m_findlow

Title: Time wasted
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: Mini spoilers for Torchwood audioplay "Broken"
Author notes: Written for Challenge 451 - Hindsight at slashthedrabble
Summary: Jack should have just gone with his gut feel

Hindsight was a funny thing. If he looked back on the past few weeks, all the signs had been there. He’d simply chosen not to see them.

He felt guilty that he’d been so oblivious, thinking that he was doing the right thing by Ianto, leaving him alone to deal with the loss of his girlfriend. He’d always been struck by how much Ianto kept to himself, so he’d let him. On some level he’d known Ianto was hurting, but he’d just assumed that Ianto would come and speak to him if and when he was ready. The rash behaviour out in the field should have been the alarm bell waking him up to the fact that Ianto was merely internalising his pain.

To his credit, Ianto had tried to talk to him, but as usual, Jack was a world away, thinking everything was fine. Even when Ianto had called him out on it, he still refused to see it. If he hadn’t been so stupid and selfish, everything might not have panned out the way it did, finally coming to a head down in the cellar, Ianto doing the unthinkable and condemning Jack to a lifetime of slavery and torture. That wasn’t Ianto. Ianto was kind and considerate, but underneath that, he was hurting and angry that Jack hadn’t done more to help.

He’d always fancied Ianto just a little bit, knowing it would never amount to anything. Ianto was too straight for the likes of Jack. He wasn’t about to let that stop him from looking though; making comments about how luscious Ianto looked in those well cut suits. If only he’d looked a bit harder, he told himself again. That had always been his weakness, his inability to look past the outer shell. He was too much an expert of holding his own in place so that people wouldn’t look at him too deeply, seeing the broken conman hiding just under the surface.

He should have just kissed him and been done with it. To hell with the consequences. Maybe if he had, things would have turned out different. Ianto would have let Jack in so that he could stop him from whatever it was he felt he had to do to block out the pain. In short, Jack should have been there for him, but he’d been so utterly convinced that Ianto would never have feelings for him.

Even now it felt like a dream, remembering the split second when Ianto had gone from being furious at him to being pressed up against him. Sweet goddesses but that was one good kiss! He’d rarely ever felt flustered like that. Even with the floodgates thrown wide open, he still found himself trying to contain the situation. Just this once. Just this once because I could get used to being kissed like that, he wanted to say. He’d never been so glad that he couldn’t keep his promises.

Yup, definitely should have kissed him right at the start.