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Title: Turning heads
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG.
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: Minor spoilers for audioplay “Serenity”
Author notes: Written for Challenge 179 - Faking it at
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Summary: The newest couple on the block are turning heads for all the right reasons.
Ianto gave a worried glance towards Jack as they turned up the gated front of the house next door. Even though to his eyes, Jack looked just as he always did, dressed in his usual military style garb and sweeping greatcoat, he knew that wasn’t what everyone else would see. Just as no one would notice that he was wearing his suit, even though he had a wardrobe of perfectly acceptable denim and cashmere sweaters. In his mind, this was work, and that meant dressing for work. That was the beauty of the perception filters they were wearing. It took the sharp edges off their otherwise half-hearted disguise. He only hoped it worked. They weren’t meant to be hidden from view, just to fit in with everyone else.
Jack leaned in close to his ear as they walked up the neatly trimmed path. ‘Just remember, we’re just the happily married couple from next door, okay?’
Ianto bristled, gritting his teeth. ‘I know what I'm doing!’ he hissed. ‘I swear…’ he didn't finish the sentence, knowing that starting an argument now was a bad idea. Instead he forced a smile onto his face, gripping the six-pack of beers just that little bit tighter. ‘Of course. We’re just so excited to be going to our first ever Sunday barbecue in our nice, perfect neighbourhood with all of our nice, perfect neighbours.’ Except that one of them was a deadly alien sleeper agent, which they'd come here to uncover.
‘That’s right,’ Jack said, pressing the doorbell and smiling broadly as the door opened.
‘Oh! Ken and Ifan! It’s so lovely to see you!’ Mary gushed. ‘I’m so glad you could make it. We’re just delighted to introduce you to everybody.’
Jack chuckled. ‘Not that everybody hasn't already taken it upon themselves to come knocking on our door to say hi! Gosh, what a lovely, friendly place this is!’
‘And we brought beer,’ Ianto interjected, cutting off Jack who was laying it on a bit thick in his opinion.
‘Oh, you shouldn’t have brought anything!’ Mary said. ‘Not for your first time.’
‘Well, we like to make a good impression.’
Mary smiled knowingly. ‘I bet you do. You’re already the talk of the whole neighbourhood. The perfect couple… You’ll make everyone jealous.’
‘Oh, we’re far from perfect,’ Jack replied, wrapping an arm around Ianto's waist. ‘Isn’t that right, honey?’
‘Not perfect at all,’ Ianto replied, knowing that much at least wasn’t a lie.
‘Come through to the back,’ Mary insisted. ‘I want to introduce you to Gaynor and Steve.’
Jack arched his eyebrow and Ianto shrugged back. That was what they were here for, wasn’t it?
Outside the yard was filled with the scent of charring meats and the thrum of chatter from people who looked like extras from the set of Pleasantville. Just the idea of having to make conversation with them filled Ianto with dread. Heads turned when they entered the scene, and Mary clapped her hands together, making the big announcement that Serenity Plaza’s newest couple were here. There was sickeningly overdone applause and cheering, but all Ianto did was scan the faces for the one that was no doubt narrowing its eyes at them – giving itself away as their quarry. Disappointingly, there was nothing but a sea of cosmetically enhanced smiles and shiny, bleached teeth. Oh, God.
Ianto felt this arm being tugged, finding Mary on the other end of it even as her husband Bob was pumping Jack's hand in greeting. They were escorted over to the magazine ready couple that could surely only be Gaynor and Steve.
‘Well, if it isn’t the competition!’ Steve joked. ‘You’re going to start making us all look bad.’
‘Pshaw!’ Jack replied, putting on his attempt as bashfulness which wasn’t nearly as effective as he seemed to think it was. ‘We’re nothing special.’
‘And what do you do for a living?’
Ianto took control of the narrative before Jack could take a breath. ‘Ken is the head of merchandising at Meyers.’
‘Oh, the big department store? They have just the most stunning displays.’
‘All his work,’ Ianto effused. ‘Turned down a job at Harrods last year just so we could stay here in Wales. We love it here.’
‘Oh, yes, we saw the moving truck pulling up last week. We watched it unloading. All that gorgeous furniture. We simply must have the tour. Is that your merchandising talent at work?’
Jack's arm settled itself back around Ianto, pulling him close to his side. ‘Oh, no. Ifan is the one with the eye for perfection. He's a retired architect.’
‘Retired?’
Jack nodded. ‘All the long hours and the stress. We decided it was too much. We don't both need to work. I earn more than enough to support us both.’
Ianto cringed, even if it was the cover story they'd agreed on. Being a kept man just hadn’t sat right with him, but someone needed to be here during the day to watch the neighbourhood. ‘I’m sure I'll be able to pick up some consulting work I can do from home,’ Ianto said, changing their story slightly so that he didn't feel like a prize bride. He wrapped his arms around Jack and rested one palm protectively across his chest. ‘I can’t have Ken slaving away forever.’
‘And we wanted plenty of time at home for when we have kids,’ Jack added, also going off script. ‘We want a large family and I think we’ve just found the perfect place to start making that dream come true.’
Ianto beamed at him and then Jack kissed him, right there in front of everyone. It was mortifying.
‘It's not them,’ Ianto said, as they finally made their getaway. They’d barely had a chance to speak to anyone else after Gaynor had hijacked the conversation.
‘Probably not,’ Jack agreed. ‘But there’s always next weekend.’
Next weekend. Great. At this rate they weren’t going to get out of Serenity Plaza and back to their real lives for months.
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG.
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: Minor spoilers for audioplay “Serenity”
Author notes: Written for Challenge 179 - Faking it at
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Summary: The newest couple on the block are turning heads for all the right reasons.
Ianto gave a worried glance towards Jack as they turned up the gated front of the house next door. Even though to his eyes, Jack looked just as he always did, dressed in his usual military style garb and sweeping greatcoat, he knew that wasn’t what everyone else would see. Just as no one would notice that he was wearing his suit, even though he had a wardrobe of perfectly acceptable denim and cashmere sweaters. In his mind, this was work, and that meant dressing for work. That was the beauty of the perception filters they were wearing. It took the sharp edges off their otherwise half-hearted disguise. He only hoped it worked. They weren’t meant to be hidden from view, just to fit in with everyone else.
Jack leaned in close to his ear as they walked up the neatly trimmed path. ‘Just remember, we’re just the happily married couple from next door, okay?’
Ianto bristled, gritting his teeth. ‘I know what I'm doing!’ he hissed. ‘I swear…’ he didn't finish the sentence, knowing that starting an argument now was a bad idea. Instead he forced a smile onto his face, gripping the six-pack of beers just that little bit tighter. ‘Of course. We’re just so excited to be going to our first ever Sunday barbecue in our nice, perfect neighbourhood with all of our nice, perfect neighbours.’ Except that one of them was a deadly alien sleeper agent, which they'd come here to uncover.
‘That’s right,’ Jack said, pressing the doorbell and smiling broadly as the door opened.
‘Oh! Ken and Ifan! It’s so lovely to see you!’ Mary gushed. ‘I’m so glad you could make it. We’re just delighted to introduce you to everybody.’
Jack chuckled. ‘Not that everybody hasn't already taken it upon themselves to come knocking on our door to say hi! Gosh, what a lovely, friendly place this is!’
‘And we brought beer,’ Ianto interjected, cutting off Jack who was laying it on a bit thick in his opinion.
‘Oh, you shouldn’t have brought anything!’ Mary said. ‘Not for your first time.’
‘Well, we like to make a good impression.’
Mary smiled knowingly. ‘I bet you do. You’re already the talk of the whole neighbourhood. The perfect couple… You’ll make everyone jealous.’
‘Oh, we’re far from perfect,’ Jack replied, wrapping an arm around Ianto's waist. ‘Isn’t that right, honey?’
‘Not perfect at all,’ Ianto replied, knowing that much at least wasn’t a lie.
‘Come through to the back,’ Mary insisted. ‘I want to introduce you to Gaynor and Steve.’
Jack arched his eyebrow and Ianto shrugged back. That was what they were here for, wasn’t it?
Outside the yard was filled with the scent of charring meats and the thrum of chatter from people who looked like extras from the set of Pleasantville. Just the idea of having to make conversation with them filled Ianto with dread. Heads turned when they entered the scene, and Mary clapped her hands together, making the big announcement that Serenity Plaza’s newest couple were here. There was sickeningly overdone applause and cheering, but all Ianto did was scan the faces for the one that was no doubt narrowing its eyes at them – giving itself away as their quarry. Disappointingly, there was nothing but a sea of cosmetically enhanced smiles and shiny, bleached teeth. Oh, God.
Ianto felt this arm being tugged, finding Mary on the other end of it even as her husband Bob was pumping Jack's hand in greeting. They were escorted over to the magazine ready couple that could surely only be Gaynor and Steve.
‘Well, if it isn’t the competition!’ Steve joked. ‘You’re going to start making us all look bad.’
‘Pshaw!’ Jack replied, putting on his attempt as bashfulness which wasn’t nearly as effective as he seemed to think it was. ‘We’re nothing special.’
‘And what do you do for a living?’
Ianto took control of the narrative before Jack could take a breath. ‘Ken is the head of merchandising at Meyers.’
‘Oh, the big department store? They have just the most stunning displays.’
‘All his work,’ Ianto effused. ‘Turned down a job at Harrods last year just so we could stay here in Wales. We love it here.’
‘Oh, yes, we saw the moving truck pulling up last week. We watched it unloading. All that gorgeous furniture. We simply must have the tour. Is that your merchandising talent at work?’
Jack's arm settled itself back around Ianto, pulling him close to his side. ‘Oh, no. Ifan is the one with the eye for perfection. He's a retired architect.’
‘Retired?’
Jack nodded. ‘All the long hours and the stress. We decided it was too much. We don't both need to work. I earn more than enough to support us both.’
Ianto cringed, even if it was the cover story they'd agreed on. Being a kept man just hadn’t sat right with him, but someone needed to be here during the day to watch the neighbourhood. ‘I’m sure I'll be able to pick up some consulting work I can do from home,’ Ianto said, changing their story slightly so that he didn't feel like a prize bride. He wrapped his arms around Jack and rested one palm protectively across his chest. ‘I can’t have Ken slaving away forever.’
‘And we wanted plenty of time at home for when we have kids,’ Jack added, also going off script. ‘We want a large family and I think we’ve just found the perfect place to start making that dream come true.’
Ianto beamed at him and then Jack kissed him, right there in front of everyone. It was mortifying.
‘It's not them,’ Ianto said, as they finally made their getaway. They’d barely had a chance to speak to anyone else after Gaynor had hijacked the conversation.
‘Probably not,’ Jack agreed. ‘But there’s always next weekend.’
Next weekend. Great. At this rate they weren’t going to get out of Serenity Plaza and back to their real lives for months.