Torchwood: Fanfic: Over before it's begun

[m_findlow]

Title: Over before it's begun
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Gwen, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 702 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, crush" at fic_promptly
Summary: Gwen makes a startling realisation

What's this?' he said, holding her hand up, as if she had no idea what was on her finger.

'That's an engagement ring, that is.'

'You're getting married?'

No, Jack Harkness, I just wanted to get your attention, you great idiot, she thought.

How long had she been at Torchwood, a year, a bit more? And in all that time, Jack had swirled around her like a storm, always there with a smile or a cheeky comment, always undressing her slightly with his eyes, but never, not once, had he actually made a move on her. She'd been with Rhys the whole time, but if she'd had even so much as the slightest indication that he was interested in her and wanted to pursue it, she would have dropped Rhys like a stone.

Jack was just so exciting and different, totally unlike Rhys. He was an energy she couldn't get enough of, and a mystery that she wanted to unravel one excruciating thread at a time. All he had to do was get just that little bit closer, touch her just that little bit more tenderly, and she'd have given it all up for him. But still he hadn't crossed that line. Hell, she'd even had a fling with Owen, and he was a sodding bastard half the time, yet still she'd jumped into bed with him for a bit of excitement. Perhaps she'd thought that sleeping with Owen might make Jack jealous, and might make him do something about it, but even when their little secret was out, he hadn't said anything. And instead all she'd felt was a horrible, gut wrenching guilt at having betrayed Rhys.

Then Jack had thrown her completely. Just when she'd thought perhaps something could happen, he'd gone and sacrificed himself for them. She waited vigilantly by his side as he lay there in death, assured that he would come back for her and instead he'd gone and kissed Ianto. Ianto? Of all the people in the world, he fancied him?

Now here he was, standing there, looking stunned that she'd gone and gotten herself engaged to someone else. Perhaps that had been the thing that had cinched it for her. Jack had just gone and left them without so much as a word or an explanation. Even now he was holding back on her, avoiding telling her the truth of where he'd been and what had happened to him.

That's when she knew she'd made the right decision. She loved Rhys, and Rhys would always be there for her, no matter what. He'd never just take off without saying anything, then come back and just expect everything to carry on as it had before. Rhys was dependable and honest, and his number one priority was Gwen.

Jack's number one priority would always be Jack, and she knew that would never change. She'd be kidding herself to think that she could ever make him settle down. Maybe he had a crush on her, and maybe she'd had one on him, but things were different now. She saw them for how they really were, and the truth of it was that Jack couldn't be tied down into a committed relationship, and perhaps he never wanted to be, but he liked to toy with the idea. Part of him wanted her, but it wasn't enough just to want someone for the sake of knowing what it might be like for a short while. Gwen needed to know she'd be coming home to something real every day, and that it wasn't just a fleeting lie that they could enjoy for a few moments before it all turned sour. She had to be the one to make the decision for the both of them. Whether Jack realised it now or a hundred years from now, they could never be together.

'Good for you,' he said, giving her a hug. Would this be the last time he ever held her that close, and why did it hurt more because it was over than because it had never begun?

He's not for you Gwen, she told herself. One day you'll look back in this moment and realise you made the right decision.

Comments

[bk_forever]

Gwen's right, Jack never made a move on her despite all the opportunities she gave him. If he'd truly wanted her he would have, but he just likes to flirt and that's all she would ever have got from him. Rhys deserved better than to be be second best (or third if you count Owen). He should have been her first priority all along, but she always wanted to have her cake and eat it. She should consider herself lucky that Rhys didn't dump her because of the way she treated him.