Torchwood: Fanfic: Going nuts

[m_findlow]

Title: Going nuts
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Torchwood team
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 475 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for badly_knitted's prompt "Torchwood, Team or any, Pelted with coconuts" at fic_promptly
Summary: A new visitor from the rift is driving the team nuts

The team stumbled through the long grasses and then across the undulating, shifting sands until they reached their destination.

Jack stopped and placed his hands on his hips, looking skyward.

'Well that's something you don't see every day on a beach in the middle of Wales,' he observed.

'At least it fell through the rift to the right spot,' Ianto concluded. 'But for the grey clouds and the drizzle, you could almost be convinced that it belonged here.'

On a secluded beach about ten miles from Penarth, stood a tall palm tree. It must have been over twenty five feet tall, its long palm fronds stretching out from the centre and creating a huge umbrella of foliage. Had there been any sunlight at all, the shadow it cast would have been enormous. Instead it looked sad and windswept, like a victim of a tropical storm.

They circled its impressive girth, noting how it had already managed to root itself firmly into the berm.

'Owen, you're our resident botanist. Is it alien?'

'Better question,' Gwen added, 'if it is alien, how the hell do we move it?'

Owen began running scans of the trunk up and down its length whilst the others began digging into the sand, running scans and trying to figure out just how far down it went.

It wasn't until Owen took a scraping of bark, that things went pear shaped. No sooner had he stripped the tree then down came crashing one of its coconuts, aimed where he'd just been standing a moment ago, and fortunate not to have hit him.

'Oi! Bloody hell!' Owen cursed.

'That was lucky,' Jack said, still laughing at Owen's near miss, when a second coconut came diving towards Jack at colossal speed. He only just managed to duck away. Another followed shortly after, as if annoyed by the lack of success with the first.

'I think we've established whether it's alien or not,' Gwen exclaimed, diving away from the tree.

'You think?' Ianto replied, heaving his backpack at one aiming for Tosh, still knelt in the sand, packing away their gear, and sending it flying off harmlessly down the shoreline.

'Everybody outta the way!' Jack ordered as they fled from the palm's reaches.

'Ha!' he cried, watching as the coconuts continued to pelt down helplessly, unable to reach them from a distance.

'I reckon we clear off before it figures out how to aim them horizontally,' Owen suggested.

'I never though I'd have wished for a Norfolk Pine instead,' quipped Ianto.

From the safety of the SUV, they watched as the palm ran out of ammunition, or was simply bored of having no moving targets.

'So now what?'

'It stays here until we can remove it without being killed. A tank ought to do the trick, and I think UNIT owe us a favour or two.'

Comments

[bk_forever]

Awww, poor tree! It was harmless untill Owen hurt it, it was just defending itself. I vote it should be left in peace, although it probably won't survive very long because of the chilly conditions.

Thanks for the fill!