Torchwood: Fanfic: The naked truth

[m_findlow]

Title: The naked truth
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Torchwood team
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,133 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, "No, not having any clean clothes is not an excuse." at fic_promptly
Summary: Some battles can never be won

Ianto put up with a lot of things with regards to Jack. From his horrendous eating habits, to his need to flirt with anything and everything that breathed, his penchant for throwing himself headlong into danger, regardless of the consequences for his own safety and life, and his outrageous stories and histrionics, but even the most mild mannered and loving partner could only stand to put up with so much. Sometimes it was funny, other times endearing, and occasionally just plain wrong, but he'd somehow learned to live with it all and accept that this was all part of what made him the person that Ianto loved so dearly.

Jack also had absolutely no qualms about being naked, in front of Ianto, or anyone else for that matter. In fairness, there was nothing that was unattractive or objectionable about his looks, but for all of that, it still caused embarrassment amongst his teammates, and was not a little bit distracting for Ianto personally.

And Jack could find any number of reasons to parade around the hub in nothing more than his birthday suit, often claiming that injuries healed better if clothes didn't get stuck in the way of flesh restoring itself to his bones, or that this slime or that alien pollen was particularly corrosive, even after bathing, and that Ianto would be devastated if Jack somehow got it on his ever faithful coat and ruined it. There was always some unfortunate logic behind his reasons, so Ianto had just learned to go along with it, as had the rest of them.

That was how it was when he entered the hub late in the morning, having been left in their bed at his apartment to catch up on sleep after Jack had decided that he was perfectly capable of feeding the residents himself, allowing Ianto a much deserved lie in. He'd taken the opportunity to get a few odd jobs out of the way with his morning off, having not slept much after Jack left in any case. It just wasn't the same knowing he wasn't there, despite how tired he may have been. It was the same tiredness that lead him to completely ignore the glimpse of bare flesh sat at Jack's desk when he'd sauntered in, bringing fresh, hot coffee. Whatever it was this time, he was still too tired to care. He'd just remember to warn the others of the current situation when they went near Jack's office, to spare their blushes.

It wasn't until much later in the afternoon, that Ianto realised Jack was still going about his day in nothing but his underpants. After several cups heavily laden with caffeine, and having gotten his most essential tasks out of the way, he'd finally had time to enquire as to what particular event had ailed Jack, or caused the result of his sans wardrobe appearance. None of the others seemed to know the why or wherefore, assuming that Ianto was about to provide them with the logical explanation.

'No! No, no, no!' the rest of the team heard Ianto's yelling with stunning clarity.

Owen grinned at Gwen. He loved it when they had a domestic because both of them would inevitably forget that he owed them a completed and probably overdue report, or hadn't filled out the appropriate requisition for some such object, or that the SUV needed cleaning and it was his turn. Tosh and Gwen were less enthused, as a row often meant that the pair of them wouldn't speak to each other for hours or even days, and that inevitably, they would each be forced to take a side, Gwen usually with Jack and Tosh usually with Ianto.

'You saw our cupboard this morning. I thought you knew!' they heard Jack yell back.

'I can't believe you could be this much of an idiot! We've been far too lenient about your behaviour for far too long. This is just not acceptable!'

'I just assumed you must have known and we're okay with it!'

'Okay with it? What part of your brain thought that was even a distinct possibility? I assumed that there was a perfectly good reason for it. I was even worried that perhaps the you'd been hurt this morning and that I hadn't been there to help! Owen certainly didn't say anything but that's not unusual either. Surely you had something here you could have put on?'

The conversation was beginning to intrigue the others and they began listening with purpose. There was honestly no such thing as a secret around here, and who could expect there to be when you aired your dirty laundry for all and sundry to hear?

'Not a shred,' Jack replied.

'Please tell me you didn't drive to the hub like that?'

'We've been busy, and if I recall correctly, you haven't done washing for nearly two weeks. How many clothes do you think I own?'

'Oh, so this is my fault now?'

'I didn't say that. I figured because you didn't say anything you weren't fussed.'

'Jack, you're not wearing any bloody clothes!'

'They're all dirty.'

'No!' the others heard Ianto's voice raise up another notch in volume. 'Not having any clean clothes is not an excuse. I can't be keeping tabs on your clean sock inventories as well as everything else!'

Ianto stormed out of Jack's office and the three of his teammates watched in stunned silence. 'Owen!' he barked. 'Get him some surgical scrubs for God's sake, and make sure he puts them on,' he instructed, hastily shrugging on his coat. That didn't bode well, Gwen thought. Ianto had to be pretty mad to just up and leave altogether.

'Where are you going?' Owen griped.

'Home to do our laundry, apparently, before Jack decides he's going to be saving the world in nothing but his underpants.'

'I thought you'd be okay with me saving the world in my underpants,' he replied, having crept out of his office and snuck up behind him. 'In fact, I would prefer nothing at all if it comes down to it.'

Ianto threw off Jack's placating hand on his shoulder.

'If it's the end of the world, I'd like to think that we at least went out with a bit of dignity.'

'Dignity?' Owen scoffed. 'Have you forgotten who you're talking to?'

'You're absolutely right, Owen,' Ianto replied, pulling his coat back off and tossing at him. 'I'm staying here to finish up some reports. Jack can go home and do the laundry.'

'Okay,' Jack replied. 'Just remind me before I go, is it the reds I'm not supposed to wash with the whites, or the blacks?'

Owen tossed Ianto his coat back. 'You're going to need this,' he said as Ianto huffed past him and out the door.

Comments

[bk_forever]

So, not entirely unexpected naked Jack then ;)

Poor Ianto, he really needs to make Jack do his own laundry. After all, he's the boyfriend, not the maid service! Jack is taking far too much for granted.