Torchwood: Fanfic: Early intervention

[m_findlow]

Title: Early intervention
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,251 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Juliet316's prompt "Any, any, is that a gun under your chin, or are you just happy to see me?" at fic_promptly
Summary: When Jack is at his lowest, someone will be there to pull him out of the darkness.

He took in a long deep breathe and prepared himself. Just as he was about to finish it, he started at the sound of someone clearing their throat behind him. He spun around, coming face to face with Ianto.

'Is that a gun under your chin, or are you just happy to see me?'

Jack quickly pulled the webley away from where he'd been pressing its barrel against his throat, looking guilty.

'You're not supposed to be here,' Jack said, sounding annoyed.

'So you keep telling me.'

'And I'll keep telling you.'

'Next time I'll just go home quietly and let you blow your head off, shall I?'

Jack faced him down. 'I wouldn't have done it.'

'Yeah, you would have,' he replied. 'What's death to a man who can't die?'

Jack paled. 'No one's supposed to know.'

'Just Gwen, then,' Ianto replied, keeping that calm facade in place. He didn't sound jealous or angry, but then with Ianto you could never really tell.

'Put the gun down, Jack,' Ianto said, slowly closing the gap between them.

'No,' Jack said pulling it back up towards his throat. 'I deserve to die after what I did.'

Jack was taking it hard. He'd chosen to give up the little girl to the faeries rather than let them destroy the whole world. An awful decision, yes, but the right one. The only one. Funny how the rest of the team were still avoiding Ianto, not having completely forgiven him yet. Today thought they'd decided to share the day's events with him because they now hated him less than they hated Jack.

'No one else needs to die today,' Ianto said.

Jack felt angry at Ianto. He was angry at his own choices, and angry that the team had turned on him, when he needed their support the most. Now he was angry that he couldn't be left alone to deal with his pain.

'I seem to remember you telling me not all that long ago that you'd look forward to watching me suffer and die,' Jack spat back, hoping that it would incense Ianto enough to leave, or perhaps to do the deed himself.

As expected, Ianto's expression grew stormy. 'You'd like that, wouldn't you? It'd make you feel like your death was justified.'

'Right now I'd just like to not feel to anything at all.' He hadn't even realised he'd said it out aloud until Ianto's hand was reaching out, wrapping around the gun.

'No,' Jack pleaded. He wanted to be punished; needed to be punished. Surely if anyone could understand that, it was the person standing in front of him.

Ianto stared at him. 'I came back because I was worried about you. Now I know I was right to.'

The gun slowly slipped from his hand, gently pulled away by another hand.

'Killing yourself won't change what's happened. Dying doesn't make the pain go away.'

In Jack's shoes a few months ago he might have felt the same, but now he knew that he had to keep going every single day, and that only with his actions could he atone for the sins of the past. He'd tried Jack's method, filling his days off with sleeping pills and alcohol, seeking out oblivion, but none of it made the pain go away, and tomorrow he'd still have to go back to work and face it all again. He knew it was bordering on inappropriate, but he wrapped his arms around Jack and hugged him. They'd been physically close before, so he knew all of the contours of Jack's body in detail, but things had been different back then. This needed to mean something more.

Jack just stood there, unmoving as Ianto held him. He'd wanted forgiveness before but now he felt beyond redemption.

'Tough day,' he muttered when Ianto finally slipped away from him.

'They happen,' he replied. 'I'm going to make some coffee,' he announced. 'I'm leaving this here,' he said, referring to the gun now sitting on Jack's desk, 'because I trust you not to do anything silly.'

'Okay,' Jack replied meekly, wishing he had as much confidence in his own resolve as Ianto did.

Ianto returned ten minutes later with two steaming hot mugs. Jack was huddled in his chair, the gun neatly tucked back away in the drawer. The smell alone from those mugs was enough to lift his spirits just a little, and the warmth from wrapping his hands around it was a good second step.

'I wish coffee could fix everything,' Ianto said.

'If it did, you'd be out of a job.'

Jack tried to smile, but it still felt a bit hollow. The rest of the team, had they been here, might well have let him shoot himself, but the one person who was probably justified in letting him take the bullet had stopped him.

'How did you find out?' he asked.

Ianto could have been smug about it, but it wasn't in his nature. 'You gave me access to the archives. Unless there's four generations of Jack Harknesses, the reports are all about you.'

Of course. It was obvious when you thought about it. He might have deleted the electronic records, but he hadn't bothered with the paper ones, just assuming no one would ever take an interest.

'I didn't tell anyone else, and I wouldn't,' he added.

'I know.' Ianto was nothing if not highly principled.

He paused. 'I'm guessing you've done this a few times,' Ianto stated.

More than he could count, Jack thought glumly.

'I feel like life has just become a long string of bad decisions.'

'I think a lot of people feel like that,' he replied, slowly sipping at his mug.

'You?'

Ianto stared down at his lap. He didn't like talking about himself. He'd come here to help Jack. He nodded anyway, unable to say it out aloud.

Jack ran a hand down his face. He looked tired all of a sudden, as if more than just today weighed on his conscience.

'A fine pair we make, huh?'

'Strength in numbers, I suppose.'

Jack studied him, the young man ever a curiosity to him.

'I should take you home. It's late, and you'll need some sleep before the others come in tomorrow. I suspect they'll still be mad at me. I might need backup.'

'They won't be. They respect you too much.'

'I'm glad you think so.'

Jack reached for his coat off the hat stand as Ianto cleared away their mugs in the kitchen. Jack caught up with him, keys in hand.

'You're sure you'll be okay?' Ianto asked, unsure if he should let Jack come back here alone.

'I'm always okay,' he replied, and for the first time in a while he actually felt like he meant it.

'Lavender,' Ianto said.

'Huh?'

'When I have trouble sleeping, I use lavender.'

'I might have to try that,' he said, appreciating the suggestion and adding his own.

'Perhaps we could do this more often.'

Ianto raised an eyebrow. 'Talk you down from committing suicide?'

'No, I mean, catch up over coffee at the end of the day. Just chat. Remind ourselves that it's okay to not be infallible.'

'Do I get overtime pay?'

Jack wasn't sure if that was Ianto being serious again, or if he was being made fun of.

'I was kinda thinking it would be less of an employment arrangement and more of a friendship. I could really use a friend.'

Ianto gave a weak smile. 'I think I can live with that.'

Comments

[bk_forever]

Awwww! If anyone can understand Jack's feelings of guilt it's Ianto. He also understands that Jack didn't choose to sacrifice Jasmine, he never really had any choice in the matter. Jasmine wanted to go, and the fate of the entire world hung in the balance. Jack did the only thing he could, he let Jasmine follow her destiny.