m_findlow

Title: Thankless job
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 675 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for badly_knitted's prompt "Torchwood, Ianto, Valet" at fic_promptly
Summary: Torchwood isn't a glamorous job for some

One thing he's learned in the few months he's been at Torchwood is that, whilst he works for Torchwood, he's not actually part of the team. He knows this because the team are the ones who get to do all the exciting stuff like go out and catch aliens, save the world, and experiment with cool gadgets that fall through the rift. They're also the ones that start the day at odd times and often finish at equally odd times. They're the ones that sit around eating pizza and drinking beers, laughing and joking about this misadventure or that one, listening to crazy stories from Jack about all the outlandish things he's seen and done in his years working for Torchwood and being their brave esteemed leader. Sometimes they even hit the town to celebrate their victories and conquests. But you only get to do those things if you're part of the team. Not Ianto, he's not part of the team.

He's the one that keeps to regular hours, being five am until whenever Jack decides he's had enough coffee for the day. Only occasionally do they ask him to deviate from his regular routine, and only then so that he can provide support in his role as their general dogsbody. He doesn't hang out with the team except to eat the occasional meal, and even then it's only because they've all stopped for sustenance. He doesn't actually partake in the laughter and the stories, just sitting there quietly listening as an outsider just as ever, which is basically what he is.

No, the big tell tale sign that he's not a member of the team is all about the car. The SUV is the single coolest piece of kit they own, and driving it is an honor and a privilege, reserved for members of the team. Ianto doesn't get to drive the SUV, well not in the traditional sense. He gets to drive it from Bute Street down into the car park when the rest of the team need to use the invisible lift, or when they just can't be bothered with navigating the underground car park, or when they need him to take it from point A to point B, whilst they're in pursuit of aliens, just so that don't have to carry unconscious aliens through the city streets. He gets to move the equipment in and out of the car because they're too busy to do it themselves. He gets to haul the car back out of the car park so that they can get quickly kitted out with their various guns and computers and meet him streetside. There's no time to waste when you've got to save the world, and having to navigate car parks seems to fall into that category.

He doesn't even get to drive it as far as the car wash, because they insist on getting it covered in so much alien muck, that the only safe way to dispose of it is to have it washed by hand. And guess who gets that lucky job? Certainly not the ones who drove it into said muck in the first place. Even bulky supplies don't get a look in. What if they need it for an emergency and Ianto is out doing their grocery shopping for them. Surely they're not expected to save the world in a Vauxhall Astra? They need to look cool and authoritative when they roll up at the crime scene, blue flashing lights and their name emblazoned in bright yellow on the roof of the car, or running sophisticated computer programs whilst in pursuit or en route. Driving the SUV tells people you're in charge, and Ianto is anything but in charge. He suspects that they only thing they let him be in charge of is the dishwasher, and even then only so the rest of them don't have to be.

Nope, Ianto is many things but he's not a member of the team. The SUV proves it. He's nothing more than their glorified valet.