m_findlow

Title: Quality time together
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,692 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for samuraiter's prompt "Any, any, I didn't lose it, I just willfully misplaced it" at fic_promptly
Summary: Jack has lost a vital piece of equipment

Ianto groaned again in frustration. Why did this always happen to them?

'Ow, ow, ow!' Jack winced as Ianto dragged him across the hub, reaching for his trousers.

'Keep up, will you?' Ianto griped, forcing Jack's arm viciously up and down as he dressed, trying not to get Jack's hand in the way as he zipped up the fly.

'Well, don't just stand there, get dressed!' Ianto barked.

'Um, hello, little problem here?' Jack said, hefting their arms up in the air, as if he'd clean forgotten about the handcuffs that now bound them together.

'A problem, that wouldn't be a problem, had the keys been in the drawer where they always are!'

'So I moved them. It's not the end of the world.'

'Yet,' Ianto quipped, still trying to figure out if there was a way to put his shirt on with Jack's right wrist still tethered to his left. One sleeve was easy, the other, well, that was proving difficult to overcome.

'Just admit that you've lost them, Jack. Or if you haven't, I'd sincerely hope that you are about to reveal their whereabouts in the next thirty seconds.'

'I... didn't lose them. I just, um.... willfully misplaced them,' he replied, sheepishly.

Ianto grunted, forcing his shirt on. He might not be able to get the arm in the sleeve, but he was determined to at least do up the lower half of the buttons across his middle, tucking it under his armpit.

'Where are we headed?' Ianto asked, trying to temporarily change the subject.

'Leckwith,' Jack replied. 'Looks like the weevils there have gone rogue. I'm counting at least five that have moved well out of their designated zone.'

'Lucky we stocked up on weevil spray last week. SUV should still be packed and ready to go.'

'Okay, let's move then,' Jack said, making for the door.

'Jack!' Ianto yelled, tugging him backwards.

'What?'

'Pants!'

Oh. Yes, might he need pants.

There was no argument about who would drive. The way they were cuffed together gave them only one option, though it didn't stop Jack from complaining that his arm was sore from hanging off the steering wheel, next to Ianto's which was gripped tightly around the wheel, still annoyed at their current predicament.

'Shut up and stop complaining,' Ianto grumbled. 'Spend your time more productively thinking of a list of places you might have put the keys. Failing that, consider how long it will take you to regrow another hand when I lop it off.'

Jack sighed. 'What's got you so tetchy tonight?'

'Do you really have to ask? We're about to try and recapture five rogue weevils and I'm stuck attached to a man who can't die.'

That was fair enough he supposed. Jack was always more likely to throw himself into danger, but now he'd have to remember that Ianto would be right there with him; just not quite in the same way as usual.

'I'll be careful, I promise.'

He rifled around in the glove box and passed a gun across to Ianto. He frowned at it.

'What do I need that for? I've already got mine.'

'It's fully automatic. You're only going to have one hand to shoot. I'm good, but my left hand isn't great for shooting.'

'Right,' Ianto said, realising just how difficult this was going to be. He was accustomed to having both hands available, one for his gun, one for his spray, and an injector pen of sedative ready in his right hand pocket.

'Perhaps we should add one handed weevil capture to our list of training exercises,' he joked.

'Yeah, because we don't get enough practise capturing weevils already,' Jack replied. The funny side of their situation was waning, and now he was beginning to understand just how dangerous this attempt might be.

They meandered down the road, searching for their quarry, who couldn't be far away. Just outside the main football stadium, they spied the gang of weevils loitering on a nearby practice pitch, which was fenced all around by cyclone fencing.

They pulled up and got awkwardly out of the car, Jack forcing Ianto to clamber over the gearsrick and out the passenger side. From their vantage point, they could see the weevils huddled in the middle of the pitch in something of a circle.

'Is it just me, or does it look like they're about to kick off?' Ianto asked.

'I don't think they came out here for a bit of five on five action,' Jack replied.

At that moment, things really did kick off, with two of the weevils lunging at each other whilst the other three stood on and growled.

'Looks more fight club than football,' Jack observed.

The tussle between the weevils continued, as two more entered the fray and the last one also eventually joined in, once one of the first bowed out. Ianto consulted his PDA

'The tags on these ones are all young male, according to this.'

'Aggressive too,' Jack said, watching them continue to spar.

Ianto looked down at their handcuffed wrists. Five was a lot, and the young males were the hardest because they put up the most fight. Practically speaking, they were completely outnumbered and outgunned. Even with Gwen here, it would be one hell of a struggle.

Ianto pulled hard at the cuff, with his free hand, trying to slip his wrist out.

'What are you doing?'

'What does it look like?' he sniped. 'If we go in there like this, we'll be slaughtered.'

Jack began pulling hard too, but his efforts were in vain. Ianto had the better chance of getting his hand out, being smaller than Jack's.

'We don't have any bolt cutters in the back do we?' Jack asked.

'And who's got two good hands to operate them?'

'Fair point. So what do we do? We can't leave the weevils to roam about.'

Ianto tugged Jack closer to the chain link fence. 'It's solid all around, except for the gates at the far end of the pitch. If we could chain and padlock the gates, we could trap them inside until morning. Hopefully by then we can have gotten out of these and fix up some tranquilizer darts.'

'Good idea. Plus it's freezing out here!'

'That's what you get for going topless,' Ianto chided, knowing how cold his exposed arm and shoulder felt. At least the rest of him was covered. He popped the boot and began searching the various containment boxes for a strand of loose chain and a padlock, one for which they might at least have keys, he thought ruefully.

'Hurry up,' Jack said, watching as the weevil battle looked to be winding down, three of them now looked to have been defeated, whilst two were still going at it.

'I'm trying, but your hand keeps getting in my way. It's all over the place.'

'Not usually something you complain about.'

'Got it,' he declared, holding up what they needed.

They began a slow scurry along the length of the fence, up towards the top gates, but as they were almost there, the weevils too were making their way toward the exit. Jack held them both back. At the rate the weevils were moving, it would be suicide to try and beat them to it.

'Dammit,' he heard Ianto curse.

Jack spun and nearly had his shoulder pulled out of his socket as he sent Ianto tumbling to the ground beside him in his haste.

'Come on, we have to get back to the car and follow them. If they move into more populated areas, we'll have to stop them somehow.'

They trotted back to the car which was in the opposite direction to the direction the weevils were heading, so Ianto had both eyes on his PDA and let Jack drag him back to the car by the wrist.

'Wait!' Ianto said. 'They're headed back the way they came.' He paused. 'And now they're going back down into the sewers.'

'Really?' Jack leaned over and watched the readings himself, seeing the five dots sink back below the subterranean level of the city. 'Huh,' he said.

'What do you think that was all about, then? Some kind of initiation?'

'Or a power play. Did you see the way the other four followed the one who won the fight?'

'So he's what, like their new leader?'

'Tribal Council has spoken, it would seem.'

'Huh,' Ianto replied. Weevils would never cease to be a curiosity.

They sat in the car for half an hour more, making sure the weevils were tucked in for the night before heading back to the hub, satisfied that the city would be safe for another night.

'All's well that ends well,' Jack declared as they entered the hub.

'Well, not quite everything,' Ianto said. 'There's still the small matter of us being stuck together.'

'Oh, that,' Jack replied. 'I remembered where I left the key whilst we were out.'

He held up his set of keys from his pocket, the small silver one dangling in amongst the larger silver ones and a half dozen old looking brass ones.

'You had it there the entire time and you didn't think to say anything?'

Jack shrugged. 'It wasn't until you made the comment about the key for the padlock that it occurred to me.'

'Idiot. Well, don't just stand there. Unlock this thing before I decide to put you on decaf for life.'

Ianto breathed a sigh of relief at the tiny clicking sound, as the lock mechanism released, freeing his slightly sore wrist. Jack rubbed his own slightly chafed wrist before wrapped both arms firmly around Ianto's waist.

'Now, where were we before we got so rudely interrupted?'

Ianto pushed Jack's arms away. 'Oh no, I think I've had quite enough of you for tonight,' he said, gathering up the blanket and pillow from underneath the sofa, and settling himself down on it. 'I'll see you in the morning.'

Jack made to protest, but Ianto had already closed his eyes and was ignoring Jack.

'You were the one who said we didn't spend enough time together,' he muttered as he trudged back to bed alone.