Fandomweekly Challenge 215 - Meant to live
Jan. 1st, 2025 12:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
m_findlowTitle: Meant to live
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: Spoilers for Miracle Day.
Author notes: Written for Challenge 215 - Normal at![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomweekly
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: Spoilers for Miracle Day.
Author notes: Written for Challenge 215 - Normal at
fandomweeklySummary: Jack’s long life has to have some greater purpose.
Jack was in a lot of pain from the gunshot wound to his stomach. The bullet was still in there somewhere, burning deep within on its path, tearing through important organs and tissue, trying to find a way out the other side and failing. So much for claiming he had abs of steel.
He'd lost a lot of blood, drifting in and out of consciousness, but he was having a rare moment of lucidity. His surrounds came to him in sharp relief through a gap in a doorway. A RadioShack sign hung at an awkward angle behind a counter, little metal hang cells adorning the wall underneath it in neat rows, but almost all of them stripped of whatever had been there before. Probably expensive batteries and other easy to steal items.
Not that it mattered now. The whole store had been ransacked over the weeks and months since the Miracle, leaving an abandoned shell. As the world had come to grips with a new reality where nobody could die, civil unrest had become the new normal. People came to understand that there were no ill consequences for crime anymore, so long as you didn't get caught. Police aiming guns and demanding the perpetrators get on the ground with their hands on their head no longer mattered. A bullet couldn't stop you, and for those who weren't criminally inclined, it was the danger posed by those that were. Every man for himself, all coexisting unhappily in a nightmarish world where death had no meaning. There was only one person left on Earth who could die now, and things weren’t looking good for him.
He moved his head slightly to the right, noticing Ianto sitting there on the floor close by, watching over him as he drifted. Of course Ianto was there. Even before Jack had been shot, forcing him to struggle to understand what was real and what wasn't, Ianto had been there. Jack hadn't admitted to anyone, not even Gwen, that he was seeing things that weren't there. Worse, he'd had whole conversations with his dead lover's ghost. He couldn't let anyone know that he was losing it, and had been for a long while, still lost in the grief of having lost the person he loved more than any he'd known for such a long time.
Jack felt cold, wishing he could ask Ianto to remove the balled up greatcoat from under his head and blanket him in its warmth, but people who didn't exist couldn't help him.
Ianto cocked his head slightly, noticing Jack's eyes open and taking in their surroundings. ‘You're awake.’
Jack tried for words but they didn't come. He licked his parched lips and tried again. ‘I'm dying.’
‘You're not dying,’ Ianto told him. ‘You're in a bad way, certainly, but Esther will be back soon and she'll have medical supplies and lots of nice painkillers so that we can get that bullet out of you and have you all patched up. You just have to hang in there a little bit longer.’
Esther. At least she was real. Maybe she'd be back and maybe she wouldn't be. If she had any sense she'd run a million miles and leave Jack to fend for himself. She was in danger every second she remained at Jack's side.
‘Maybe it's time,’ Jack replied. ‘Death’s been after me for so long. Then we can rest.’
Ianto's face scrunched into a concerned frown. ‘You and I both know what death is. There's no set of pearly white gates and on the other side, everyone you've ever known and loved, waiting there to be with you forever. There's no us, Jack. No happily ever after. It's just nothing. Once we're dead, we're gone forever.’
‘You're not,’ Jack argued.
‘I'm not some apparition from beyond the grave. Not a perfect copy of the man who lived. I'm just in your head. You know that's weird, right?’
Jack ignored the gentle insult. ‘You're pretty perfect to me.’
‘A perfect copy of your memory of me, then, which is not the same.’ He sighed and stared wistfully out into nothingness. ‘You and I were never destined for a normal life. I think you knew that, you just couldn't accept it. Maybe I couldn't either. How do you love a man who's going to live forever when you only have one short life to give him?’
Jack stared up into those blue eyes. ‘I needed you. I needed to be able to make a difference.’
‘And you have been,’ Ianto reassured him. ‘One hundred and ten years and counting. It's why you need to keep going, right when that world needs you most.’
Jack sighed. ‘It's too big for me, Ianto. It's not just the rift spitting out aliens in one city. The whole world is wrong. Too many people, no way to control it.’ A sudden sob erupted from deep within, catching him by surprise. ‘I don't wanna die like this,’ he whispered.
Rather than admonish him, Ianto simply tipped his head to the side and studied Jack. ‘Like what?’
‘Alone.’
‘You're not alone.’
‘No one's even going to notice I'm gone,’ he mumbled. ‘I'm supposed to die saving the world. Instead it'll mean nothing.’
‘I'll miss you. It'll matter to me.’
Jack twisted around, feeling a fresh wave of pain as he railed against his imagined friend. ‘You're not even real!’ Ianto was as dead as Jack was soon to be.
‘Shh…’ That one sound silenced Jack and filled him with a calm that dampened his panic. He slumped back onto the cold, hard floor and closed his eyes. He imagined he could feel a warm thumb stroking his cheek and a hand running soothing motions through his hair.
‘You're not going to die,’ Ianto repeated. ‘We’re here to help you and when you're strong enough you're going to keep fighting to put the world right because you're the only one who can. There's a reason you're meant to live forever.’
Jack was in a lot of pain from the gunshot wound to his stomach. The bullet was still in there somewhere, burning deep within on its path, tearing through important organs and tissue, trying to find a way out the other side and failing. So much for claiming he had abs of steel.
He'd lost a lot of blood, drifting in and out of consciousness, but he was having a rare moment of lucidity. His surrounds came to him in sharp relief through a gap in a doorway. A RadioShack sign hung at an awkward angle behind a counter, little metal hang cells adorning the wall underneath it in neat rows, but almost all of them stripped of whatever had been there before. Probably expensive batteries and other easy to steal items.
Not that it mattered now. The whole store had been ransacked over the weeks and months since the Miracle, leaving an abandoned shell. As the world had come to grips with a new reality where nobody could die, civil unrest had become the new normal. People came to understand that there were no ill consequences for crime anymore, so long as you didn't get caught. Police aiming guns and demanding the perpetrators get on the ground with their hands on their head no longer mattered. A bullet couldn't stop you, and for those who weren't criminally inclined, it was the danger posed by those that were. Every man for himself, all coexisting unhappily in a nightmarish world where death had no meaning. There was only one person left on Earth who could die now, and things weren’t looking good for him.
He moved his head slightly to the right, noticing Ianto sitting there on the floor close by, watching over him as he drifted. Of course Ianto was there. Even before Jack had been shot, forcing him to struggle to understand what was real and what wasn't, Ianto had been there. Jack hadn't admitted to anyone, not even Gwen, that he was seeing things that weren't there. Worse, he'd had whole conversations with his dead lover's ghost. He couldn't let anyone know that he was losing it, and had been for a long while, still lost in the grief of having lost the person he loved more than any he'd known for such a long time.
Jack felt cold, wishing he could ask Ianto to remove the balled up greatcoat from under his head and blanket him in its warmth, but people who didn't exist couldn't help him.
Ianto cocked his head slightly, noticing Jack's eyes open and taking in their surroundings. ‘You're awake.’
Jack tried for words but they didn't come. He licked his parched lips and tried again. ‘I'm dying.’
‘You're not dying,’ Ianto told him. ‘You're in a bad way, certainly, but Esther will be back soon and she'll have medical supplies and lots of nice painkillers so that we can get that bullet out of you and have you all patched up. You just have to hang in there a little bit longer.’
Esther. At least she was real. Maybe she'd be back and maybe she wouldn't be. If she had any sense she'd run a million miles and leave Jack to fend for himself. She was in danger every second she remained at Jack's side.
‘Maybe it's time,’ Jack replied. ‘Death’s been after me for so long. Then we can rest.’
Ianto's face scrunched into a concerned frown. ‘You and I both know what death is. There's no set of pearly white gates and on the other side, everyone you've ever known and loved, waiting there to be with you forever. There's no us, Jack. No happily ever after. It's just nothing. Once we're dead, we're gone forever.’
‘You're not,’ Jack argued.
‘I'm not some apparition from beyond the grave. Not a perfect copy of the man who lived. I'm just in your head. You know that's weird, right?’
Jack ignored the gentle insult. ‘You're pretty perfect to me.’
‘A perfect copy of your memory of me, then, which is not the same.’ He sighed and stared wistfully out into nothingness. ‘You and I were never destined for a normal life. I think you knew that, you just couldn't accept it. Maybe I couldn't either. How do you love a man who's going to live forever when you only have one short life to give him?’
Jack stared up into those blue eyes. ‘I needed you. I needed to be able to make a difference.’
‘And you have been,’ Ianto reassured him. ‘One hundred and ten years and counting. It's why you need to keep going, right when that world needs you most.’
Jack sighed. ‘It's too big for me, Ianto. It's not just the rift spitting out aliens in one city. The whole world is wrong. Too many people, no way to control it.’ A sudden sob erupted from deep within, catching him by surprise. ‘I don't wanna die like this,’ he whispered.
Rather than admonish him, Ianto simply tipped his head to the side and studied Jack. ‘Like what?’
‘Alone.’
‘You're not alone.’
‘No one's even going to notice I'm gone,’ he mumbled. ‘I'm supposed to die saving the world. Instead it'll mean nothing.’
‘I'll miss you. It'll matter to me.’
Jack twisted around, feeling a fresh wave of pain as he railed against his imagined friend. ‘You're not even real!’ Ianto was as dead as Jack was soon to be.
‘Shh…’ That one sound silenced Jack and filled him with a calm that dampened his panic. He slumped back onto the cold, hard floor and closed his eyes. He imagined he could feel a warm thumb stroking his cheek and a hand running soothing motions through his hair.
‘You're not going to die,’ Ianto repeated. ‘We’re here to help you and when you're strong enough you're going to keep fighting to put the world right because you're the only one who can. There's a reason you're meant to live forever.’
