Game of Thrones: Fanfic: Off the menu

[m_findlow]

Title: Off the menu
Fandom: Game of Thrones
Characters: Grenn, Pyp, Three Finger Hobb
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 367 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for paceisthetrick's prompt "Any, any, roast beast" at fic_promptly
Summary: Grenn never thought he'd long for bacon quite so much

Grenn poked at the object on his plate, giving Pip a sideward glance as he tucked into his own meal with relish. And people call me an Aurochs, he thought, watching as Pyp practically devoured it. Grenn jabbed it with his knife again, watching as the charcoal on the outside of it flaked away, leaving the pale grey meat visible underneath. It smelled okay - even verging on good - as the smoke wafted over the room. How long had it been since they'd had anything but dried, salted pork and thin stews that only hinted at meat. And people were saying winter had only just begun.

'Pyp,' he said, nudging his Black Brother. 'What do you suppose this is?' he said, referring to the grey lump on his plate. He was pretty sure wherever Jon was, he wasn't being fed the same, and Sam was probably feasting on lamprey pie and pomegranate wine in Oldtown.

'Who cares? Mutton probably.'

'And tell me, when did you last see any mutton brought up to the Wall? Mutton cooked proper should be pink. Even an idiot like me knows that.'

'Well,' Pyp replied, his mouth still full, 'why don't you go ask old Three Finger Hobb what it is then. Or if you won't eat it, give it to me.'

He could see Hobb on the other side of the room, laughing and having words with several other Brothers. He was about as good with a kitchen knife as he was a sword, which said more about his sword skills than it did his cooking. Still, he hadn't poisoned any of them so far.

'Oi, Hobb! What d'you call this?' Pyp sang out across the hall, hoisting his fork high in the air.

'Dunno,' Hobb replied. 'They brought it back from beyond the Wall and claimed there wasn't a cook in all the Seven Kingdoms who could make a meal out of it.' He shrugged. 'Meat's meat, if you ask me. Don't hear no one complaining.'

Pyp elbowed Grenn. 'Hear that? It's roast beast,' he said, grinning.

Grenn pushed the plate away. Where was it in his vows that he'd sworn to eat anything Three Finger Hobb put in front of him?