m_findlow

Title: House call
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 425 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, breaking in and taking stuff is just part of the job" at fic_promptly
Summary: The rift doesn't give a fig for right and wrong, and nor does Jack

'I really think we need to reconsider our approach,' Ianto said, standing hesitantly outside the large wrought iron gate.

'Don't be silly,' Jack said, laughing, already wrapping a hand around the bars and hauling himself up and over the gate.

'What about guard dogs? They probably have guard dogs that will eat us alive. Well, eat you alive, at least.'

'I’m not scared of some spoilt, puffed up little pooch.'

'I was thinking more along the lines of a vicious man-eating German Shepard.'

Jack huffed, straddling the gates and looking down at his companion. 'Quit complaining and move your very sexy butt.'

Jack was already jumping down onto the other side of the fence as Ianto reluctantly took hold of the cool metal bars, sighing.

'We really should have called ahead,' he said, trying not to be terribly ungraceful, yet also trying not to get his suit snagged on any sharp edges. Just once it would be nice if he could make them last more than a fortnight without ruining them.

'There wasn’t any time. Besides, breaking in and taking stuff is just part of the job. Not our fault it decided to land here when there was no one home.'

Ianto finally managed to drop himself down to the ground below, prepared to run at the first signs of the Hound of Baskerville.

'Yes, we do need to discuss this whole business of breaking in. One day it’s not going to pan out so well for us.'

'This thing has decided to drop in and not bother about the niceties. If we don’t get in there and deactivate it soon, there won’t be a house left to come home to.'

Jack strode purposefully across the yard and up to the house. He didn’t hesitate for a second at picking up the garden gnome which was standing by the door, slamming it through the glass panel on the front door and sticking his hand through to unlatch the door, shoving it open and sweeping inside. Ianto cringed at the broken glass now littering the threshold, certain that had they spent a few extra seconds looking around, there was probably a spare key hidden under the pot plant.

As he stepped up to the door where Jack had been stood moments ago, he spied the glittering silver key on the ground. Ah, under the gnome instead, he observed.

'And I’m all for saving the world,' Ianto agreed, 'but the First Minister isn’t going to be best pleased at the mess you’ve made of his front door.'