BTBD Challenge 45 - Incurable

[m_findlow]

Title: Incurable
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 546 words
Content notes: Written for Challenge 45 - Immune at beattheblackdog
Summary: Even Jack isn't immune to the effects of love

Sometimes he wishes he could just be immune. Life would be so much easier that way. Like any illness, he knows all the symptoms: racing heart, sweaty palms, dry mouth, his tongue all twisted in knots, hands unable to coordinate themselves; it's textbook. But he also knows that like any illness, once you start showing symptoms, it's already too late. The disease has taken a hold, and there's absolutely no cure at all for it. Love.

For Jack there could be no illness more devastating in its effects. It rushes through his veins and seeps out his skin, addling his mind and taking over complete control. And Jack knows that whilst not all the symptoms are bad, for him, love will always end badly. No matter what happens, he'll always be torn apart by this virulent malady, forced to say goodbye to everyone he's ever fallen for. Some will move on, knowing that the inevitable heartbreak is more than either of them can bear. Some will grow old, the lucky ones, and by that point they may not even remember who he is, or can at least provide him with the comforting thought that they had as long together as any couple might have done. Some will be taken well before their time, and the idea of losing them will be more than Jack's poor heart can cope with. The worst of them will grow resentful of his immortal life, always growing older whilst Jack stays just the same, coming to hate his undying youth, and knowing that they can never be together in the way that would make both of them happy.

And yet time and time again, Jack keeps letting the disease take over. He knows the costs, the hurt and the heartache, but he also knows that he can't go on living forever alone. Everyone needs love and validation, and Jack even more so. He needs to be reminded that there's a reason for him to keep living each and every day, and that there's more ahead of him than just endless days and loneliness.

And love is such a sweet drug, a happy drunken state, where he can lose himself, even if only for a short while, wrapped in its feverish embrace. There's no telling if it's because he's immortal, or just because he has such a big heart, that his capacity for loving, and falling in love, is so strong. It's like drowning in an endless ocean, swept up by the violent tides, before finally being dumped back on the shore, or perhaps dashed upon the jagged rocks. No matter how much he tells himself not to let it happen again, he finds himself reaching out for it, like a light in the vast,  empty darkness.

And he's not entirely to blame, he hasn't always initiated those first tentative steps into love.  So often, it's his lovers who have fallen for his irresistible charms, that easy smile and those amazing blue eyes. No doubt though, it doesn't take long Jack for fall head over heels at their attentions, opening up his heart again.

He might be immortal and from the far flung future, but he's still human, and there's no immunity to the inexplicable whims of love on the human heart.

Comments

[bk_forever]

Poor Jack, he can't help but love, it's too deeply enenched in his nature and always will be. Jack needs love like he needs air; without it he's not really living at all.