Torchwood Advent Challenge - 21st December

[m_findlow]

Title: Poor choice of words
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,412 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for prompt "Typographical Errors"
Summary: Ianto has made a terrible mistake

Ianto re-read the email again and couldn't be sure he wasn't about to throw up. Oh God. He was going to be crucified for it.

'Are you planning on eating that?' Jack asked, wandering though the kitchen, his shirt still hanging out from his trousers as he picked up the coffee and slurped it loudly.

Ianto waved absently with his hand, unable to take his eyes off the screen. Jack reached over and snaffled the piece of toast from the plate, inhaling it in two mouthfuls.

'Whatcha doing?' Jack asked, finally buttoning up his shirt, tucking it in and sitting down at the table across from him. It wasn't like Ianto to work over breakfast. They had strict rules about this sort of thing.

'Contemplating my demise,' Ianto replied.

Jack chuckled, accustomed to Ianto's witty replies to simple questions. It wasn't until he saw just how pale Ianto's face was that he began to feel concerned. He reached a hand across the table and gripped Ianto's. 'What's wrong?'

'I'm an idiot. The world's biggest idiot,' he muttered. He glanced down at his phone which was sat on the table right next to his laptop, just waiting for it to ring. Would he call personally, or would he have someone else do the honors? Maybe he'd be summoned to Buckingham Palace to be officially defrocked by the Queen herself. What would happen then? How long until they stripped him of his office, an hour, a day? What then? Would they give Jack his old job back, or would they put someone else entirely in his place?

'Ianto, why are you an idiot?'

'I...' How to tell Jack? He should be angry at Jack. Wasn't he half to blame for this? He ran his hands through his hair, certain that despite any sort of immortality, he'd just created a few more grey ones. 'I just inferred that Major General Ahmed is mentally unsound and may need to have his medications reviewed.'

Jack nearly spat out his coffee. 'Wait, what?'

Dear God, it was even worse when he said it out loud.

'Ianto, you're not seriously saying you called the head of UNIT a crackpot, are you?'

Ianto twirled the laptop around and showed Jack the email. It all looked perfectly boring and normal, Ianto having responded to a report they'd issued on matters pertaining to a more unified approach to research and development of alien technology.

It had been bothering his husband for weeks, knowing how strongly Ianto felt about letting UNIT have any more access to technology than they already did. The events of Torchwood One ten years ago still left a bitter taste in their mouths. Ianto's own report had been lengthy and detailed. Torchwood would have their own research division so as to better keep control over the use of artifacts and what research would be done on them. It wasn't until Jack reached the last line of the email, that he understood Ianto's concerns.

"Please advise if you require any further medications. Yours sincerely, Ianto Jones."

'I take it that's not what you meant to say?'

'Modifications!' Ianto practically yelled. 'I meant modifications! Jesus Christ!' he said, putting his head in his hands.

This was why he shouldn't do these things at home. He'd been meaning to finalise his response all day, and yet a hundred other things had demanded his attention. It wasn't until he was sat in bed, computer in his lap, that he finally had a quiet moment to gather his thoughts and finish his email. It was late and he was tired, but he was determined to finish it.

Jack, of course, had other plans. He always told Ianto he worked too hard. Instead of letting him finish, Jack was trying to coax him to put the laptop away. As Ianto struggled to collect his thoughts, Jack had one hand stroking his leg and he was placing gentle kisses on his shoulder, urging him to stop. It was sufficient distraction for him not to have double checked the contents before clicking send, all the while looking forward to nothing more than curling up in bed. It wasn't until this morning that he'd uncovered the horror of what he'd done, wanting to append a few further thoughts to his original response, finding the proof of his stupidity right there in black and white.

'God, Jack. What have I done?'

'It's just a typo. I'm sure he won't be offended by it. Just call him and explain.'

'I don't think I can.' Ahmed was anything but a man who could take a joke. Every time Ianto had to go to UNIT headquarters in London he almost cringed at having to make smalltalk with the man. It was half a wonder he'd ever been promoted to UNIT head.

'Ahmed will have me flayed alive over this.'

'I'm sure you're just overreacting.'

'I accused the man of needing to be on medication!'

'It's one little wrong word.'

'I'm sorry, but have you met the man?'

Jack had met a lot of military UNIT types, but even their fastidious nature paled in comparison to Ahmed. 'Yeah, okay, but I'm sure we can fix this. The world doesn't end because of one email, I'm sure of it.'

Jack scrutinised the email again. 'Ianto, there's no document prefix on this email.' Everything in their systems was automatically prefixed with a unique identifier before being filed away. It was all part of Ianto's own system to ensure nothing they did ever went astray.

'Don't be silly, of course it does,' he said, grabbing that laptop back. 'Everything that gets sent gets filed.' He checked the logs. 'It should have been filed.'

'Only if it was sent,' Jack replied. 'Ianto, which wi-fi network were you logged into last night? The home one or the Torchwood one?'

'The Torchwood one, of course.'

'Are you sure?'

Ianto frowned. 'Well, I was until you asked.'

'You know the home wi-fi has been playing up, yeah? I know you told me to get it fixed but I haven't.'

'Yeah, that's why I was on the Torchwood network.' Apart from anything else, it was a lot more secure, and he had been doing Torchwood work. He didn't want some pimple-faced teenager from Barry hacking into their classified emails.

'Check the connection,' Jack said, watching his lover carefully as he tapped the keys.

Ianto's face twisted in confusion. 'How is that... possible?'

'What?'

'I'm connected to our home wi-fi. The email isn't prefixed because it never successfully sent.'

'Well, fancy that,' Jack said, leaning back in his chair and grinning. 'Guess you were more tired than you thought last night that you logged into the wrong network.'

'I think I'm meant to feel insulted by that,' Ianto said, but feeling more relieved than he'd ever felt in his life. He immediately disconnected before their wi-fi decided to work again.

'I'm sorry I haven't gotten it fixed,' Jack apologised.

Ianto stood up from the table and grabbed Jack's head in his hands, kissing him. 'I've never been so grateful for you being lazy and not fixing something ever,' he said.

Jack grinned into the kiss. If he'd known being lazy would earn him this as a reward, he'd break things and leave them broken more often.

'So, I guess that means you get to keep your job for another day?'

Ianto slipped back down into his chair, relief turning his legs to jelly. He let out a long, shaky sigh. 'Yep. You're stuck with me for a while longer yet, it seems.'

'So, are you planning on sending that email or not? I mean, after you've made some minor alterations?'

'Yes, I'd better do that now before he starts wondering why I haven't responded at all.'

'Maybe this will teach you not to take your work home with you?' Jack suggested.

'Oh, yes, because our home lives and work lives never coincide,' Ianto replied.

Ianto sat back down and pulled up the email, deleting the entire last line. He reconnected to the Torchwood systems wi-fi and hit send. 'I've decided I don't particularly care for any modifications, after all,' he said. 'I already almost lost my job over this. If they decide they still don't like it, then that is something I'm prepared to lose my position over.'

Jack looked back at him, picking up his coffee and grinning over the top of it. 'I love it when you get all bossy.'  

Comments

[bk_forever]

Now that is a classic typo, but it's fortunate it didn't get sent. Ianto can rest easy.

[m-findlow.livejournal.com]

Hee hee. Another case of art imitating life. Happened to a girl at work but luckily someone else picked it up before she sent it. They both had lucky escapes! :)