Jack's mood had little to do with his feelings about Gwen. It was totally unexpected.

'Doesn't it seem like everything is ending?' Jack asked him.

Ianto didn't know what to say. He'd been expecting a row over Jack's misplaced feelings about Gwen. Instead he was bearing witness to a man who though his team were abandoning him or losing themselves because of him.

'What about us?' Right now he didn't care much for Gwen, or Owen, or even Tosh. If Jack felt like everything was ending, where did that leave them? He had to know.

Jack looked hurt. Even in the darkness, he could tell that much. 'You want to end things?'

'What? No!' he quickly exclaimed, trying not to run the car off the road. 'I just thought that you meant,' he didn't finish the sentence, unsure what he thought Jack meant, or maybe just unable to put it into words. Was Jack breaking up with him?

Jack reached out and placed a warm hand on Ianto's leg. 'I don't want things to end either. But I also don't want you to give up your life for me. None of you,' he added.

Ianto would have given up his life a hundred times over just for five more minutes with Jack, but he didn't say it out loud. Jack was an idiot if he thought otherwise.

'You're our leader and our friend. No one is giving up anything. Things aren't ending, they're just changing. Owen will find a way through. He's still here thanks to you, even if it wasn't quite what you had in mind. None of us regret that. And maybe Gwen will move on from Torchwood some day, but that doesn't mean you won't ever see her again. And Tosh, she loves this job. She wouldn't be doing it otherwise, and she's not giving up anything she doesn't want to. One day Owen will grow up and see what's right in front of him.'

Jack chuckled at Ianto's last comment. One day, he thought hopefully.

'And you?' he asked reluctantly.

'I'm not going anywhere. If you don't believe the rest, then believe this. Maybe I worry about you being the one to leave.' He wouldn't normally he have been so forward, but he was tired, and subtle was too exhausting. Besides, Jack was useless at reading between the lines.

'You think I would leave you?'

'Well, you've got priors,' Ianto confessed.

'I know. I'm sorry,' he apologised for the hundredth time. 'Every day I was stuck on the Valiant I thought of you, and how I would make it up to you for leaving. It's a work in progress.'

'I know. You needed answers and there wasn't time for explanations.'

Jack sighed. 'I should have tried to find another way.'

'And maybe if you had, we'd have all ended up on the Valiant with you, being tortured.'

'But you were,' Jack tried to explain, before being cut off. In his timeline, that's exactly what had happened.

'My point is,' Ianto pressed on, 'we weren't, and it never happened. Not really. You can't change that. You talk about everything ending, and forget that because of what you did, that things didn't end.'

'I think The Doctor should take most of the credit for that. And Martha Jones.'

Now it was Ianto's turn to chuckle. 'By your recollections, he would have fallen to his death within five minutes of you all landing there.'

'True,' he supposed, remembering how he'd pulled the ambitious Time Lord back in the knick of time from the door they'd broken into in the silo, nearly falling down the massive shaft that contained the rocket destined for Utopia.

'So we're good? The world isn't ending on you?'

'We're good,' Jack confirmed, giving Ianto's leg a playful squeeze.

'Wow,' Ianto muttered to himself a few minutes later.

'You're surprised?' asked Jack.

'No, I mean, wow, I don't usually talk that much.'

'You're just tired. You always babble when you're tired.'

'I don't babble,' he argued.

'Did I mention that you're also argumentative? '

'Am n-, never mind,' he said glumly, realising Jack was in fact right.

Comments

[bk_forever]

I really like this, it's now my headcanon for Jack's behaviour during Gwen's wedding. He doesn't want things to change, but at the same time, he's worried that he's holding his team, his friends, back from the lives they deserve to have. Poor Jack, he just doesn't understand tat this is the life his team has chosen and they wouldn't want any other life. Well, maybe Owen would wish he was still properly alive, but...

[m-findlow.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm chuffed that you've converted it to canon! :) To be honest, I wasn't happy with the ending. I kind of got as far as the start of their conversation and didn't know where to go with it after that. The ending is a bit poor, but I wanted to get it in before the challenge closed. Maybe I'll come back to it and edit the ending.

[bk_forever]

I liked the ending, but we all have things that don't turn out as we'd hoped, or feel a bit rushed, so it's good to have the option of editing. I re-edit most of my challenge pieces before posting to my journal.