m_findlow

Title: Random testing

Fandom: Torchwood

Characters: Jack, Ianto

Author: m_findlow

Rating: PG

Length: 400 words

Content notes: None

Author notes: Written for Challenge 467 - Time at

drabble_zone

Summary: Jack never enjoys running into the local constabulary. A quadruple drabble.

Jack caught the flash of blue and white lights up ahead and groaned loudly. 'Great, that's all we need, some incident jamming up the roads. Can you see what it is?'

Ianto leaned closer to his window and peered towards the lights. 'Looks like it's one of those random drug and alcohol testing vans. That'll be why they've cordoned off the right lane, forcing everyone to merge and stop for testing.'

Jack ground his teeth as the cars slowly snaked forward in front of him. 'We don't have time for this.'

'We were picking up dry cleaning and pastries. I don't think that makes us terribly pressed for time.'

'They'll wave us through though, right? We're Torchwood. We're on official business.'

'If you say so,' Ianto replied.

Jack finally reached the top of the queue and was waved to stop. 'Random breath testing, sir,' the officer said. 'And I'll need to see your licence as well.'

Jack laughed and smiled. 'Very funny, guys, but if you could, we do have places we need to be.'

'If you could please blow into this for at least five full seconds,' the policemen said, proffering up the machine.

'No, seriously. We're Torchwood. Name's on the roof.'

The officer frowned at something off to the side, then walked around the SUV and came back. 'Are you aware of the excess exhaust fumes coming from your vehicle, sir?'

'Fumes?' Jack could feel fumes coming from his ears. Those should have been more worrying.

'I'll need you to take this vehicle to your closest emissions testing centre in the next three days to have it checked. If you're found to be outside acceptable limits you'll be charged a £550 on the spot fine. Now, as I said, if you could breathe into this for me, sir.'

Jack clenched his jaw around the tube, blowing hard as he could, which wasn't hard given his temper. Then he was made to rifle through his pockets, producing his wallet and driver's licence, whilst all the while wondering if this wasn't still a stitch up.

The policeman handed back his licence after an agonising wait. 'Thank you, sir. We'll check your registration in the next five business days to confirm everything's in order. Drive safe.'

Jack floored the accelerator, not caring if they wanted to book him for speeding as well. He glared at Ianto. 'Now who's got time, huh?'