Slashthedrabble Challenge 462 - For now we live

[m_findlow]

Title: For now we live
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 462 - Mortality at slashthedrabble
Summary: Jack can't understand how Ianto be so blaise

Jack watched from his office window as Ianto went about, doing all the things he normally did once the rest of them had gone home for the day. There was a mental checklist in there somewhere, Jack knew, Ianto consciously ticking off items as he went. Clear the desks, do the dishes, collect reports, feed the residents, sweep through floor and a dozen other things. Every day, just like clockwork. It didn't matter what else the day had brought them, or if they arrived back a whole lot later than they expected, it was always the same. Ianto simply wouldn't call it a day until everything was done.

Jack let out a long breath. Tough day, he thought. One of the toughest. Somehow they'd all come out the other side without so much as a scratch. That didn't mean however that they'd been safe. Far from it. A few inches further left and the invading aliens would have cut down Owen and Ianto with their laser weapons right where they stood. It would have been so fast they wouldn't have even known what was happening.

He continued watching Ianto. It was as if nothing at all had happened, just going about like it was any ordinary day; not a day when he'd come within a hair's breath of losing his life. How did they do that? Jack wondered. Just brush it all off and carry on. He could die a hundred thousand times and he'd always come back. Death and dying didn't mean anything to him anymore, but it should mean something to the people he worked with. They were mortal. They had just this one life to give. How could they be so calm about it when the thought of what might have happened left Jack shaking and feeling sick.

He stood up from his desk and left his office sanctuary, walking towards Ianto.

'I'm not finished yet,' Ianto said, before Jack had gotten within six feet of him, hands plunged into the sink full of soapy water. 'Dishes first, then you can have playtime.'

'Fine,' Jack said, perturbed by the continued calm. 'Can we just talk about today, then?'

'Nothing to talk about,' Ianto said, pulling out the last mug and stripping off his gloves, picking up the tea towel.

'Ianto, I nearly lost you today! I think that's worth talking about.'

Ianto dropped the towel on the bench. 'Jack, if I stopped to think about all the craxy, dangerous, life threatening situations we face, where we all came within inches of being  killed, I'd either have a nervous breakdown or refuse to get out of bed in the morning.'

'But Ianto,'

'No, I'm serious. I know the risks, Jack. But I'm not going to sit here and dwell on all the might have beens whilst I'm still here. Isn't that enough?'

Jack shook his head. 'It's never enough.'

'I'm sorry that it upsets you, but I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. I love you.'

'Promise?'

'Promise.'

Comments

[jo02]

Yes, Jack is missing one of the points here. Ianto, in a philosophical mood, understands, that if he dies, once the dying is over, he won't be around to bemoan the fact, so he doesn't over-worry the point.

Jack, on the other hand, sooner or later, will always be the one left behind to morn another friend, lover, workmate, so of course he's going to over-worry the point on a regular basis.

Also - Ianto - don't make stupid promises you can't keep. Just saying.

[bk_forever]

Ianto will do his best to keep his promise, but he knows one day he won't be able to. Still, there's no point dwelling on the close calls because all that does is waste the time he's got. Jack needs to take a leaf out of Ianto's book - don't dwell on what might happen or could have happened. There'll be time enough for that when it does happen.