Torchwood: Fanfic: Sizing things up

[m_findlow]

Title: Sizing things up
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 276 words
Content notes: Warnings for lashings of innuendo.
Author notes: Written for badly_knitted's prompt "Any, any, Your hole's too small" at fic_promptly
Summary: The boys have a problem where size really does matter.

Ianto leaned over and inspected it, brow furrowed in deep contemplation.

'Nope,' he said, shaking his head. 'Your hole's too small.'

'What? Seriously?' Jack said, incredulous. 'I thought it was plenty big enough.'

'Well, maybe for something smaller,' Ianto said, 'but once we start teasing the balls, it's going to need to be much bigger to fit in it. Once you stick it in there, it's going to fill up pretty quick.'

'Balls?' Jack said, raising an eyebrow.

'Well, there's two of them, of course. It takes two to tango, you know. Call it a fruitful union, if you will.' He grinned, enjoying his own clever double entendres.

Jack couldn't believe it. He thought his hole was quite impressive. He'd been working at it long enough, and he really hadn't wanted to disappoint Ianto. Everything they'd done had been in preparation for this moment.

Ianto caught the look of devastation on Jack's face, reaching out a placating arm. 'It's fine,' Ianto said. 'We just need to make it bigger, that's all.'

'Well, I hope you're going to pitch in,' Jack sulked. 'I'm exhausted from just getting it this size.'

'Of course I'll help. I really didn't expect you to have done all this on your own in the first place. If anything, I'm impressed.'

'Y'know,' Jack said, 'I've heard people say it plenty of times, though not usually to me. I've never met a hole I couldn't fill.'

'I'll bet,' Ianto said, shaking his head at Jack's overt innuendo. 'Now come on, pass me that shovel. We've got a lot more work to do before these apple trees can take up permanent residence in our garden.'

Comments

[bk_forever]

I figured they were planting something, lol. Root balls ;)

Thanks for the fill!